A few weeks ago I had some plumbing done at the house. Replaced a hot water heater and a toilet. No big deal.

The plumbers hauled off the water heater but left the toilet for me to dispose of. I contemplated setting it in the front yard and putting a potted plant in it just to thrill my children when they returned home Easter weekend, and probably would have done so, but got busy and just forgot. A great opportunity missed.

I then carried it around town in the back of my truck for awhile. Who could resist doing that.

Today I decided it was time to take it to the dump and get rid of it. Since I was by myself I took a hammer and broke it into a few manageable pieces and headed out. About here is where my experience stopped and learning was about to begin.
At the dump I talked to the little man in charge of what goes where and he told me where to go. I backed up to the "main" garbage building and began lifting the toilet out of the bed. It was slick and slipped a little in my hands and when I regripped I learned exactly how sharp ceramic is. All four fingers of my left hand were cut. My little finger barely, my index finger not enough for stitches, but the other two were pretty bad.

I walked over to another building, the one where they compact the garbage, but couldn't find a way in. I saw a guy leaning out the door of a trailer and started toward him but he began yelling that I couldn't come over there. (It didn't dawn on me then but the orange pants should have been a giveaway that he was a prisoner working at the landfill.) He told me to push a buzzer by the door and hold my hand up to the security monitor. Then I think he passed out.

Finally a sheriff deputy (a real young-looking one) came out with gauze pads, tape, rubber gloves, etc and did an excellent job bandaging me enough that I could drive myself the mile or so to my doctor's office. Doc wasn't in but immediately came back to the office and started sewing me up. Luckily he determined that there was no tendon damage but it took an hour or so to put five or six stitches in my ring finger and 5 more in my middle finger. I also got a tetanus shot since our combined intelligence told us that a toilet was probably not the most sanitary thing on which to cut yourself.

So, if you wonder why you are having to read this real slow it is because I can't type very fast today.