mustcoach

Addison Leinart (Forward), West HS, 34 goals/9 assists Liz Newsom (GK), Webb School of Knoxville. Hannah Russell (Forward), Central HS, 33 goals/12 assists

Alot of you are missing the point as usual. I am extremely happy that they made it. There is NO personal attack going on here as everyone would like to think. Most of you get on here and really don't understand what goes on behind the scenes but like to think you do. I didn't know all of the other stuff that goes on until I started questioning it to my friends and peers. Alot of BIG D1 athletic directors have MANDATED that rosters be over 25 to 30/40. Why? D1 schools only have 14 and some change in scholarlships to divide among 25+ players. So what does this mean? It means there are only 12-14 that willl see any real time and they have the largest percentage of athletic money given to them. The other players are basically supporting the program because parente are writing the check to make up for what gov't money, state and federal, loans, academic money and athletic money didn't. So if it's $35,000 a year for an out of state student to attend then that player may get $20,000 once it's all said an done. That leaves parents to pay $15,000 now times that by 10 players whose parents are doing that and I bet that is a low number. That is $150,000 to run the program on considering soccer is a non-revenue generating sport meaning it typically does not make enough to cover its expenses. Now the athletic department adds to that amount but that $150,000 it doesn't have to give them. There is my point! Not that the young ladies aren't talented. Not that they aren't able to contribute...but that it is a money game in these econiomic times and will always be. I agree with DonCChatt that all players choose schools for different reasons. But understand there are underlying reason why college coaches offer what they do and to whom. Of course it's flattering to be wanted by an SEC school, big program. But it isn't always for the reasons we believe them to be. But to be going and making soccer your life at a D1 school, not playing, in most cases, and mom and dad writing the check is hard to justify. How many young ladies do this every year and then end up burned out when it isn't like they thought. They sweat, they bleed, they do everything asked and they DON'T PLAY! Someone with more scholarship money will play over them because the coach has staked his job on that player at the D1 level. That is what was meant by the "it's not their fault" line. Have you never just looked at a player and heard where they were going and thought "wow, I didn't think they were that calibur." Or just the opposite, the very talented player who went where you thought, but didn't play. People...wake up. Things that make you go....Uhhmmmm! Please understand...these ladies are very talented and I have seen them play. But I think they could get a great education somewhere, have the same great experience and be a vital contributor to their team and for less money. If they want what they have...more power to them and I wish them all the success in the world. I am not the only coach that sees this everyday, but may be the only one that states the fact. People, these are the facts and choosing to not believe them doesn't make it any less of a fact. It's a money game no matter what sport but in the non-revenue sports even more so. Oh and I knew everyone knew this...LSU's roster went from 21 in 2008 to now 27 and Alabamas went from 27 to 30. Oh and they haven't named all of their signees as of today. There are more coming. Things that make you go....Uhhmmmmm?

Just looking at the list I am making a prediction. Most will respond and not know the facts that lead to this prediction, but just remember where it was said. The players going to big schools will NOT be productive or see time. Nothing personal against the young ladies, but Porter and Rix are NOT SEC quality players. They would do fine at smaller schools but NOT in the SEC. Glad they got the chance. Even if healthy won't be a productive in Div. 1 and it's not their fault. I know nothing of the others and they may do fine. Myself being a college coach and other colleagues of mine see this all the time. They are roster fillers for the D1 schools. I wish them the best.

I just wanted to add to some of what has been written. 1. It is up to each school if they WILL stack money. To explain this better when a family sends in their FASFA, the school gets official transcripts of grades, SAT/ACT scores then it will determine what academic money, state and federal money, outside scholarships the student applying will get. They in turn send that to the coach and they will then decide, based on what money is available, how much the player is going to get. The coach then sends that to the financial aid office and it's sent as an award package to the family/player. Hence they have stacked it. If you are applying to a NCAA D3 school the coach litterally does NOT see what the player is awarded. It is between the financial aid office and the family exclusively. Very few schools are NOT allowed to stack money. Also YES you can stack them IF your money is more than it costs to attend the school. 2. There are rare cases where a student DID get more money than what it costs and they CAN use it for books and in some cases rent on an apartment, gas for the car...normal expenses for what it would cost to go to school and to live on. I know it's weird, but I have seen it. 3. If you hear of someone getting a full ride to to play soccer in college, then DON'T believe it. Oh they may have gotten enough money from all the above types of sources, Hope, Pell, student loans, academics and athletic, that the parents don't have to pay any money, but soccer didn't cover it all. That is a parent/player in all their pride stretching the truth ALOT! I thought Canesoverhere made a great point...BE YOUR OWN EXPERT!! Don't wait till your junior year to start researching schools etc... That's like waiting till your junior year to make A's and you made D's in 9th and 10th grades. To late to bring that GPA up to get any real money. Just so you know on the average the money difference between a 3.5 and a 3.8 is roughly $2,500. Do the math and figure out a 3.0 to a 3.8. Encourage your kids to stay sharp on the books. Just don't drive them crazy with it. Sit them down and have a heart to heart about WHY it's important to them and the family to have good grades for college. Help them understand the benefits and why college coaches find the kids with GREAT grades and average to above average talent more appealing. Hope this helps.

As a college head coach of womens soccer and club players GU17 and GU15 that one day MAY want to play college soccer at any level, NCAA D1, 2, 3, NAIA, JUCO and NCCAA, I feel it is my responsibility to keep them up to date on the changing future of college athletics. If you are a junior, then pay very close attention to this. It is coming very fast for your family. As everyone knows the economic times are looking bad. Some optimistic reports have us in a recession that in the near future will level out. Pessimists say the worst is ahead and see it lasting five to eight years. Unfortunately the pessimists have been far more accurate than the optimists. With that said it is all effecting colleges and again at every level. Below is a link to an article from The Guardian written on December 8, 2008. It?????™s about what Harvard is facing in making MAJOR cuts. Oh and by the way?????¦Harvard has the LARGEST ENDOWMENT FUND OF ANY AMERICAN UNIVERSITY AT 36.9 BILLION DOLLARS!!! http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/dec/0...ances-economics So where am I going with this? You ask?????¦How is this something for me, especially parents of a high school freshman? Here is why: It puts an even greater emphasis on your childs academic performance. The first cuts being made at schools whose sports are NOT revenue producing is the athletic scholarship money and operating budgets. What does this mean? The only money and how much they get, is going to be based on your childs GPA, SAT and/or ACT scores. The only other money available is state, federal, student loans, outside scholarships. It effects the number of and type of player coaches/schools are forced to recruit? Unfortunately it brings to bear economic differences in households and the parents income. Coaches now start to look for this situation: Families with HIGH income that can write the large check to make up the difference that athletic scholarships once filled. Families of low income that will qualify for NEED based money from the state, federal gov?????™t and even some schools will have need based money that will make up the difference that athletic scholarships once filled. Players with EXCELLENT ACADEMICS. Players that are IN STATE so they get the states lottery money for education. It makes the player from MIDDLE CLASS families the least attractive no matter the skill level. Those players will struggle to get in school because the family makes to little to write the large check or to much to get any need based money from state and gov?????™t. Roster sizes of 22+ are now going to be at 15-18. Maybe even less at smaller schools. I spoke to three coaches, one at Div. 1 and two at Div. 3, today and each one said they are expecting their numbers to go down. Not just because of the TYPE they have to look for, but because of the limited amount of money schools have in their endowments which fund 90% of academic scholarships. It effects what schools you need to start looking at and applying to them very EARLY!! With many people having to take pay cuts, income is now going down and tuition costs are still rising at MOST schools?????¦this forces families to readjust what school they can afford. Now it?????™s not about where I WANT TO GO. It?????™s about WHERE CAN I AFFORD TO GO and still get a good education. It also causes families to make that decision earlier so they apply and get accepted early. Now with all academic money being first come/first serve the earlier you get applications in and financial packages worked out, the better you can make a good educated decision on the best fit. Remember schools academic money is mainly coming from endowments or personal scholarships given by alumni. That money is LIMITED and the early bird catches the worm fits perfectly here. Once it is gone, it is gone. Also remember this...Coaches are going to start making offers earlier and expecting verbal commitments sooner. It?????™s now about WHO CAN I GET SIGNED, NOT WHO DO I WANT TO SIGN! Just some info for parents/players to file away.

As a college head coach of womens soccer and club players GU17 and GU15 that one day MAY want to play college soccer at any level, NCAA D1, 2, 3, NAIA, JUCO and NCCAA, I feel it is my responsibility to keep them up to date on the changing future of college athletics. If you are a junior, then pay very close attention to this. It is coming very fast for your family. As everyone knows the economic times are looking bad. Some optimistic reports have us in a recession that in the near future will level out. Pessimists say the worst is ahead and see it lasting five to eight years. Unfortunately the pessimists have been far more accurate than the optimists. With that said it is all effecting colleges and again at every level. Below is a link to an article from The Guardian written on December 8, 2008. It??™s about what Harvard is facing in making MAJOR cuts. Oh and by the way??¦Harvard has the LARGEST ENDOWMENT FUND OF ANY AMERICAN UNIVERSITY AT 36.9 BILLION DOLLARS!!! http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/dec/0...ances-economics So where am I going with this? You ask??¦How is this something for me, especially parents of a high school freshman? Here is why: It puts an even greater emphasis on your childs academic performance. The first cuts being made at schools whose sports are NOT revenue producing is the athletic scholarship money and operating budgets. What does this mean? The only money and how much they get, is going to be based on your childs GPA, SAT and/or ACT scores. The only other money available is state, federal, student loans, outside scholarships. It effects the number of and type of player coaches/schools are forced to recruit? Unfortunately it brings to bear economic differences in households and the parents income. Coaches now start to look for this situation: Families with HIGH income that can write the large check to make up the difference that athletic scholarships once filled. Families of low income that will qualify for NEED based money from the state, federal gov??™t and even some schools will have need based money that will make up the difference that athletic scholarships once filled. Players with EXCELLENT ACADEMICS. Players that are IN STATE so they get the states lottery money for education. It makes the player from MIDDLE CLASS families the least attractive no matter the skill level. Those players will struggle to get in school because the family makes to little to write the large check or to much to get any need based money from state and gov??™t. Roster sizes of 22+ are now going to be at 15-18. Maybe even less at smaller schools. I spoke to three coaches, one at Div. 1 and two at Div. 3, today and each one said they are expecting their numbers to go down. Not just because of the TYPE they have to look for, but because of the limited amount of money schools have in their endowments which fund 90% of academic scholarships. It effects what schools you need to start looking at and applying to them very EARLY!! With many people having to take pay cuts, income is now going down and tuition costs are still rising at MOST schools??¦this forces families to readjust what school they can afford. Now it??™s not about where I WANT TO GO. It??™s about WHERE CAN I AFFORD TO GO and still get a good education. It also causes families to make that decision earlier so they apply and get accepted early. Now with all academic money being first come/first serve the earlier you get applications in and financial packages worked out, the better you can make a good educated decision on the best fit. Remember schools academic money is mainly coming from endowments or personal scholarships given by alumni. That money is LIMITED and the early bird catches the worm fits perfectly here. Once it is gone, it is gone. Also remember this...Coaches are going to start making offers earlier and expecting verbal commitments sooner. It??™s now about WHO CAN I GET SIGNED, NOT WHO DO I WANT TO SIGN! Just some info for parents/players to file away.

That last point of yours is a good one. I would lean to saying "yes" they are well bank rolled. Soccer in MY opinion has become somewhat of an "Eliteist" sport. The sport is not exposed to inner city or rural youth like it could be and even when done so most families don't have the disposable income to pay for it. Most clubs have schlorships to help players. I still would like to see clubs set aside money to FULLY fund some players dues. Parents on teams tend to be willing to help out on tournaments with rides and rooms without the player in need having to chip in except for food. I saw some teams in NC that had sponsorships. Don't know what TN's guidlines on this are. Be nice to find out.

The HS "impediment" for almost all of those states is..."They still think HS soccer is the highest level of the sport in that state or at the very least its equal". TX does NOT! Bad HS soccer only affects club if that is the only club in town. Most likely I suspect that the bad club coaches in that area hurt the HS. Good clubs in your area make HS soccer better. HS soccer affects club only that I have to fix all the bad habits HS coaches allow. Not all of them BigG. Oh, my players come back fit and that is tremendous. The fact that they forgot that there is a MIDFIELD in our formation is a HUGE problem. LOL GA, Ala, NC play HS soccer in the spring. TN does so in the fall. Fla plays in between the two so they get to do both seasons. I also think in Fla. HS players can still do club during the season. But there may be a limit on games, I am not sure. The gap is "BIG" between the states. TN went 0-8-2 against TX. Outscored 16-4. Yes, in the U15 and 16 groups your stats are correct. If history repeats itself as these teams get older, the gap will grow. But POPUALTION is the biggest reason.

MVM There is alot of right and wrong in the perception of what you say. You are spending money for your child to get TRAINING. Hopefully it is good training. Bad training won't matter if your child still can't do it when they get to play. I tell my parents..."you are not paying for play time. You are paying for TRAINING. Your child will earn their playing time". Coaches should man up and let the parent/player know exactly where their child is in their skill level. I think that seperates the "Posers" as coaches and "REAL" coaches. Again can parents deal with the truth if the child is lacking. In my experience some can, most can't. Coaches need to tell parents "worst case scenario" in playing time, etc... From there anything more is "bonus". As far as taking 18 when 13 can do the job...you have to carry 15-18 just to plan for injuries, players missing, etc...If a coach is really interested in developing talent then he will get everyone some good quality time. If he is more interested in wins, he won't. That is where the "5 minutes" comes in. The other side of that is at certain ages, over U14, and levels, D2 and above, players must realize where they are at. If it is a big game like State, Region or National Championship they may not get in. Yes, there is more than one game in town. But is that other game better because your child gets to play more minutes? or because better coaching is available?

This past week I got to sit in, listen and learn from what in my mind is the #1 Women’s soccer coach in the World, Anson Dorrance. His resume speaks for itself with: • Member of the Soccer Hall of Fame • 629-28-18 record in 28 years • 19 of 26 NCAA National Championships • 1 World Championship • 1 Olympic Championship • The coach who has developed such players as April Heinricks, Mia Hamm, Kristine Lilly, Carla Overbeck-Warden, Heather O'Reilly, Tracy Ducar, Lori Chalupny, Tobin Heath and the list goes on and on. I think it is a good time to share some things I learned from Anson and you do with it as you see fit. But take a good honest look at yourself as the parents of young female athletes and see where you fit. Most parents think their kids have talent. But talent is not the one all end all of what makes someone great at whatever endevour they choose, be it music, athletics or academics, etc… A man by the name of Herb Greenberg started a company named Caliper. Through this company he sells his services to the NHL, MLS, NFL, NBA and MLB. • What he is paid a lot of money to do is to analyze athletic potential and advise different professional teams who to draft. (He is the one that told Indianapolis to draft Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf if he was still there.) • His methodology is to have the athletes he is asked to analyze take a battery of psychological tests to see if the three most critical qualities for athletic success are a part of their mental make up. • If one or more of these qualities is not there he advises his clients to not draft the athletes being considered, not to take the risk. There is nothing horribly profound or surprising about what he is looking for in his tests. He is looking for the core of “ATHLETIC CHARACTER.” He is looking for: 1. Self-discipline 2. competitive fire 3. self-belief (don’t confuse this with ALWAYS having unwaivering confidence. Real self-belief will not be shaken regardless of what happens to you.) All the talent in the world can be torpedoed by any one or all three of these critical qualities if you are missing them. All athletes have choices to make that will sort out how good you are going to be. How you chase these three areas will be the final measure in your athletic greatness. Some of our athletes are going to make it because they have self-discipline to separate from their peers even though self discipline is an extraordinarily uncomfortable state….it is not easy for ordinary people. Most are rather ordinary so most will not really attain their potential. It is just to hard to invest in being the best. Most would rather be comfortable. But please understand being ordinary is not an indictment it is a choice. I am here to tell each of you that you control all of these qualities. These are not genetic traits you inherited, these are all decisions you all have made or can make now to make a difference. Most of what I am writing has to do with choice and accountability. I think this aspect of athletics is where the greatest value of athletics lies. It is in an area that is being undermined by “parents going to ludicrous lengths to take the lumps and bumps out of life for their children”. If athletics has any real value then it is here, where you get to choose not to have any discipline and watch a lesser athlete that works harder play in front of you and decide if this lack of commitment is the way you are going to live your life. Or you get to compete against someone 1v1 and quit in the middle of it and realize that either you are just not mentally tough enough or accept that this doesn’t mean that much to you…you would rather not try (not compete) because you would rather remain more comfortable. And then of course you have to decide how you are going to navigate the real character issues: • Do you take responsibility for where you are and NOT recruit your parents to defend you from this “grave injustice” of not starting or playing as much as you would like OR • after seeing your “failure”, do your parents have the character to recognize your lack of accountability and commitment and hold you to a higher standard of performance and behavior that the coach is hoping you will obtain? And if one of these last two scenarios is played out the right way, then athletics, this wonderful laboratory of the human spirit, has helped you grow up to be stronger and a more honorable human being. Creating what a November/December 2004 article in Psychology Today calls “A Nation of Wimps” the parents of today are irrational protective bubbles for their kids…sheltering them from the “chaos of the universe”. The study says this: 1. “Kids need to feel badly sometimes” says child psychologist David Elkind, professor at Tufts University. “We learn though experience and we learn through bad experiences. Through failure we learn to cope.” 2. “Kids are losing leadership skills.” (Because their parents are doing everything for them). 3. The “eternal umbilicus”: the cell phone “reporting every flicker of experience. Or a comparable phenomena: the “helicopter parent” hovering over every aspect of their kids life…saving and protecting them at every opportunity. 4. “Parents are always so concerned about children having high self esteem…but the numbers are spiking in depression”. 5. Bench markers of adulthood-In 1960 by the age of 30-65% of males had reached it. In 2000 only 31% had. Among women in 1960-77% could demonstrate the bench makers of adulthood but by 2000 it had dropped to 46%. 6. “Children can’t handle difficult situations” anymore. In William Damon’s book Greater Expectations –“the culture of indulgence in America’s homes and schools”. The author says “out of a noble desire to give kids self esteem we are praising them for everything they do…this has a double negative effect: 1. they develop no sense of standards “everything is wonderful” 2. they develop no sense of respect for authority because no one is telling them the truth about the demands of the real world and they know they are being lied to… Myself and other coaches are now asked to develop what is left of these kids. It is harder now but we have a very real opportunity to impact them. In a story shared by Anson in his book, The Vision of a Champion” he recalls one of his favorite stories on the subject of personal responsibility and team loyalty. He also shares this with everyone, players and coaches, at his girls summer camp. “Tracey Bates Leone (’85-’89) was my starting left midfielder when I coached the US National Team. On a trip to Italy, Kristine Lilly beat her out for that spot. We were staying in a hotel with only one telephone, located underneath a stairwell. Late one night, after I had gone out for a run and was stretching near the stairs, I could hear Tracy on the phone with her mother. “No, I passed all my fitness tests…No Anson’s not mad at me,” Tracy said. Then bursting into tears she added, “Don’t you understand Mom, Kristine is just better than I am.” I could tell that in an effort to comfort Tracey, her mother was giving her every possible reason to pass blame for not playing, to desert her mission with the team, and Tracey wouldn’t accept it. She didn’t make excuses for why she wasn’t playing; she accepted the reality, which was that Kristine was better than she was. We won the World Championship later that year, and Tracey was a big part of that. Underneath her photo in the media guide, in the answer to the question “Who do you most admire?” Tracey said: “Kristine Lilly.” That is class. That’s honorable. That’s depth of character. It’s also rare! We see from that story that it was the PARENT trying to protect her daughter. She certainly gave her every chance to blame Anson for not picking her daughter to start. It wasn’t the player. But she did the noble thing by protecting her coach and his decision because she knew she was not the best between the two. Players know the hierarchy or who is best and who isn’t. Most of the time it is the parents that can’t see through their own desire to have their child be the best. Remember earlier I spoke of the three core athletic character traits…self-discipline, competitive fire and self-belief. Remember these are all qualities people control and people make the choice to have them. And if you don’t chose it, don’t worry, very few do…these kinds of people are exceptionally rare, they are sometimes called CHAMPIONS. “Champion” is another word for individuals willing to do difficult and uncomfortable things on a daily basis that no one else is willing to do. Yes, players that play for me will experience highs and lows, periods where they are uncomfortable because I push them out of the comfort zone so they will FAIL!!! Only through this FAILURE will there be success. But on the other side of this discomfort/failure they become stronger when they realize they can do it. Not every player can handle it and I find more often than not it is the parent that can’t handle it. They forget when they were younger,in a much different era, that our coaches pushed us, our teachers paddled our ######, we were told either do the work or fail and we didn’t get a second chance to retake the test because we made bad on it. The authority figures in our lives then challenged us to be all we could be while at the same time declaring a standard and we darn well better meet it because they were not lowering it. Back then we had TRYOUTS and NOT everyone made the team. It made the ones that really wanted it work harder to make it and when they did the feeling of accomplishment was tremendous. It also weeded out the ones who didn’t really want it but felt they were entitled to it. Remember them? I appreciate you parents letting me coach your daughters/sons. But you must let me coach and know I have your childs best interests in my mind. Thanks

This past week I got to sit in, listen and learn from what in my mind is the #1 Women’s soccer coach in the World, Anson Dorrance. His resume speaks for itself with: • Member of the Soccer Hall of Fame • 629-28-18 record in 28 years • 19 of 26 NCAA National Championships • 1 World Championship • 1 Olympic Championship • The coach who has developed such players as April Heinricks, Mia Hamm, Kristine Lilly, Carla Overbeck-Warden, Heather O’Reilly, Tracy Ducar, Lori Chalupny, Tobin Heath and the list goes on and on. I think it is a good time to share some things I learned from Anson and you do with it as you see fit. But take a good honest look at yourself as the parents of young female athletes and see where you fit. Most parents think their kids have talent. But talent is not the one all end all of what makes someone great at whatever endevour they choose, be it music, athletics or academics, etc… A man by the name of Herb Greenberg started a company named Caliper. Through this company he sells his services to the NHL, MLS, NFL, NBA and MLB. • What he is paid a lot of money to do is to analyze athletic potential and advise different professional teams who to draft. (He is the one that told Indianapolis to draft Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf if he was still there.) • His methodology is to have the athletes he is asked to analyze take a battery of psychological tests to see if the three most critical qualities for athletic success are a part of their mental make up. • If one or more of these qualities is not there he advises his clients to not draft the athletes being considered, not to take the risk. There is nothing horribly profound or surprising about what he is looking for in his tests. He is looking for the core of “ATHLETIC CHARACTER.” He is looking for: 1. Self-discipline 2. competitive fire 3. self-belief (don’t confuse this with ALWAYS having unwaivering confidence. Real self-belief will not be shaken regardless of what happens to you.) All the talent in the world can be torpedoed by any one or all three of these critical qualities if you are missing them. All athletes have choices to make that will sort out how good you are going to be. How you chase these three areas will be the final measure in your athletic greatness. Some of our athletes are going to make it because they have self-discipline to separate from their peers even though self discipline is an extraordinarily uncomfortable state….it is not easy for ordinary people. Most are rather ordinary so most will not really attain their potential. It is just to hard to invest in being the best. Most would rather be comfortable. But please understand being ordinary is not an indictment it is a choice. I am here to tell each of you that you control all of these qualities. These are not genetic traits you inherited, these are all decisions you all have made or can make now to make a difference. Most of what I am writing has to do with choice and accountability. I think this aspect of athletics is where the greatest value of athletics lies. It is in an area that is being undermined by “parents going to ludicrous lengths to take the lumps and bumps out of life for their children”. If athletics has any real value then it is here, where you get to choose not to have any discipline and watch a lesser athlete that works harder play in front of you and decide if this lack of commitment is the way you are going to live your life. Or you get to compete against someone 1v1 and quit in the middle of it and realize that either you are just not mentally tough enough or accept that this doesn’t mean that much to you…you would rather not try (not compete) because you would rather remain more comfortable. And then of course you have to decide how you are going to navigate the real character issues: • Do you take responsibility for where you are and NOT recruit your parents to defend you from this “grave injustice” of not starting or playing as much as you would like OR • after seeing your “failure”, do your parents have the character to recognize your lack of accountability and commitment and hold you to a higher standard of performance and behavior that the coach is hoping you will obtain? And if one of these last two scenarios is played out the right way, then athletics, this wonderful laboratory of the human spirit, has helped you grow up to be stringer and a more honorable human being. Creating what a November/December 2004 article in Psychology Today calls “A Nation of Wimps” the parents of today are irrational protective bubbles for their kids…sheltering them from the “chaos of the universe”. The study says this: 1. “Kids need to feel badly sometimes” says child psychologist David Elkind, professor at Tufts University. “We learn though experience and we learn through bad experiences. Through failure we learn to cope.” 2. “Kids are losing leadership skills.” (Because their parents are doing everything for them). 3. The “eternal umbilicus”: the cell phone “reporting every flicker of experience. Or a comparable phenomena: the “helicopter parent” hovering over every aspect of their kids life…saving and protecting them at every opportunity. 4. “Parents are always so concerned about children having high self esteem…but the numbers are spiking in depression”. 5. Bench markers of adulthood-In 1960 by the age of 30-65% of males had reached it. In 2000 only 31% had. Among women in 1960-77% could demonstrate the bench makers of adulthood but by 2000 it had dropped to 46%. 6. “Children can’t handle difficult situations” anymore. In William Damon’s book Greater Expectations –“the culture of indulgence in America’s homes and schools”. The author says “out of a noble desire to give kids self esteem we are praising them for everything they do…this has a double negative effect: 1. they develop no sense of standards “everything is wonderful” 2. they develop no sense of respect for authority because no one is telling them the truth about the demands of the real world and they know they are being lied to… Myself and other coaches are now asked to develop what is left of these kids. It is harder now but we have a very real opportunity to impact them. In a story shared by Anson in his book, The Vision of a Champion” he recalls one of his favorite stories on the subject of personal responsibility and team loyalty. He also shares this with everyone, players and coaches, at his girls summer camp. “Tracey Bates Leone (’85-’89) was my starting left midfielder when I coached the US National Team. On a trip to Italy, Kristine Lilly beat her out for that spot. We were staying in a hotel with only one telephone, located underneath a stairwell. Late one night, after I had gone out for a run and was stretching near the stairs, I could hear Tracy on the phone with her mother. “No, I passed all my fitness tests…No Anson’s not mad at me,” Tracy said. Then bursting into tears she added, “Don’t you understand Mom, Kristine is just better than I am.” I could tell that in an effort to comfort Tracey, her mother was giving her every possible reason to pass blame for not playing, to desert her mission with the team, and Tracey wouldn’t accept it. She didn’t make excuses for why she wasn’t playing; she accepted the reality, which was that Kristine was better than she was. We won the World Championship later that year, and Tracey was a big part of that. Underneath her photo in the media guide, in the answer to the question “Who do you most admire?” Tracey said: “Kristine Lilly.” That is class. That’s honorable. That’s depth of character. It’s also rare! We see from that story that it was the PARENT trying to protect her daughter. She certainly gave her every chance to blame Anson for not picking her daughter to start. It wasn’t the player. But she did the noble thing by protecting her coach and his decision because she knew she was not the best between the two. Players know the hierarchy or who is best and who isn’t. Most of the time it is the parents that can’t see through their own desire to have their child be the best. Remember earlier I spoke of the three core athletic character traits…self-discipline, competitive fire and self-belief. Remember these are all qualities people control and people make the choice to have them. And if you don’t chose it, don’t worry, very few do…these kinds of people are exceptionally rare, they are sometimes called CHAMPIONS. “Champion” is another word for individuals willing to do difficult and uncomfortable things on a daily basis that no one else is willing to do. Yes, players that play for me will experience highs and lows, periods where they are uncomfortable because I push them out of the comfort zone so they will FAIL!!! Only through this FAILURE will there be success. But on the other side of this discomfort/failure they become stronger when they realize they can do it. Not every player can handle it and I find more often than not it is the parent that can’t handle it. They forget when they were younger,in a much different era, that our coaches pushed us, our teachers paddled our ######, we were told either do the work or fail and we didn’t get a second chance to retake the test because we made bad on it. The authority figures in our lives then challenged us to be all we could be while at the same time declaring a standard and we darn well better meet it because they were not lowering it. Back then we had TRYOUTS and NOT everyone made the team. It made the ones that really wanted it work harder to make it and when they did the feeling of accomplishment was tremendous. It also weeded out the ones who didn’t really want it but felt they were entitled to it. Remember them? I appreciate you parents letting me coach your daughters/sons. But you must let me coach and know I have your childs best interests in my mind. Thanks

This past week I got to sit in, listen and learn from what in my mind is the #1 Women’s soccer coach in the World, Anson Dorrance. His resume speaks for itself with: • Member of the Soccer Hall of Fame • 629-28-18 record in 28 years • 19 of 26 NCAA National Championships • 1 World Championship • 1 Olympic Championship • The coach who has developed such players as April Heinricks, Mia Hamm, Kristine Lilly, Carla Overbeck-Warden, Heather O’Reilly, Tracy Ducar, Lori Chalupny, Tobin Heath and the list goes on and on. I think it is a good time to share some things I learned from Anson and you do with it as you see fit. But take a good honest look at yourself as the parents of young female athletes and see where you fit. Most parents think their kids have talent. But talent is not the one all end all of what makes someone great at whatever endevour they choose, be it music, athletics or academics, etc… A man by the name of Herb Greenberg started a company named Caliper. Through this company he sells his services to the NHL, MLS, NFL, NBA and MLB. • What he is paid a lot of money to do is to analyze athletic potential and advise different professional teams who to draft. (He is the one that told Indianapolis to draft Peyton Manning over Ryan Leaf if he was still there.) • His methodology is to have the athletes he is asked to analyze take a battery of psychological tests to see if the three most critical qualities for athletic success are a part of their mental make up. • If one or more of these qualities is not there he advises his clients to not draft the athletes being considered, not to take the risk. There is nothing horribly profound or surprising about what he is looking for in his tests. He is looking for the core of “ATHLETIC CHARACTER.” He is looking for: 1. Self-discipline 2. competitive fire 3. self-belief (don’t confuse this with ALWAYS having unwaivering confidence. Real self-belief will not be shaken regardless of what happens to you.) All the talent in the world can be torpedoed by any one or all three of these critical qualities if you are missing them. All athletes have choices to make that will sort out how good you are going to be. How you chase these three areas will be the final measure in your athletic greatness. Some of our athletes are going to make it because they have self-discipline to separate from their peers even though self discipline is an extraordinarily uncomfortable state….it is not easy for ordinary people. Most are rather ordinary so most will not really attain their potential. It is just to hard to invest in being the best. Most would rather be comfortable. But please understand being ordinary is not an indictment it is a choice. I am here to tell each of you that you control all of these qualities. These are not genetic traits you inherited, these are all decisions you all have made or can make now to make a difference. Most of what I am writing has to do with choice and accountability. I think this aspect of athletics is where the greatest value of athletics lies. It is in an area that is being undermined by “parents going to ludicrous lengths to take the lumps and bumps out of life for their children”. If athletics has any real value then it is here, where you get to choose not to have any discipline and watch a lesser athlete that works harder play in front of you and decide if this lack of commitment is the way you are going to live your life. Or you get to compete against someone 1v1 and quit in the middle of it and realize that either you are just not mentally tough enough or accept that this doesn’t mean that much to you…you would rather not try (not compete) because you would rather remain more comfortable. And then of course you have to decide how you are going to navigate the real character issues: • Do you take responsibility for where you are and NOT recruit your parents to defend you from this “grave injustice” of not starting or playing as much as you would like OR • after seeing your “failure”, do your parents have the character to recognize your lack of accountability and commitment and hold you to a higher standard of performance and behavior that the coach is hoping you will obtain? And if one of these last two scenarios is played out the right way, then athletics, this wonderful laboratory of the human spirit, has helped you grow up to be stringer and a more honorable human being. Creating what a November/December 2004 article in Psychology Today calls “A Nation of Wimps” the parents of today are irrational protective bubbles for their kids…sheltering them from the “chaos of the universe”. The study says this: 1. “Kids need to feel badly sometimes” says child psychologist David Elkind, professor at Tufts University. “We learn though experience and we learn through bad experiences. Through failure we learn to cope.” 2. “Kids are losing leadership skills.” (Because their parents are doing everything for them). 3. The “eternal umbilicus”: the cell phone “reporting every flicker of experience. Or a comparable phenomena: the “helicopter parent” hovering over every aspect of their kids life…saving and protecting them at every opportunity. 4. “Parents are always so concerned about children having high self esteem…but the numbers are spiking in depression”. 5. Bench markers of adulthood-In 1960 by the age of 30-65% of males had reached it. In 2000 only 31% had. Among women in 1960-77% could demonstrate the bench makers of adulthood but by 2000 it had dropped to 46%. 6. “Children can’t handle difficult situations” anymore. In William Damon’s book Greater Expectations –“the culture of indulgence in America’s homes and schools”. The author says “out of a noble desire to give kids self esteem we are praising them for everything they do…this has a double negative effect: 1. they develop no sense of standards “everything is wonderful” 2. they develop no sense of respect for authority because no one is telling them the truth about the demands of the real world and they know they are being lied to… Myself and other coaches are now asked to develop what is left of these kids. It is harder now but we have a very real opportunity to impact them. In a story shared by Anson in his book, The Vision of a Champion” he recalls one of his favorite stories on the subject of personal responsibility and team loyalty. He also shares this with everyone, players and coaches, at his girls summer camp. “Tracey Bates Leone (’85-’89) was my starting left midfielder when I coached the US National Team. On a trip to Italy, Kristine Lilly beat her out for that spot. We were staying in a hotel with only one telephone, located underneath a stairwell. Late one night, after I had gone out for a run and was stretching near the stairs, I could hear Tracy on the phone with her mother. “No, I passed all my fitness tests…No Anson’s not mad at me,” Tracy said. Then bursting into tears she added, “Don’t you understand Mom, Kristine is just better than I am.” I could tell that in an effort to comfort Tracey, her mother was giving her every possible reason to pass blame for not playing, to desert her mission with the team, and Tracey wouldn’t accept it. She didn’t make excuses for why she wasn’t playing; she accepted the reality, which was that Kristine was better than she was. We won the World Championship later that year, and Tracey was a big part of that. Underneath her photo in the media guide, in the answer to the question “Who do you most admire?” Tracey said: “Kristine Lilly.” That is class. That’s honorable. That’s depth of character. It’s also rare! We see from that story that it was the PARENT trying to protect her daughter. She certainly gave her every chance to blame Anson for not picking her daughter to start. It wasn’t the player. But she did the noble thing by protecting her coach and his decision because she knew she was not the best between the two. Players know the hierarchy or who is best and who isn’t. Most of the time it is the parents that can’t see through their own desire to have their child be the best. Remember earlier I spoke of the three core athletic character traits…self-discipline, competitive fire and self-belief. Remember these are all qualities people control and people make the choice to have them. And if you don’t chose it, don’t worry, very few do…these kinds of people are exceptionally rare, they are sometimes called CHAMPIONS. “Champion” is another word for individuals willing to do difficult and uncomfortable things on a daily basis that no one else is willing to do. Yes, players that play for me will experience highs and lows, periods where they are uncomfortable because I push them out of the comfort zone so they will FAIL!!! Only through this FAILURE will there be success. But on the other side of this discomfort/failure they become stronger when they realize they can do it. Not every player can handle it and I find more often than not it is the parent that can’t handle it. They forget when they were younger,in a much different era, that our coaches pushed us, our teachers paddled our ######, we were told either do the work or fail and we didn’t get a second chance to retake the test because we made bad on it. The authority figures in our lives then challenged us to be all we could be while at the same time declaring a standard and we darn well better meet it because they were not lowering it. Back then we had TRYOUTS and NOT everyone made the team. It made the ones that really wanted it work harder to make it and when they did the feeling of accomplishment was tremendous. It also weeded out the ones who didn’t really want it but felt they were entitled to it. Remember them? I appreciate you parents letting me coach your daughters/sons. But you must let me coach and know I have your childs best interests in my mind. Thanks

Everyone under my post has touched on every area I did. I touched on population. Texas has such a pool of players compared to what Nashville, Knoxville or even Memphis has TN in one area can't keep up. Dallas alone has more players than all three major cities in TN combined. CASL in NC has over 20,000 players alone. But here is where I touched on coaching. Most everyone agreed that coaching plays a huge part in this. Look at this comparison as to why CASL, Atlanta can't compete even with a huge population. They, Atlanta and Raleigh, don't have a professional team as in MLS like Dallas, Houston etc...So the professional players that move there in most cases stay, live there and coach.. They bring with them a better understanding of the game and alot of foreign influence. Just numbers alone will mean they have more, not always better, athletes. Combine with better coaches and it makes for a strong team to be sure. Now add to that these teams stay together for many years. Yes, they have players cut, dropoff, whatever. But in all these teams have played together for a while without players changing teams every year or two because someones child "Superstar" didn't get the playing time, or butt chewed etc....The parents know if they cause problems and cause drama where there is no drama then the word will be put out and a second or third level team is the only option for that superstar. Here in TN the BIGGEST single reason players change teams is parents moving their kid for a reason other than going to a better team. That hits on people wanting their player to be "the big fish in a small pond". There are examples of this all across the state. The Strikers, KFC Force, Real Madrid and Impact '92 were and have been fortuniate to keep most of what they have built for many years. But all of them have one thing in common...they built with the best players inside and outside of their area. Ask yourself this...How often do we really see teams stay together? They usually end up the way of the KFC Mustangs '92, TUSC United '92, Murfeeesboro Strikers '94, Brentwood Beat '92 and the list goes on. You do see teams with ongoing success have more players migrate to them. But what happens there is jealousy. Parents from in town don't like someone coming from out of town and taking their kids spot. Again we hit on "parental issues". Now some of it is the player who gets upset and then recruits their parent into the fray because of this grave injustice. Now instead of keeping the kid on the team, making them work and compete to win back position or more field time, they move them to the "small pond" to fix the injustice. What life lesson is learned here? Hey cleansheet1, here is where commitment starts and a missed opportunity to be learned!!! Now Bean007 talked about building programs. All true! But in building the program the expectations need to be outlined clearly as what the club/team are trying to accomplish. Again the player and the parents need to buy into this and accept it good or bad, starting or not starting, etc...Yes, in the early stages of player development, U12 and younger, it is NOT about winning. Some coaches, I use that term loosely, can't seperate winning and developing. TSSA has stopped all state championships from U12 and younger starting this year. I agree, but also don't agree. That is for another thread. But again...more experienced coaches, some with foreign influence get it. That is where larger areas like Texas excel. KFC has an amazing Academy program. I dare say it is the best in the state. I don't see players at any age from U12 down that can compete skill wise. Again don't compare wins/losses. I am talking about the TECHNICAL DEVELOPMENT of the player. You also see the PARENTS/PLAYERS being educated on what the true goal of all this is. It isn't perfect, but better than most I have seen in this state. Even as these kids get older, they will have to combine with the best from around the state to compete Regionally and Nationally. The pool is to small in Knoxville and all others in the state. Competition is another. Wanna play year round you say!!! How many times do you read in this message board and in the HS soccer boards about "burnout"? Or HS is so important to the social development of kids? Like I said in my thread earlier..."It is also hard to compete at that level when people actually think the highest level of competition in TN is high school soccer. Take any HS team, girls or boys, to Regionals and see how many games you keep under double digits." Some BIG clubs west of the Mississippi has outlined that if you want to play on the clubs TOP team...you don't play HS. I talked to my old team about this three years ago. You would have thought they would hang me. I told them I have NO problem with playing HS soccer. I understand completely WHY they want to do it. But I tried to educate them as to the pros and cons. In TN you can't play most of the TOP teams in Region 3 because while we play HS in the fall, all others are playing CLUB!!! I threw out there in one thread last year that TN misses some of the best showcases in the fall because of this. Here we go again...this issue has to do with parents pride in walking the sidelines during a HS match with chest so far out it bursts buttons. They are wanting the attention from their kids accomplishment. It makes me sick!! I see so many dads budding up with HS coaches just so they can get their child playing time. The parent really thinks they are in the KNOW of soccer because they hang with the HS coach. Now come back to CLUB and that same child is NOT the star she was in HS and LOOK OUT!!! Let the games begin and now that player is on another team. In the past month I have had no less than four parents come to me and say "my child is a starter on the high school varsity, they were this and that...yada, yada yada". I tell them "so do I need to be calling the National Team Coach?" But again it is the parents who dictate this attitude. In closing I just got back from working the UNC Lady Tarheels team camp. Anson Dorrance spent two WHOLE coaches lectures on this. I am going to post a new topic on an email I am sending out to my parents. Look it over and see if it doesn't make sense. My GOSH did I write all of this? I have to much time on my hands. /biggrin.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":D" border="0" alt="biggrin.gif" />

Maybe I missed a thread or something. Has there been a rule inacted by TMSAA that says MS players cannot play club during the season? I don't think anyone is a member in Knoxville except the one Bean007 listed. I could be wrong but I don't know. Like I said earlier nearly every MS in Chattanooga area, south of Athens, had to give up the first part of club ball, August through mid-October, because they were not allowed to do both. They were members of TMSAA.

The rule regarding middle school soccer and club has always been that players could do BOTH. My players on GU13 to GU14 have done both for the last two years. Now in Chattanooga they basicaly shutdown club soccer in those age groups, GU13-GU14, during the fall because nearly, if not all, MS in that area are part of TMSAA or whatever governing body they have. We don't see any of those teams until middle October. In Knoxville very few, if any, are members and the league is not governed by TMSSA. So ALL players can do both club and MS. In HS all players listed on the Varsity Roster are NOT eligible to play club. They can practice with their club team and do nothing larger than 6v6 plus keepers. That makes it for all purposes 7v7. You can do small sided games within your team, but not against other teams. I got that straight from the main guys mouth when I pulled my teams together late September for a practice and team meeting. There are no guidlines as to how much you can practice either.