Parent/Coach Relationship

[dawgballfan]

Would be interested to hear how different coaches/administrators choose to handle friction with unhappy parents of the kids on their team .....

[icecold06]

playing time and game strategy will not be discussed with parents. PERIOD. let it be known up front

[FlatCreekJim]

playing time and game strategy will not be discussed with parents. PERIOD. let it be known up front

 

 

Playing time and game strategy IS NOT the parents concern. That is the coach's job. I just want to ensure that my children are treated fairly and in a descent manner. In my view coaches are like the CEO's of the team. If they chose to run it in the ground then it's THEIR job, livelihood, reputation and ultimately their legacy. If they destroy it they won't last long. I always looked at a coach as a mentor to his/her team. Not only should they have the knowledge and wisdom to win athletic contest, they should be an example to their team members and peers. I believe being a coach or mentor is the highest calling one can answer. Imagine the lives you influence and change for the better teaching life lessons through athletics!

[icecold06]

playing time and game strategy will not be discussed with parents. PERIOD. let it be known up front

 

 

Playing time and game strategy IS NOT the parents concern. That is the coach's job. I just want to ensure that my children are treated fairly and in a descent manner. In my view coaches are like the CEO's of the team. If they chose to run it in the ground then it's THEIR job, livelihood, reputation and ultimately their legacy. If they destroy it they won't last long. I always looked at a coach as a mentor to his/her team. Not only should they have the knowledge and wisdom to win athletic contest, they should be an example to their team members and peers. I believe being a coach or mentor is the highest calling one can answer. Imagine the lives you influence and change for the better teaching life lessons through athletics!

i agree with you 110% although playing time and strategy shouldnt be discussed coaches need to realize that they are dealing with other people's children now if a child is being mistreated then the parents have every right to express their concerns and opinions

[oldngivout]

Sad fact is, that the coach usually plays the best players, regardless of fairness.

 

I have experienced this with my children, and see it happen every day with others. From pee-wee to the pros, coaches play the best. Late to practice or no hustle in rec ball, all the way to convicted felons in the pros, the players with the skill to perform are the ones on the field or court. If a parent complains about their child's time, you can usually bet they are not the best one on the team. Just not human nature to withhold the players with the most skill in favor of fairness. I know favoritism is an issue also, but be one of the best on the team and you will play, a lot. One of life's lessons that you learn early on and never forget.

[Dragonmaster]

i start the first booster club meeting telling the parents that I will treat their child like I would treat my child. I then tell them I a sure their child would start on any team they coached. if starting is important to them coach a team.....My two bits...

[littlerock]

What parents see as unfair or unethical treatment is a lot different now than it used to be. A lot of times, parents will make that claim, but it's really just about a coach getting on their kid or not playing them enough.

[seriously]

This is quite the interesting thread and certainly not one that is exclusive to girls basketball ..... it seems to transend all athletic programs from the high school level down. I have noticed the word "mistreat" being used regarding this topic. I would say that the definition of "mistreatment" varies from person to person, parent to parent. I suppose the range of meanings probably go from simply not playing a kid to the other end of the spectrum and crossing the line where there may be some type of physical assault of a player. Now, I think we would all agree that if a coach puts his/her hands on a player in an angry fashion with the intention of physical harm, then that is without question mistreatment and the coach should be dealt with in an appropriate fashion, perhaps even being fired. On the other hand, if the coach simply chooses to not play someone for valid reasons, then that is another story all together. In my opinion, and I know every case is different, not being played is not the same as being mistreated or not being treated fairly. High school athletics is not the same as Jr Pro where everyone pays their money, gets a colored t-shirt, and is guaranteed to play as much as everyone else, regardless of skill level. Parents seem to get the two confused. There are people who want to do away with all tournament teams and mvp's for fear that some other player will get there feelings hurt because they didn't get an award. The last time I checked, this was American, land of the free and home of the brave ...... and, home of those who succeed when they work their tail-ends off. I dare say that in many cases, the kids who are excelling are the ones who are putting in the most time and working the hardest in practice and the offseason. (again, I realize there are exceptions in all cases) Playing any sport at the high school level is a privilege, not a right! If someone is not getting playing time or receiving some kind of award, it may very well be because someone else is working harder than them, not because a coach has it out for them or their parents. As someone said earlier, any coach worth their salt is gonna play the best players they have, period.

[Purple & Gold Standard]

My oldest son played at Obion Central for Darren Bowling and started for three of those years....When he had his last football banquet as a senior he had to introduce me to four of his coaches....That's how much I meddled in the coaches business...Don't attribute that to not being involved...Two and 1/2 of those years I lived in Chattanooga and only missed two or three of his games in all....Parents are killing programs now...They feel like since they are a president of a booster club or grille hamburgers before games or paint stripes on a football field they have a say in what a coach calls on 3rd and 2 from his own 45 yard line late in the game or which player (usually their son) should be playing in critical situations during a game...The best coaches out there don't give a flying flip what the parents say and run their own program...I have much respect for the guys and women coaches that can pull that off nowadays...

[bkbfan30]

playing time and game strategy will not be discussed with parents. PERIOD. let it be known up front

 

 

Playing time and game strategy IS NOT the parents concern. That is the coach's job. I just want to ensure that my children are treated fairly and in a descent manner. In my view coaches are like the CEO's of the team. If they chose to run it in the ground then it's THEIR job, livelihood, reputation and ultimately their legacy. If they destroy it they won't last long. I always looked at a coach as a mentor to his/her team. Not only should they have the knowledge and wisdom to win athletic contest, they should be an example to their team members and peers. I believe being a coach or mentor is the highest calling one can answer. Imagine the lives you influence and change for the better teaching life lessons through athletics!

 

Being a former HS coach we use to implement a contract with the players that had to be signed by the player and their parents before they could play-The contract was nothing more than our rules of the team and how we were to act as a student-athlete-our last rule was that as a coach I will talk openly with the parents about anything BUT playing time-if the parent wanted to bring this up or continue to discuss it in its many ways and forms then their child would be suspended from the team until mom/dad could grow up and let me do my job-if their was a second offense by same parent(s) then the student was dismissed Iwill have you know that I NEVER had an issue with this and I believe it was because on the front end the parents saw me as approachable and would talk to them but also knew not to disscuss what I do as a coach just like they would not want me to operate or tell them how to operate if they were a doctor.

 

On the other hand if there is DOCUMENTED PROOF (key words) of abuse then the parents have every right to confront the coach with an administrator and documented proof of abuse

[dirkdiggler]

This has been a great thread. I hope more people post 'cause I'm interested in hearing what more parents say.

 

As a parent I've never understood how other parents talk badly about the coach, especially in front of their own kids. There is absolutely nothing positive that can come about from this. I know the good coaches like to teach there kids about life...well, some of the parents could use the same lessons. So if the boss of a company isn't to your liking, complain long enough and he'll be fired? Doesn't work like that. Teach the kids to adjust...that's what life is about.

 

My kids no longer play but like to watch still. They quit playing when they realized they were passed by other players in the talent level and were mainly going to be on the bench full time. They weighed the pros and cons of being a practice player and decided they'd take different avenues with their spare time.

 

Like someone else said...the reality is the players that are better will get most of the playing time. Why should it be any different?

[seriously]

great stuff ..... every high school coach should do this