"Excuse me. I'm gonna take my first step towards the Hall of Fame." - Willie Mays Hays
"Think classy, you'll be classy." - Crash Davis
"Charlie, here comes the deuce, and when you speak of me speak well." - Crash Davis
"The rose goes in the front big guy." - Crash Davis
"Well, I believe in the soul, the c*ck, the p*ssy, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days." - Crash Davis
"Well, Nuke's scared because his eyelids are jammed and his old man's here. We need a live...is it a live rooster? We need a live rooster to take the curse off Jose's glove and nobody seems to know what to get Millie or Jimmy for their wedding present. Is that about right? We're dealing with a lot of sh*t." - Crash Davis
"Okay, well, uh...candlesticks always make a nice gift, and uh, maybe you could find out where she's registered and maybe a place-setting or maybe a silverware pattern. Okay, let's get two! Go get 'em." - Larry the coach to Crash's last statement