Lance

Okay - it is a big week in the IMAC and I know just what is missing - A good frog joke, so here goes (PS - this one is especially for mwtfan) A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a Princess, I'll stay with you and do *Anything* you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The boy said, "Look, I'm a computer programmer. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool." MWTFAN - A talking frog is really cool - now that's funny

Statman - how is your girl doing? Hope to catch you somewhere along the way.

JC FAN - YEAH. Glad you get it - (I can imagine what the newbies are thinking about my frogs). mwtfan - throw in a couple of steaks and I smell a reunion in our future. Stormy - settle down - it's early Thunder360 - you are as full of crap as I am - just not as entertaining - but keep trying. MOBUCK - How can you start a thread and spend most of your time hiding. Have fun IMAC.

You are correct mwtfan - I'm checking in from time to time, but I have nothing to add. You are correct - WAY BORING WITHOUT ME. Of course, it's way boring when you know everything. You have been somewhat quiet this year as well. I hope to check out your Trojans soon. In the meantime, I guess we leave the smack to Mobuck, Stormy, and Thunder360 - but the three of them added together equal the opposite of Lance. With that said - I know the IMAC readers are depressed without me so I leave them with a crazy frog joke: A new study shows that licking the sweat off of a frog cures depression. The downside is that the minute you quit licking, the frog becomes depressed again --- now that's funny. I'm watching mwtfan.

I guess so, with a cute young frog going off to college /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />

Statman - what's fun about that. How can we sell tickets without controversy. It's like the whole Kobe Bryant / Artest incident. We got to push up the ratings. I kow what you mean. No since crying over spilt milk. I wish I could offer some words of wisdom, but I think I'm about out. However, in taking about RULES - I could come up with one last frog joke. Frogs went to college to play softball where the Rules Board of Director made the following presentation. To be eligible, we only have one rule here he says. All boy frogs will stay away from girl frogs dormatory and all girl frogs will stay away from boy frogs dormatory. The first time you get caught is a $20 penalty and slap on the hand - a second infraction will cost you $60 and you cannot start the following game - and third occurrence will cost you $180 and one game suspension. Any questions? After a few minutes, one of the frogs asked - How much is a season pass? Moral - it's not so much the intent of the rule but rather how we wish to interpret it. Not my funniest joke - but hopefully lightens the moment (and sells a few tickets). Tough loss Lady Chiefs.

mwtfan - statman I've been reading the thread "TSSAA member pleading ignorance". They are letting Reed have it on there regarding the controversy of your game. I knew the rule was pick up where you leave off and I certainly wouldn't want to be taking the field unless I had full understanding of the rule. However, it is rumored that both coaches were told that if they didn't get 2 innings in, the game would restart. What is your understanding of what both coaches new before the start and how the game ultimately had to be played from where it left off? Did Cherokee play under protest or have they since protested - or chalking this up to lesson learned? Either way - tough way to be eliminated. All Lance can say is WOW. This situation is even more amazing than me.

I'm sorry mwtfan - I thought you knew Donnie. He is great guy another softball junkie. If I get a chance, I will introduce the two of you. As for newbutold - why you call us out Sylvia? I don't go around telling people that your daughter plays third at East now do I. LANCE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY. Whitney Leon - enjoyed watching the East game with you. If I had a "dang ball", I'd give it to you /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" /> Glad for rainout. Hopefully, I can make Thursday's game. Steaks mwtfan and I will hook you up with Donnie

Statman - enjoyed meeting you and spending time with you and Donnie. It has been a long and fun run. Tell your daughter that I'm a big fan and wish her well in her post secondary pursuits. MWTFAN - as usual - great to see you. I enjoyed your daughter after the game as well. She actually gave me a hug. Normally, she is cracking on me. I'm going to miss IMAC as we knew it.

Lance - once again, you are the man. How do you continue to do it? Defies man's capacity to understand. I mean predicting IMAC is one thing, but to come up with two more crazy frog jokes. Impossible

Statman - I'll be looking for you tonight. A frog walks into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender says - are you a frog cause we don't serve frogs here. Frog goes down the street and catches next bar and once again orders a drink. Bartender says - are you a frog cause there is a sign outside that clearly states that we don't serve frogs here. Frog finds a third bar and same treatment once again. Frog walks back to the first bar where he sees a piece of rope on the floor at the door. He wraps the rope into a knot around himself and frays it on both ends. He walks in and orders a drink. Bartendender ask - are you a frog for which the frog responds --- I'm a-frayed knot. Afraid not - that's funny. TONIGHT'S IMAC DISTRICT MATCHUP Jefferson vs West There is an old saying in sports that suggest it is tough to beat the same team 3 times. Lance has once again been amazing this year, but twice I have picked the Trojans and twice they have been defeated by Jeff. Jefferson played well last night and put up runs on the best pitcher in East Tennessee. I want to say that I'm a believer, but then you have last nights game - how does Jeff get off the mat after last nights heart-breaking loss after seemingly having it in hand. That just drains the life right out of you. If anyone can put it back together - it's Leon; however, just can't beat the same team 3 straight times - not in the highly talented and equitable IMAC. Lance's Loser: Jefferson East vs Cherokee There is an old saying in sports that suggest it is tought to beat the same team 3 times. And who in this conference thinks they can beat Gilbert 3 times in one year. Impossible. Improbable. Heck - I don't even think she has given up an earned run to Lady Canes this year -- or at least it has been a couple of errors that cost them. I know Marbles gave up an unimaginable amount of runs to Jeff last night but I wouldn't want to be playing the ULTIMATE WARRIOR tonight. No way Lady Canes. No way to beat her 3 straight times. No way as she is on emotional high from last nights come from behind surprise. No body in America would pick you tonight which is precisely why I do. THAT OLD SAYING IS JUST A BUNCH OF BUNK. Lance's Loser: Cherokee I hope this is my final pick. I have had loads of IMAC fun, but alas I have run my course. Out of jokes - out of power - out of entertaining things to say. GO IMAC

IMAC TOURNEY (I usually don??™t predict after District Tourney starts, but this is probably my last year and since I have been unmasked, I may be running short of super power) but here goes: Cherokee ??“ Jefferson Whitney Gilbert vs Whitney Leon ??“ This one could go 12 innings with no one scoring and then I say, let those two arm wrestle for it. The Red, White, and Blue continue to surprise the amazing Lance and certainly a victory tonight would do it as well. Chief Gilbert will rally the tribe for one last assault on Spring Fling and getting out of the District may be the toughest battle between here and there. When you think of Whitney, you think of ???Marbles Gilbert???, but two great years from sophomore sensation Whitney Leon is evident that she wants the baton passed to her. But since this isn??™t the 800 relay, don??™t look for it to pass tonight. Lady Pats have surprised me all year and Cherokee finds scoring runs extremely difficult. A Lady Pat win wouldn??™t be shocking, but neither is it probable. Lance??™s Loser: Jefferson East ??“ West Talk softly and carry a big stick and both of these got plenty of that. No smack talking tonight and both poised to put up large quantities of runs. Trojans have sputtered all season and though you are not sure what you are going to get on any given night, they have played well as of late and of course a big victory over talented Unicoi. East comes staggering in the tournament with a measly record of 24-3. They maybe stumped their toe last week, but after the profanity flies and you get the lights turned on, you are ready to break something ??“ tonight it will be break out. I look for high scoring affair and although, West a little advantage as they utilize more speed and play smaller ball, East has more power and potential to fly it out of the park. I love this pitching matchup as well. Watson one of my all time favorites and the ever steady Rachael Wilmoth. They two girls just go out and find a way. Both will need some help from the girls behind them. Lance??™s Loser: West

I hope the groan wasn't at my final crazy frog joke of the year. But alas poor Urick, those are not helicopters hovering, but rather the witness of strong circular clouds - some might even mistake for a tornado, but then you realize that your storm break is really the eye of the storm and the circular motion and high wind is the back end of a hurricane. Just when you think that you withered the wind, a high velocity storm surge destroys that which remaines. Great year IMAC. This conference has a great chance to make Spring Fling again. I say, let's send two.

I hope we can enjoy district tourney as rain threatens, but regardless - one final frog joke is in order. I call this Kermit Jagger (Mic's frog) A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack (Patti). So he says, 'Ms Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy equipment and start a new softball program. Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow for which the frog responds - $20,000. The teller asks his name and the frog says his name is Kermit Jagger and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $20,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need some collateral to secure the loan. She asks if he has anything that he can use as collateral. The frog says, `Sure, I have this,' and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about 2 cm tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, `There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $20,000. And he wants to use this knick-knack elephant as collateral.' She holds up the tiny pink elephant and says, 'I mean, what the heck is this?' So the manager looks back at her and says, `It's a knick-knack Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone.' Go CANES!

Maybe a little rest Statman. My brain is overheating. East wins first seed and is rewarded by playing West at West - (if Trojans survive the first round). I'll ponder statman.