Otis B. Driftwood

Whelp... ah reckun dat dem thar Grayse Krischun keeudz 're purdy durn tuff but ole' Otis haz uh fealun dat dem thar Es-Oh-Are bois 're gunna beet dat thar pryvut skewl. De "Fore Horsmun" 're gunna ryde uhgin an' ruhn uhp 'n dayown Grayse uhnteal dey kry fer mursy! Es-Oh-Are= For-dee Grayse= Twenny Ah wunna heer y'awl saye Es-Oh-Are! Es-Oh-Are!

Otis kungardjewlayts dem thar Tygurs fer uh hyooge weeun. Ah reckun ah gawttuh teeup mah hayut too dem thar bois frum Rokwud. Butt Otis iz thankun beeug pikchur wif de reegun tytul. Git redee fer dem thar Eeegulz boiz! Mayk Es-Oh-Are prowd! Otis haz spokin.

Ah mee-uss dat thar monkee...

Otis mhay hav votid fer Jorg Dub-yuh... butt Otis haz two diz-uh-gree wif de Prez-uh-dunt heer bout dem thar Es-Oh-Are bois. Ah reckun dem thar Gren Whavs 're gunna bee reddee fer dem thar Rokwud bois. Otis haz spokin.

Howe uh-bowt Otis gits dis heer thred bak awn topuk? Otis sez Oluvur Sprangs iz gunna beet dem thar MackMeeun Sentrul bois Twenny-Won too Sevun. Otis haz spokin.

I reckun dem thar Yeller Talez ayn't gawt dat thar fyr een 'em see-unce dat thar Dragun Wagun steem-roled 'em Fordee-Sevun too Nuttin'. Ole' Otis wuz havun uh bawl uhn-dur de Hy-Whay Fif-Tee-Ate Bree-udge lazt Fry-daye whin hee hurd dat thar skor! Otis sez, howevur, dat dem thar Yeller Talez 're gunna beet dem thar 'Dawgz Twenny-Ate too Fore-tean! Otis haz spokin.

Ah reckun dat dem thar Rokwud folk 're purdy durn tuff... but dey ayn't frum Es-Oh-Are! Dem thar Es-Oh-Are bois 're gunna bee purdy tuff fer enne-bod-ee too beet. Sew Rokwud... git red-ee fer uh gud ole' fashund dawg-fite! De Es-Or-Are Na-shun iz cummun 'n fule forse! Lemme heer yew saye 'ES-OH-ARE! ES-OH-ARE!" ES-OH-ARE: Twenny-Won Rokwud: Twenny Otis haz spokin.

Knot dis yeer! /roflol.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":roflol:" border="0" alt="roflol.gif" />

Ah reckun dat dem thar Yeller Taylz 're gunna git keeuled bah dem thar Es-Oh-Are bois whin dey gottuh fase de Es-Oh-Are nachun! Otis haz spokin... (Bah de whay... ah beyut y'awl meeussd Otis!) /roflol.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":roflol:" border="0" alt="roflol.gif" /> Lemme heer yew saye "ES-OH-ARE! ES-OH-ARE!"

Klos enuff...

Hay thar, kin ennybuddy tale me whut Midwhay luks lyke dis yeer? TRANSLATION: Hey there, can anybody tell me what Midway looks like this year? (Figured I'd translate since only one person on this site can understand me anyway, hahaha.)

Otis iz won sayad man... Ah hayte sayun dis butt hattz awf two Kolefeeuld fer beetun' us. Otis ain't sheddun kno teerz cuz he nos dat dem thar bois frum de Sawth 're gunna bee purty durn tuff neckst yeer. Gud luk Kolefeeuld... y'all'z gunna nead it...

Whelp, sense mah Es-Oh-Are bois gawt beet bah dem thar Kolefeeuld bois, ah gawttuh geev dem sum credut whar credut'z dew... dey schut downe dem thar bois frum de Sawth. Ah tale yew whut tho... dem thar Hamtum bois're big! Ah'd lyke two sea uh teem frum reegun too weeun stayte... ah jest down't thank dat dis iz gunna bee de yeer... Hamtun- Twenny-Sevun Kolefeeuld- Foretean

Monkeeboi'z bak! Thangz ain't bin de saym sense dat thar monkeeboi wuz gawn.

Kornfeeuld... Thur-dee-fyve Grase Krisschun... Sevun Es-Oh-Are... Twenny Kosbee... Nyn-tean Hamtun... Twenny-Sevun Ohnyduh... Twayulve Yewnaykuh 'n Huramun'z two klos two kawl.