I'd like to hear from some of you soccer moms & dads out there whose daughters don't get to play much for their high school team. I'm trying to deal with my daughter's frustrations at not getting much playing time, and she is frustrated because while she is one of the better players on her competitive team, she is a freshman in high school and is only getting to play a handful of minutes per game on average, and she hasn't played at all in several games. She feels, as do I, that she is better than some of the starters, and a couple of other parents on the team have said the same.
Some of you have doubtlessly seen a "parent's code of conduct" that tells us not to sideline coach, etc. and suggests that after the game we tell our child that they played well. But what if they didn't play? How do i make the point to my daughter that she is doing a good job when it seems to her, based on not getting to play, like she's done poorly? I've encouraged her as much as I can, but the lack of playing time has her down and her confidence is pretty low as well.
I think it's hard for kids coming from the club soccer envirionment to adjust to the way high school coaches run their team. I've heard several stories about how high school coaches choose their teams and award playing time. Sometimes it's based on age/grade, or politics, or just the plain 'ol buddy system.
How do you explain to a child that the reason they aren't playing isn't because of their ability, but instead because of some other reason that we can't explain because it makes no sense other than "that's the way things are"?