Slyder

I was scouting a game out in a rural community and heard, "yuins yank that tater out agin the feed store now ya here!" A comical saying ccriders is use to hearing is "let me see your hands and slooooowly get out of your vehicle." A classic saying of Riverdaleman is, "make that a biggy size!" Did I read where his son hit a homerun earlier this week! Congratulations!!!

Riverdaleman, although the resemblance is uncanny, E5 does not look good in a toga! And thats all I really care to say about that. David: It was a XXL inner tube for the ocean. He claims that his HMO paid for it when he was hospitalize for 'roids after a bad plate of breakfast burritos and 4 lattes.

I know I will catch a lot of grief over this thread! And I know most of you think of E5 as an arrogant, vertically challenged, Little Caesars Sign Twirling, breakfast burrito eating, tommy john surgery promoting loud mouth. And maybe he is, but I want to thank him for his generosity towards my youngest childs spring break trip. I appreciate the loan of the equpiment needed to make that trip special. SO even though you could have discounted my value meal at Hardees (I know that was you), I do appreciate the generosity that you shown! Maybe you should try that approach more... CC needs a good mentor.

E5, I don't know what you heard about me and decomposing corpes, but I've not been convicted or anything!!! Put a 5lb bag of lyme in the turtle shell, a 20ib bag of kitty litter and cover w/ sports dirt. Do not over tamp! My 7yr old nephew ruptured a rotator cuff Saturday after his 3rd relief appearance. How can I convince my brother to go on have the surgery and do tommy johns and maybe knee surgery while he is on the mend?

In10city... Nice thought on germantown kid with the 12 fingers, but I have seen where he has been having arm trouble and his elbow is swollen 3X the size so EVERYBODY knows that tommy john surgery is emiment. He will definitely be a pitcher. Just ask E5! Good question but remember I am a scout. I have not made a lot of money yet (the kids are not durable these days). But lucky for me my AIG bonus check arrived and I can survive another year or two!

you know I have to weigh in on this one! 1) Taping the softball between his fingers is a GREAT method of stretching our those fingers. I would add this to the suggestion. Get some white vasoline and rub it on the webbing between his fingers. It softens the skin, helps cover up any tears or scaring and lets little bubba know, that baseball and vasoline go together. Its how CC got his full pitching ride to Johnston Reformatory Junior College. 2) I am coming to scout the Silver Division 5u World Series this weekend. Looking at that kid from Germantown thats a switch hitting centerfielder that has an extra thumb on each hand. Called the big club about him yesterday. Think he can be a pitcher one day. 3) E5, the grunt bars were my idea. I also suggested putting a bowl full of bullets in the john so you have something to bite down on when the breakfast burrito gets lodged wrong. 4) The only reason I was asking about the burrito... I was going to stop and get a couple for you for breakfast at the World Series tourney this weekend. I know everyone brings you wings and a bib, but I was trying to be thoughful of you. 5) Was In10city taxed on his stimulus check????

Yea, your right. I cant help myself. My vast knowledge and expertise flows from me like an Obama stimulus package. I will stick to inventions, music, and scouting. I do disagree with the odor issue in relation to CC. Ever catch a wiff of his breath after a brat w/ kraut and nacho cheese doritos? Rather clean up your coaching shorts after a failed attempt to relinquish yourself from the breakfast burrito, than to smell that! Speaking of, which is your favorite breakfast burrito? I like the sardine and onion burrito at Denny's.

In does my heart good when I read a post from someone that "gets it"! I applaud you. I will attempt to answer your questions. And while I am not a paid professional in the sport like CCriders and E5 claim to be, I did sleep in a Holiday Express the other night. 1) If you are truly interested in making him a pitcher, a lefty is the way to go. I would not suggest breaking his arm, because as you stated the social workers will be coming around. I would tie his right hand down to the side of his diaper and skip some feeding times. We he gets very hunger, he will start learning to reach for his bottle with his left hand! I would tape his pinky and ring fingers together so he can start building strength in his baseball fingers. Although I did scout a big lefty at Mooreland Heights Tractor School who had nasty movement on his fastball after losing his index finger in hunting accident. Just a thought.... 2) As for building his speed, if he is -pitching I would worry about how fast he could run, but if your really want to make this an issue (dont over do your kid to early) I would make him run hills with a good dose of wieght loss pills such as stacker or 5hour energy drinks. Those are not illegal yet! 3) I would not worry about the diapers or smell! All the pitching coaches/coaches I know have very poor hygiene and are accustomed to pooh in the pants anyway. (E5 and CC come to mind) Its baseball! 4) Nike Shoes and Laces. Toddler 2 size is the smallest /sad.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":(" border="0" alt="sad.gif" /> 5) Forget college, go for being drafted out of High School. Donate to the Booster Clubs! 6) Tell the Social Workers its your religion! Works everytime!!!!! Good Luck to you. Once I get up and take a shower, I will send you the names of all the surgeons that do the tommy john surgery for kids 10 and under. A must for any prospect!

My suggestion for the moisture issue and for E5 and his breakfast burrito infatuation is a product called Depends. They are adult diapers that can be worn under nylon coaches pants. And only the trained eye can see that your are wearing them. I have grown fond of them, particularly after a night of wings and adult beverages... why get up in the middle of the night when you dont have to? I am , however, concerned over the blueness in E5's legs. Being vertically challenged it would appear that circulation should not be a problem which makes me wonder if he has another health issue, that being the middle aged and married disease. Im concerned. Good to hear from you CC! I was curious, has either of your teams been wearing the new Nike Shoelaces? I understand the day glow orange laces helps a batter keep his weight back in the box and drive the hangin pitch another 70 feet! The blue laces are for the pitchers and adds velocity to the fastball. Nike has it together. So, Im helping my brother coach his 7 year old! He threw 2 innings the other day and at pitch count 118 his fastball still had some velo and at pitch count 121 his breaking pitch was not hanging! We are available for recruitment trips!

Gentlemen, and I use that term loosely. I've been a busy man! The scouting gig didn't last. Found a concession stand that served up fried bologna sandwiches and was eventually busted as a fraud. Tried my hand in the music industry but there is already a guy that sleeps till noon and walks around playing guitar in his underwear, so I invented a new baseball device that is sure to make me millions. Back in the day when I played baseball, my mom was always having trouble getting the stains out of my uniforms. You know how dirty an athlete will get while he makes a legend of himself! When I got into high school sports, the coaches were a lot more picky about keeping you uniforms clean. So... using my experience as a high school athlete, I invented a device to help keep your uniforms cleaner. Its a cloth (with your team colors) that you lay on the bench prior to sitting there for 7 innings! It keeps your uni's cleaner, and for an extra $15, I can add padding. This perk can help you avoid the medical condition that kept me from catching professionally. Would love to come watch ya'll play sometimes! The court order about me being in close proximity to middle schools will be expiring about tournament time. Until then! Slyder

Well goldurn, if'in I didnt boast on these boys nair a soul would! We aint worried none bout USJ or Trousdale coming after our Beta Club Prez cause coach fixed his John Deere for him for nutin, so he's indebited to Dalton High. I would enjoy a Sunday afternoon game agin Trousdale though. Trousdale hadnt lost to Dalton since coke was a nickle! I did make a mistake though, the dad of our 2B said he batted .179 and had 8 rbis last yer. My apologies to Buster and his good family

Dalton has really assembled a pretty potent team this year and think they have a chance of winning the state, and I am predicting an UNDEFEATED season. You read it here first. I believe the starting batting order to be this! C Jordan Beavers .231 0 7 2 SB's in 2007 2B Buster Crotcher .177 0 5 in 2007 1B Myles Truck .202 2 11 (should have been all district last year) P Kirkpatrick Smithers .281 3 12 ( 1-4 as pitcher/missed 1/2 the season to 3rd DUI) CF Tanner Smith (did not make team last year) 3B Casey Santana .122 0 3 (2 bunt singles in 2007) RF Bartholemew Winston Beta Club president SS Will Morgan A true freshman! LF up for grabs! pitching will be solid with Smithers as the ace, followed Jessie Dinks (1-7 6.12 era), and new comers Lefty Groves and Travis Mullhollan. We want USJ, Farragut, Bartlett! Bring it on!

It has been my experience, as a professional scout going on 3 years now and becoming more convincing each year, that you should force feed the player Ibuprofen and send him back to the mound. Do not talk about the knot, parents and players alike have a tendency to over react. If the kid is a freshman or sophomore, pitch him daily because when the knot erupts, surgery can have him back for at least his senior year. If he is a junior or senior you have to treat him more delicately because this injury could result in you losing some games and causing your winning percentage to fall. As a high school coach, you cannot have that. Therefore, think now and later on younger kids and think of the present with older kids. Lets face it, destiny puts kids in the big leagues, not talent, and if they have an injury...then destiny proves that this kid should working at the Sonic. The ONLY exception is if the kids parents have money and are big supporters to the program. Then you have to be more sensitive to the child and his injury. I think CCriders in having a seminar on that topic this summer. Hows the legs holding out this year E5??? Staying awake during your...um....baseball brainstorming sessions?

That works too. I have a tendency to get wordy

First, you have to have rabbitt ears that enables you to hear every comment from the moms and dads so you can effectively widen or shorten the strike zone as needed. Next is your eyesight. None is perferrable but farsighted is mandatory. Most umpires in the region have their eyes shut when the ball gets near the plate anyway. Thirdly you must be biased and a know-it-all by nature. An IQ of 60 is required but one over 80 tends to make you to analytical. The TSSAA has a great method of screening those applicants out. You have to fit into pants 3 waist sizes to small and 4 inches short. SO if you are built so as I (broad shouldered/athletic 6'3" 210lbs) and wear a 34" waist and an inseam of 34.... you must war a 31/30. You cannot be very good looking or you wouldn't be behind a mask! Lastly, your improvisional skills must be great. Dont read the rule book, wing it and make them up as you go, similiar to high school coaches. Hope this helps!

I've been scouting him since he was 3'7". He could be the real deal. Good velo and his breaking ball has depth. He has a hitch in his move to the plate from the stretch though...good baserunner could steal him blind. His feet and hands are huge, but the size 14 shoe on this kid is going to give him problems on his slide step home. He is draftable. Alot of upside

E5, CCriders, Riverdaleman and other esteemed posters. As I prepared another year of scouting area baseball talent for the organization, I would appreciate any leads you may throw my way. I am really interested in finding a player in the White County area. They have the best hot dogs in 7AAA. Lavergne has a decent corn dog, and Hillsboro has a heck reuben! Any potential athletes in this area is appreciated. No Riverdale players please, I have to watch my dessert in-take. I have a rule question that really needs to be answered. How many games in a row is it acceptable to have the same kid chase down foul balls and bombs? I think a local high school asst. coach put my nephews health in jeopardy last year as he chased down foul balls and homeruns until he ruptured a hip flexor chasing down a yak. He missed his senior night celebration to this injury! All shots at a scholarship/drafted were lost!!!! Can he sue? Can he be redshirted? Or is he done? We had another dad tell us that he was good enough to play at a high level. As a professional scout, I thought so too, but I am biased. Is he done or what?

Old Timer, you may be right. But I am still thinking that if enrolled in night classes at a college or you have signed with an agent you can play until age 21 or until your married. It something crazy like that. And it is physically impossible to pull your lip all the way over your head. PERIOD

E5, the rot you developed in Nam, didn't they just give you a shot and tell you to be more careful? If your lefthanded hindcatcher is getting that from dropping down to low and his knuckles are dragging the ground, could you not just dig out the right handed batters box and fix that? That also helps Riverdaleman out, now the 0-2 curve that is in the dirt is indeed a strike because it is at the knees to the righty! Slyder... problem solver!

Sir, I use to be that guy, the best player to stink. Thus is the reason I started the thread. I am all about over achieving mediocrity! And my self asteem is very high! E5, why are you picking on me? Im not whiney and it is not bad timing. If I do not defend myself, I could become a target like...like... Riverdaleman is. And I "believe" 20 year seniors are eligible to play their senior year, only if they are enrolled for a night class at an accredited state college or have already inked a deal with an agent. I will have to pull out my Professional Scout Handbook and will let you know. Good stuff guys

It sure is impressive R'man, to admit that you (umpires) do not know what a balk is. I had heard other people say that about umpires, but it is refreshing for someone to man up and admit it. I wanted to post this because I have read the negative comments about you, and do not believe all of them. I had overheard a comment about you not knowing your grass from the hole in the ground?? So, I don't know what kinda of grass I have in my yard. Big deal.

Its pretty easy to write about the guys that hit all the homeruns or strikes everyone out. Lets post the guys that go out when the game is out of hand and takes one on the chin for the team. My vote is Cooter Hatfield for the Buck Snort Owls. Pretty decent fastball... 70-72mph and is developing a curve and changeup. This 19year old junior has a NASTY running screwball, but it only works in the bullpen. He does not care about an earn run average and twice last year, held opponents scoreless for an entire inning. These are the unsung heros. Who does YOUR team have?

So E5's true identity is Bear Bryant? I am impressed

Now wait a minute, the only thing E5 is guilty of is poor hygiene! After a plate full of hot wings, hot wing sauce will stay on his chin(s) for days. The cussing is CCriders..he really slings pooh around. I really don't like to publicly correct other posters and I apologize. But a correction was warranted. Well, E5 does take too long to get to the mound to talk to his pitcher, but that is because his legs are short. And he had called me out several times for no apparent reason on this board. So maybe it is a good thing you are around to police him.

E5, I do not start trying to impress anyone until the ball season starts and I break out the black Knights of the Round Table shirt, khakis, my yankee hat and carrying my satchel around. And I only try to impress parents who are living their life through their kids high school baseball career. So I would appreciate you not making me out to be a fraud on these baseball boards. This hurts my feeling because I researched a lower limb rejuvenation surgery with Dr. Rey to aide you with your .... well.... height challenge. I lost a cousin, who had a a great chance at big time college basketball over his legs being to short and falling asleep while in the can. He was in a terrible accident in my parents half bath while fighting disentary. Riverdaleman! Congratulations on you being a moderator for the baseball boards. I hope this springboards your career to bigger and better things!