Baseball Etiquette and Questions for E5

[riverdaleman]

QUOTE(1moreDBmom @ Apr 3 2007 - 08:39 PM) 826429319[/snapback]There are times when BASEBALL should get delay of game penalties, I will certainly agree to that.... bout a week ago I screwed up my stats book royally because our own pitcher kept striking everybody out....3 up and 3 down for about 4 straight innings.....who can focus.... and what's the fun in that? I saw our right fielder picking daisies for his girlfriend! He was bored too! I got one inning completely missing from a game....probably all strike outs again.... I keep a book so I can stay focused....riverdaleman, is there anything at all a good umpire can do to liven up a slow game??? How bout waving one off and saying "toss that one again boy it was too slow the first time" Or " you step back off that mound again to look at the runner on 1st and you better go over there and kiss him or something. We tired of you making googlie eyes at him all night."

 

One of those could get the mound hoppin.

 

oh yes as an umpire there are many things you can do to liven the game up why just tuesday i did such a thing...pithcer pitches the ball...catcher reaches halfway into the other batters box to catch it and i call STRIKE!!!!!talk about getting some peoples attention...SWING THE BAT LOL

[Slyder]

Riverdaleman: If the batter check swings on strike three and the ball gets past the catcher, do you as the home plate ump yell, he did not go or yes he did? Do you say anything? If the runner takes off to first , do you automatically assume it was a swing and therefore a strikeout? And if he reaches first safely, do you bring him back because you said it was a ball and no swing? Do you ask for help after he is standing on first? What can a coach say to you that will get him tossed quicker than anything, is it about you or your family? If a kid hits a walk-off homer and misses home plate, do you call him out if the opposing catcher is the ONLY other possible person to see him miss it (because of the celebration)? What is the worst call you ever made? Was it on the field or was it ordering the seafood bar at Shoney's. How often do you get your eyes checked?

[riverdaleman]

as far as check swing that i didnt get ( i try and make that call instead of my partner) i will say yes he did or i will point to him if i am not sure and let the play continue on and when the play is over i will ask my partner....in over 10 year of umpiring i have only tossed 1 coach and that was in a coach pitch game 7 yr olds...the lead runner stopped i called time then the feilder throws the ball and havoc breaks with coaches telling their runners to run so i send them back and the coach pitcher is mad so i explain the ruling and he says somthing again, i repeated the rule he then told me to shut up ON MY FEILD lol and i said YOUR GONE after the game he apologized...IF THE CATCHER makes the appeal and i saw it i will call him OUT...STRIKES AND OUTS BABY THERE IS NO CLOCK IN BASEBALL!!!LOL....as far as the worst call i ever made...there were 2 of them one in rec ball and one in high school ball...the one in rec ball i called my son out at the plate and the catcher dropped the ball(oldest son when he was 13) i sold that call too with the ball on the ground and i didnt reverse it but i heard about it when i got home LOL...as far as the high school one...it was in the WARRIOR CLASSIC last year or the year before i was umping with DALE FORD and the runner from first went into second and took the SS out so i called the 2 outs but the SS was ion front of the bag so runner was legal coach was MAD and i let him gripe because he was right all i could say to him was saftey coach knowing i made a bad call...i just had my eyes checekd 2 weeks ago and i got some new glasses recieved them this past thursday..

[E5]

QUOTE(riverdaleman @ Apr 10 2007 - 10:51 AM) 826433896[/snapback]as far as check swing that i didnt get ( i try and make that call instead of my partner) i will say yes he did or i will point to him if i am not sure and let the play continue on and when the play is over i will ask my partner....in over 10 year of umpiring i have only tossed 1 coach and that was in a coach pitch game 7 yr olds...the lead runner stopped i called time then the feilder throws the ball and havoc breaks with coaches telling their runners to run so i send them back and the coach pitcher is mad so i explain the ruling and he says somthing again, i repeated the rule he then told me to shut up ON MY FEILD lol and i said YOUR GONE after the game he apologized...IF THE CATCHER makes the appeal and i saw it i will call him OUT...STRIKES AND OUTS BABY THERE IS NO CLOCK IN BASEBALL!!!LOL....as far as the worst call i ever made...there were 2 of them one in rec ball and one in high school ball...the one in rec ball i called my son out at the plate and the catcher dropped the ball(oldest son when he was 13) i sold that call too with the ball on the ground and i didnt reverse it but i heard about it when i got home LOL...as far as the high school one...it was in the WARRIOR CLASSIC last year or the year before i was umping with DALE FORD and the runner from first went into second and took the SS out so i called the 2 outs but the SS was ion front of the bag so runner was legal coach was MAD and i let him gripe because he was right all i could say to him was saftey coach knowing i made a bad call...i just had my eyes checekd 2 weeks ago and i got some new glasses recieved them this past thursday..

 

 

Hope you were kidding about the catcher asking for help. Does that not need to come from your partner?

 

The worst call I have seen you make was when your dog was sick and did not help you behind the plate...used your own eyes.

 

The best call I have seen you make was at the buffet...I was told your four favorite words in the english language are "all you can eat." Any truth to that statement?

 

I think your eyesight is fine. I was taught that you should look through the bars and not at them.

[riverdaleman]

QUOTE(E5 @ Apr 10 2007 - 11:32 AM) 826433974[/snapback]Hope you were kidding about the catcher asking for help. Does that not need to come from your partner?

 

The worst call I have seen you make was when your dog was sick and did not help you behind the plate...used your own eyes.

 

The best call I have seen you make was at the buffet...I was told your four favorite words in the english language are "all you can eat." Any truth to that statement?

 

I think your eyesight is fine. I was taught that you should look through the bars and not at them.

 

No my partner is not watching the plate i am so when the appeal is made ) in this case by the catcher) i will call the out

 

 

as far as my plate with out the dog was i missing pitches by calling strikes that werent strikes or balls that were strikes becasue if i miss i hope to miss with a strike!!!!

 

 

all you can eat is our motto in our house with 4 boys plus me LOL

 

 

i have learned to work around the bars now i am getting better ...i think

[E5]

Sorry it has taken so long to reply. I have been making the rounds at various ball parks giving pre-game and post-game lectures. On one particular trip to the south and east of the Boro, I tried to get free golf lessons during a rain delay...but failed and don't know how to approach this fella about not seeing or meeting my need. All he knows about the game comes from me. But he runs around with some Fall Ball "legend" that really gets under my skin....I apologize...I digress.

 

I have been away doing what the Navy calls the "Fast Track Training" for their SEAL program. I didn't quite make the final cut. I was beat by less than a point by a young man from Warren County. Had I known this was not a USO entertainment outfit, I would have been better prepared. I got to where I could balance a beach ball on my nose while swimming across the pool at the local Y and had grown found of raw fish. This Navy SEALS outfit really help our country.

 

Now to the questions:

 

Solomon,

 

Have your wife wear a hat cocked to the side like most lefties do and have her behave peculiar when she cans. This may help in the NurtureNature realm. As you may not know, I have had extensive experience in "Paint chip eaters" Biology and kind of natural whiz. You may want to go to a surgeon and have them connect some tubing at about L3 for the baby to begin on the Rotator Cuff. This particular vertabrae is the best becuase the baby can change posititons to work on the five arm slots.

 

the one,

 

Great to hear from your short bus ridin self. Hey I am going to Sparta next week. Should I go thru Memphis, Chattanooga, Bowling Green of L-town to get there? You did have some great imput on the coaches getting noticed. But what is a dickie? Visited our old stomping grounds the other day and the scar from you kicking the brick is still there. We need to talk and compare notes. I am now thinking we can teach our hitters to hit sidearm, backside, trusting their hands, while putting backspin on ground balls. Need your help working out the drills.

 

In10city,

 

Don't know much about you but the suggestion on the signal marathon is a great way to make people think your in the game while wowing a scout. REDSMAN and I had a contest during a 6th and 7th place play-in game that went into the 50's in terms of touches.

 

CC has been quiet lately. Wonder if Papa M put the gag order on him like Dippin Johnny goes through Copehangen.

 

R'daleman, I apologize to you. I saw someone worse than you the other day. Don't go on suicide watch if the Pats win tonight.

 

Hope to see everybody at the parks this year. Our season with our 5U team is just getting going so I will be in and out. This team gives me 5 summer "travel teams" that I am the Head Coach.

 

Yours truly,

 

E5 (49 days till I am a SEAL) Has anyone seen or heard from "backside Bill?"

[Slyder]

Whoa, a SEAL? Whats that stand for? Hows the legs falling asleep on the can problem you have been burdened with. Could that keep you out of the SEALs? I think it is a disability and you should be able to park anywhere you want too.

[E5]

QUOTE(Slyder @ Apr 12 2007 - 05:45 PM) 826436144[/snapback]Whoa, a SEAL? Whats that stand for? Hows the legs falling asleep on the can problem you have been burdened with. Could that keep you out of the SEALs? I think it is a disability and you should be able to park anywhere you want too.

 

 

Slyder,

 

Your OK! You are the first guy to ask about my legs. The wet suit helped and they gave me a chair short enough so that my feet hit the ground and it helped. My neck is sore now. They had to push me in the water to get me off the boat. I had been trained not to perform without a raw fish...like at Sea World and I guess I am like Pavlov's dog now. Well got to go prepare for this weekends lecture at a baseball clinic. My topic is "Hiiting Happy Gilmore Style, Incoporating the Toe Tap."

[manofmanywives]

I talked to 'backside Bill' the other day. He had trouble 'seeing' things my way.

[perfectseason]

Dear E5,

 

Longtime reader, first time writer.

 

For weeks I have been reading your posts in amazement of your knowledge of the game. Not necessarily at the high level of knowledge but more so the opposite. I was in attendance during your rainout lecture this past week and honestly I learned more watching the water puddle up around the visitor dugout than from your presentation. That being said I would like to let everyone know that the golf lessons you were getting from my professional playing partner and friend would have been much more beneficial to you had he been able to demonstrate the proper swing technique using an adult set of clubs rather than your "KIDS USA" starter set you pulled from the trunk of your PT Cruiser. I was impressed however with your initials "E5" embossed on the side of the carry bag for your 5 clubs and understand your need for the shorter flexible shafts. From the form I seen you display that night, it was quite evident that you have never really taken a swing at anything much less actually made contact with a ball of any type. I thought he showed tremendous patience and resolve just trying to get away from you much less help you with your game. I've heard stories that you hold the record at Horton for longest drive backwards off a par 3 there, is that true?

 

Also, I happen to know the Fall Ball Legend you speak of and think he perhaps may be one of the most overlooked talents ever to stalk the foul lines. His ablitilies to take players that have spent years taking "lessons" and playing for real coaches at the middle school and high school level and break all their bad habits to triumph in early to mid-October is unprecedented in this area. And he is one of the most humble human beings you will ever meet. And he does all that while fighting a disability that he would never share with anyone. I don't see /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" /> how you could not get along with him.

 

Keep up the good work as I always enjoy reading your wisdom. I hope the Navy will provide you with a waterproof laptop upon your activation and service so you can stay in touch with the true fans of the game.

 

And please pass on to your friend "manofmaywives" that I ran into Backside the other day and I can understand why he doesn't see everything the way he thinks everyone should.

[E5]

QUOTE(perfectseason @ Apr 12 2007 - 11:39 PM) 826436423[/snapback]Dear E5,

 

Longtime reader, first time writer.

 

For weeks I have been reading your posts in amazement of your knowledge of the game. Not necessarily at the high level of knowledge but more so the opposite. I was in attendance during your rainout lecture this past week and honestly I learned more watching the water puddle up around the visitor dugout than from your presentation. That being said I would like to let everyone know that the golf lessons you were getting from my professional playing partner and friend would have been much more beneficial to you had he been able to demonstrate the proper swing technique using an adult set of clubs rather than your "KIDS USA" starter set you pulled from the trunk of your PT Cruiser. I was impressed however with your initials "E5" embossed on the side of the carry bag for your 5 clubs and understand your need for the shorter flexible shafts. From the form I seen you display that night, it was quite evident that you have never really taken a swing at anything much less actually made contact with a ball of any type. I thought he showed tremendous patience and resolve just trying to get away from you much less help you with your game. I've heard stories that you hold the record at Horton for longest drive backwards off a par 3 there, is that true?

 

Also, I happen to know the Fall Ball Legend you speak of and think he perhaps may be one of the most overlooked talents ever to stalk the foul lines. His ablitilies to take players that have spent years taking "lessons" and playing for real coaches at the middle school and high school level and break all their bad habits to triumph in early to mid-October is unprecedented in this area. And he is one of the most humble human beings you will ever meet. And he does all that while fighting a disability that he would never share with anyone. I don't see /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" /> how you could not get along with him.

 

Keep up the good work as I always enjoy reading your wisdom. I hope the Navy will provide you with a waterproof laptop upon your activation and service so you can stay in touch with the true fans of the game.

 

And please pass on to your friend "manofmaywives" that I ran into Backside the other day and I can understand why he doesn't see everything the way he thinks everyone should.

 

 

So typical on many levels. First time poster posting at near midnight in the cloak of darkness hiding from his significant other. Publicly bashing a recongnized expert in his field. (Now I know how Robert Einstein felt when he was working on Theory of Relativitity and inventing Trigomometry). Bragging on some insiginificant "perfect season." Bringing my golf game into forum. My clubs may be outdated, short, and a bit ragged....but my swing is worse than they are. Yes there is a plaque for longest and straightest backward drive on a par three. If memory serves me, I ended up with a 7 on that hole. If you know this "manofmanywives" fellow, tell him to call me and we'll do lunch.

 

Back to baseball. I have sent a letter to President Bush resigning my Navy SEAL position. Got an invitation to interview for a bullpen coach job with Rusty's Hair Removal 6 & 7 yr. old Coach Pitch Team. I need some help on my attire. Do I go in full uniform with shin guards, a clip board, and two balls in my back pockets...khakis and a polo with the "Perfect Season" logo....commando style with jeans, a white T-shirt and navy blazer....or the Master's shirt I was given when I helped Zach Johnson with his swing?

 

Why do I go coach 6 & 7 yr olds you ask. Part of the benefits is hair removal and free hair cuts and their color scheme and logo on the T-shirt is appealing. I have nose and back hairs that are long enought to restring tennis rackets and catcher's mitts and the little misses has to get wire cutters to trim them.

 

Gotta go, yours E5.

[ccriders25]

Gag order? No. I believe the thread is "...Questions for E5". Well, none of the questions were being answered, so I figured why ask. I was especially disappointed when Solomon's question was not answered promptly. That may be the best question asked/ answered so far.

 

That being said, you've completely redeemed yourself. I am very impressed with your latest activities, especially the SEAL training. (I've always thought of you as more of a penguin, but whatever)

 

I do have one question for the Guru. How does one go about picking signs from the opposing coach. (please consider sun position, multiple sign givers, and location of coach- either 3rd base box or dugout).

 

Glad to have you back

 

CC