Has anyone seen or heard from Slyder?

[E5]

How typical of you Slyde Man...someone starts a thread ONLY asking of your whereabouts and now you turn it into a coaching thread. I do agree that you are never too early for Tommy John surgery...disagree on the odor thing. Hot day, nylon coaching suit, and the remains of a breakfast burrito smells like Goat Mouth Conner.

[Slyder]

Yea, your right. I cant help myself. My vast knowledge and expertise flows from me like an Obama stimulus package. I will stick to inventions, music, and scouting. I do disagree with the odor issue in relation to CC. Ever catch a wiff of his breath after a brat w/ kraut and nacho cheese doritos? Rather clean up your coaching shorts after a failed attempt to relinquish yourself from the breakfast burrito, than to smell that!

 

Speaking of, which is your favorite breakfast burrito? I like the sardine and onion burrito at Denny's.

[In10city]

OK,

I've sent my 5.00 checks (from my stimulus package money) to the Braves, Red Sox, the MLB Association, and the Nashville Sounds. I still have a few dollars left so who else should I buy off?

Oh, interesting thought as far as tying the right hand. I'm gonna start with bungee cords and move up to duct tape if necessary. Might end the nature vs. nurture issue once and for all!!!

As far as telling mom and social workers that it's "a religious belief", I went on line tonight and bought a bumper sticker that says "It's a Druid Thing You Wouldn't Understand". If it gets me past the social workers, do you think I could get another tax break for concession stand food, mileage, and Tommy Johns surgery (for Bubba)?

A little concerned about the smell issue (he will be in the back of my mini-van-in a car seat, facing backwards, of course...but still. 9 innings is 9 innings...)

Finally, if you could grace me with one more answer to my never ending questions...

Would it be better to go ahead and slice that web between the index and bird finger or wait until he can grip the ball?

Appreciate ya'll's advice (even if you're not a paid professional).

[E5]

OK,

I've sent my 5.00 checks (from my stimulus package money) to the Braves, Red Sox, the MLB Association, and the Nashville Sounds. I still have a few dollars left so who else should I buy off?

Oh, interesting thought as far as tying the right hand. I'm gonna start with bungee cords and move up to duct tape if necessary. Might end the nature vs. nurture issue once and for all!!!

As far as telling mom and social workers that it's "a religious belief", I went on line tonight and bought a bumper sticker that says "It's a Druid Thing You Wouldn't Understand". If it gets me past the social workers, do you think I could get another tax break for concession stand food, mileage, and Tommy Johns surgery (for Bubba)?

A little concerned about the smell issue (he will be in the back of my mini-van-in a car seat, facing backwards, of course...but still. 9 innings is 9 innings...)

Finally, if you could grace me with one more answer to my never ending questions...

Would it be better to go ahead and slice that web between the index and bird finger or wait until he can grip the ball?

Appreciate ya'll's advice (even if you're not a paid professional).

 

 

Gotta beat him to the puch...by some good ole black electrical tape if you cant afford duck tape and tape a softball between his fingers. This leaves no scars. In the event you ever need a good lawyer give me a holler. My best friend will be out of federal lock up in a couple of months on some trumped up charges and will need some work. His average for winning cases is as good as Slyde's number of prospects signed...we will call it a wash.

 

BTW, CC the grunt bars on the bathrooms helped me get off the handicapped turlet the other night. Please thank the party who thought me and others like me. The blue you saw on my lower legs was from a paint can that busted when we were painting our 5U logo for the World Series Warm Up Tournament we have this week. Playboy Scott Hayes is throwing out the first pitch for the Gold Division Championship and Wob Wowill the Silver Division Championship.

 

Slyde, do I look a choicy eater when it comes to food, let alone breakfast burritos? Maybe thats why the scouting thing did not work out.

E

[Slyder]

you know I have to weigh in on this one!

 

1) Taping the softball between his fingers is a GREAT method of stretching our those fingers. I would add this to the suggestion. Get some white vasoline and rub it on the webbing between his fingers. It softens the skin, helps cover up any tears or scaring and lets little bubba know, that baseball and vasoline go together. Its how CC got his full pitching ride to Johnston Reformatory Junior College.

 

2) I am coming to scout the Silver Division 5u World Series this weekend. Looking at that kid from Germantown thats a switch hitting centerfielder that has an extra thumb on each hand. Called the big club about him yesterday. Think he can be a pitcher one day.

 

3) E5, the grunt bars were my idea. I also suggested putting a bowl full of bullets in the john so you have something to bite down on when the breakfast burrito gets lodged wrong.

 

4) The only reason I was asking about the burrito... I was going to stop and get a couple for you for breakfast at the World Series tourney this weekend. I know everyone brings you wings and a bib, but I was trying to be thoughful of you.

 

5) Was In10city taxed on his stimulus check????

[In10city]

Uh, Slyder, Of course I wasn't taxed. It was considered a coaching cost and since I'm totally volunteering my expertise, I think I'm getting the 100% charitible contribution instead of the "professional" related tax break of 20%...

 

Been a bit concerned about Bubba since they added oatmeal to his diet. He just doesn't seem to show the same fire lately. Thinking about adding those grunt bars to his crib. I'll let you know if it provides the same relief.

 

And speaking of relief and grunt bars, do ya' think it might be possible to add a pillow to the tops of the urinals to provide a resting/waiting place for some of the gentlemen here who are having prostate issues? (You know who you are...) I'm kind of worried about his/their circulation issues.

 

Also concerned about the 5U World Series preseason tournament. I mean, dang, it's already the middle of March!!! Shouldn't this have been in January (or at the very latest, the 1st week of February? They DO make long underwear in that size for a reason....

 

Last thought. The Germantown kid with extra digits might make a great shortstop or center fielder too. I know you've got to decide on the position soon since he's already almost 5 but you may want to leave your options open for the next month or two. I've seen major growth in players between that 8th and 10th month of their 4th year.

Just something to think about...

[Slyder]

In10city... Nice thought on germantown kid with the 12 fingers, but I have seen where he has been having arm trouble and his elbow is swollen 3X the size so EVERYBODY knows that tommy john surgery is emiment. He will definitely be a pitcher. Just ask E5! Good question but remember I am a scout. I have not made a lot of money yet (the kids are not durable these days). But lucky for me my AIG bonus check arrived and I can survive another year or two!

[E5]

In10city... Nice thought on germantown kid with the 12 fingers, but I have seen where he has been having arm trouble and his elbow is swollen 3X the size so EVERYBODY knows that tommy john surgery is emiment. He will definitely be a pitcher. Just ask E5! Good question but remember I am a scout. I have not made a lot of money yet (the kids are not durable these days). But lucky for me my AIG bonus check arrived and I can survive another year or two!

 

 

Quick advice Slyde. Trying to make a mound at my house. I have an old Sears turtle shell. What if I fill it with dirt, bury to proper height, and cover up for a mound? Do you know the decomp rate? We plan to move in a couple of years. Hoffa should keep in the turtle shell till then?

 

E

[Slyder]

E5, I don't know what you heard about me and decomposing corpes, but I've not been convicted or anything!!!

 

Put a 5lb bag of lyme in the turtle shell, a 20ib bag of kitty litter and cover w/ sports dirt. Do not over tamp!

 

My 7yr old nephew ruptured a rotator cuff Saturday after his 3rd relief appearance. How can I convince my brother to go on have the surgery and do tommy johns and maybe knee surgery while he is on the mend?

[In10city]

E5, I don't know what you heard about me and decomposing corpes, but I've not been convicted or anything!!!

 

Put a 5lb bag of lyme in the turtle shell, a 20ib bag of kitty litter and cover w/ sports dirt. Do not over tamp!

 

My 7yr old nephew ruptured a rotator cuff Saturday after his 3rd relief appearance. How can I convince my brother to go on have the surgery and do tommy johns and maybe knee surgery while he is on the mend?

 

 

Easy enough. Explain that anesthesia is riskier than the surgery itself and that most insurances would rather do the 2 for 1 thing.

Plus since he's still kind of young, it won't be as hard to tote him around (since crutches aren't possible).

Probably would have been better if he were 5 but 7's not too late (I hope).

 

As far as the turtle shell idea, I think E5 may be talking about the infamous "snail" or "Escargo" popular during the late 80's, early 90's. Even better for our purpose is the Fischer Price turtle sandbox (from around the same time). Use the bottom half to feed the dogs, flip the top over some sifted Georgia clay, and cover with 5 inches of TN clay and 6-8 inches of topsoil. (I've been researching since Bubba was born. This gives him the height advantage he needs.) Just make sure he's wearing steel spikes...

If you need to get rid of evidence, the lyme's not a bad idea but make sure you put the, uh, evidence at least 4 feet below the field surface. Those boogers have a way of resurfacing when you least expect 'em.

On a more personal note, Bubba is experiencing a bit of a setback. Mom added fruit to his diet and well, it looks like those grunt bars are the LAST thing we need. Every time I coerce him to throw me the ball, he ends up acting like an old man that ate too many burritos. (No offense...)

Let me know how the scouting report is going. I can't stand the thought that we may have to put Bubba into the rec league this summer but I know ya'll are so supportive that you'll give us a look anyway.

And, as always, thanks for your help.