Hard Choices

[right]

It seems like everyone has an opinion about whether it's "right" to leave a team.

 

And that's an important point to remember... they're all just opinions. There are no hard and fast rules about when it's "right" to leave a team.

 

You might hold the opinion that it's NEVER right to leave a team. But what if there was sexual misconduct involved? Did you change your mind? Would you draw the line there?

 

I would hope so.

 

So when people say that someone shouldn't have left a team, what they are really saying is that in their OPINION that person didn't have a good enough reason to leave.

 

What they're saying is, "Your reason didn't meet my standards, so what you did was wrong."

 

What people need to understand is that the ONLY opinions that matter are the opinions of those personally involved.

 

You can stand off in the distance and criticize, but just take a moment and try to think of one good reason why YOUR opinion matters. It doesn't.

 

If you decided tomorrow that you could no longer tolerate the conditions at your place of employment and made the decision to leave, would it matter that your reasons might not meet my standards? Of course not, and I wouldn't be so arrogant as to call you a quitter.

 

And I wouldn't look for ways to blame you for creating the conditions that drove you away. That's simply ridiculous.

 

Life is full of choices. Some are simple and others are more difficult. Some are so difficult that people simply avoid them, and the "no decision" becomes their decision.

 

Those are the people who sit on life's sidelines and take whatever comes along. Those are the people who are afraid to take a stand when they need to.

 

Was it the right thing for those three girls to leave the team for reasons they feel strongly about? That's a matter of opinion and don't forget... their opinions are the only ones that matter.

 

Was it right for them to stand up for what they believe in and MAKE a tough decision? ABSOLUTELY!

 

There have been many times that I've been proud of my daughter for things she has done both on the diamond and off, but there have been few times when I have been more proud of her than when she made the hard decision to stand by a friend and teammate.

 

We were talking and I mentioned that although I knew they got along well, I never realized they were that close as friends.

 

She said simply, "Dad, I would have done that for anybody on the team. What he did to Melissa was wrong and I couldn't stand to just act like nothing happened."

 

Susan, Im proud of you!

Dad

[Antwan]

It seems like everyone has an opinion about whether it's "right" to leave a team.

 

And that's an important point to remember... they're all just opinions. There are no hard and fast rules about when it's "right" to leave a team.

 

You might hold the opinion that it's NEVER right to leave a team. But what if there was sexual misconduct involved? Did you change your mind? Would you draw the line there?

 

I would hope so.

 

So when people say that someone shouldn't have left a team, what they are really saying is that in their OPINION that person didn't have a good enough reason to leave.

 

What they're saying is, "Your reason didn't meet my standards, so what you did was wrong."

 

What people need to understand is that the ONLY opinions that matter are the opinions of those personally involved.

 

You can stand off in the distance and criticize, but just take a moment and try to think of one good reason why YOUR opinion matters. It doesn't.

 

If you decided tomorrow that you could no longer tolerate the conditions at your place of employment and made the decision to leave, would it matter that your reasons might not meet my standards? Of course not, and I wouldn't be so arrogant as to call you a quitter.

 

And I wouldn't look for ways to blame you for creating the conditions that drove you away. That's simply ridiculous.

 

Life is full of choices. Some are simple and others are more difficult. Some are so difficult that people simply avoid them, and the "no decision" becomes their decision.

 

Those are the people who sit on life's sidelines and take whatever comes along. Those are the people who are afraid to take a stand when they need to.

 

Was it the right thing for those three girls to leave the team for reasons they feel strongly about? That's a matter of opinion and don't forget... their opinions are the only ones that matter.

 

Was it right for them to stand up for what they believe in and MAKE a tough decision? ABSOLUTELY!

 

There have been many times that I've been proud of my daughter for things she has done both on the diamond and off, but there have been few times when I have been more proud of her than when she made the hard decision to stand by a friend and teammate.

 

We were talking and I mentioned that although I knew they got along well, I never realized they were that close as friends.

 

She said simply, "Dad, I would have done that for anybody on the team. What he did to Melissa was wrong and I couldn't stand to just act like nothing happened."

 

Susan, Im proud of you!

Dad

Good luck to Susan and the other girls...what an unfortunate situation for all involved.

Edited April 23, 2004 by Antwan

[sbcoach]

I am so sorry all this has happened to Susan & the other girls. I have always enjoyed watching Susan & how hard she has worked in the past. I hope everything works out for you & your family. Good Luck this summer, we'll see you around the field.

[deadeye]

To Right:

 

In a previous thread, I added to the discussion of quittiing a team due to coaches. I was not directing it at you or any players in particular. And of course my post was merely an opinion. Sounds like your daughter had a sad decision to make, and for that I am sorry.

 

I agree with everything you said if it matters.

[govolz]

Kudos to Right...you have every Right to say what you said at the beginning of this post. I don't know the situation that you and your child is involved with, but it is obvious that it goes deeper than we may ever know. Stand behind your childs decisions whether right or wrong. Decisions are the growing pains of life. Just remember that if softball is in her heart, everything will work out in the end for her. Just keep displaying her talent and it will be recognized. High School team or no High School team.

[3ANDOUT]

Right - that was the most heartfelt post I have read. I am so proud of YOU for supporting your daughter. Many parents would be broken by their childs decision. Lots of parents will "push" their kids to endure situations that they themselves would never tolerate. Sounds like your daughter has learned some of the more valuable issuses in life - like integrity and true friendship - way more valuable than pitching a fast ball. But I have watched you and Susan for many years - thru travle ball and club k and you have a wonderful relationship. I only wish Shelby could have played more softball with Susan...friends like that are what matter most in life. Way to go dad....your post was really refreshing.

[FPFanatic]

good post, right.

good things happen to good people, and I have known some of these people for

a long time, everything will work out for the best, your pitcher has a great future -

I know and you do also, of girls that got scholarships without playing high school.

can't say I'm surprised about anything after seeing the actions in last year's

9AAA district tournament (to those of you who remembered that);

anyway, it takes a lot of courage and strength to stand up for what is right, and

I'm glad these American traits still exist with some.

[leigh14]

I know Susan.I think she is one of the greatest people I know.But when she left the team she hurt her teammates more than she did anyone.Her team will do fine without her, but it would have been better if she would have stayed.I don't really know why she quit, but I was at a loss for words when I heard she quit.I played summerball with her and she uplifted the team.I guess she was pretty upset for her to quit the team.But I wish she just would have finished out the season insead of leaving her teammates stranded.But did it really help her quitting the team for a another girls reasons?It just hurt her teammates twice as bad cause both of them quit.I hope everything works out for Susan and I hope she continues to play softball.

[UMPSRUS]

LEIGH14 I dont know how much you know ,but this was the straw that broke the back. There has been issues since the beginning of this years team. You ought to be proud people still stand up for what is right. Don't matter what anyone says Mt Juliet was doomed before the girls resigned.

 

leigh14, Do you think its right to threaten a child for going to her grandfathers funeral? then tell her that she wont play a game because she went? this is her senior year too. she should have had fond memories of playing ball graduating and moving on with her life. now, when she thinks back about this time, this will always come back.

 

do you thinks its right to telll a player that has been in a hitting slump that she cost the game when she was put in to play in the last inning with 2 outs. IN THE HUDDLE HE TOLD HER SHE "COST" THEM THE GAME!!! she didnt even play 1 time during these games. ( it happened twice). no one on the team seems to remember this.

 

do you think its right to tell a child that she cant miss 1 practice to go she her granfather that was just diagnosed with a brain tumor and had major brain surgery?

 

if you dont stand up for what you believe in, what will you have in the end?

 

leigh14, do YOU think its RIGHT to let politics PLAY in the GAME?

 

well maybe the coach SHOULD have talked to the girls when he knew there was a probelm and he ignored it. HE deserves what he gets.

[hsfball]

It's better to stand alone than to not stand at all.

[leigh14]

Umpsrus I don't remember that ever being said in the huddle.Mt.Juliet wasn't doomed before the girls resigned either.Players are going to get punished no matter what reason they miss a game even if it is going to the hospital to see your grandfather YOU'RE GOING TO GET PUNISHED NO MATTER WHAT.And what did she stand up for, because I don't know?

[3ANDOUT]

Why are you punished "no matter what?" I guess that is what seems so incredibly unbelievable to most of us. If the coach needed to be somewhere else at a crisis moment in their life...it wouldn't be allowed either? Why? From a very human - human being sitting here, I find this difficult to understand. Even professional athletes, who are paid quite well, have things happen in their life that require their attention/time to be spent somewhere else momentarily. I would hope that coaches would NEVER puts life and death situations in front of softball...afterall it is high school softball. Believe me, I love the sport and have devoted a lot of time and money to it for many years. Frivilous excuses to miss practice and games doesn't cut it with me either. But their are prioriies in life and they need to be put in perspective. So being punished "no matter what" is not a standard I would be proud of. Sorry.