Moms

[Sommers]

Wrestling moms endure

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By Ward Gossett, Assistant Sports Editor Chattanooga Times Free Press, Friday, February 17, 2006

Quote:

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High school wrestlers' moms cheer and console, but they also agonize.

 

And they endure.

 

"It's hard to see them get hurt -- an eyebrow cut or a lip busted -- but the hardest part is the tough defeats when he loses one he really wanted. He stays away from us when he loses," said Soddy-Daisy wrestler Eric Turner's mother, Melanie.

 

"It was tough at first, watching him strain his heart out. Six minutes doesn't seem so long, but when he first started it seemed like an eternity."

 

Wrestlers' mothers endure the soreness from tournament days and nights in the bleachers. They wash uniforms and workout clothes, and they cook special meals for sons who are cutting or watching their weight.

 

"I get him on a diet program when practice starts," Jill Metcalf said of her son, Justin, Ooltewah's 152-pounder. "I'm one of those that doesn't believe in not eating. I don't want him trying to lose five pounds in two hours."

 

The moms give up personal time to work in the concession stands or, in the case of Soddy-Daisy mothers, the kitchen at this weekend's state tournament at McKenzie Arena.

 

Sue Ann Simpson is the matriarch of one of the state's leading wrestling families. Since seeing her first match in the late 1960s, she hasn't missed many Father Ryan bouts. One of her sons, Pat, is the Father Ryan coach; another, Frank, coaches at Montgomery Bell Academy. Another son, Michael, recently resigned as president of the Mid-South wrestling club in Memphis; his son, Jonathan, is an assistant coach at Germantown.

 

"She was a fiery sort," Frank said of his mother. "She was the type who supported her kids no matter what they did, and she continues to come and support us. As my daddy used to say, she was always hard to sit next to when we were competing."

 

Sue Ann hasn't lost her love for the sport. She's expected to be in the stands today to watch another grandson wrestle. She's seen several move on to college, including Patrick and William Simpson and Whit Dunning at Army and Raymond Dunning at Adams State in Colorado.

 

She has long understood that wrestling is one of the loneliest of sports. A team wrestling match is really 14 times of someone's son in the spotlight alone with an opponent.

 

"I don't know if it's personal for the boys, but there is no team to absorb the defeat or the shame of losing," said Ferris Robinson, whose son, Robby, is a McCallie senior. "I've seen my boys pinned many times, but their feeling -- oh, it's just awful. It's the worst. You are never so defeated as when you get pinned. You're powerless. It isn't like losing a basketball game. They have to learn to deal with the thoughts of being powerless.

 

"You name the sport and we've done it, but getting pinned in wrestling is the ultimate defeat."

 

At the state duals in a match against MBA, Robby got turned to his back and Ferris dropped the camera. Her son gave her a consoling look.

 

She believes wrestling brings out her baser instincts.

 

"I act kind of like a cavewoman. It's unbearable," Ferris said. "When you see your little son out there being mauled or about to be mauled, I have thought, 'Kill him,' about the other child. You put aside your kid gloves."

 

The mothers rarely, if at all, complain about being asked to prepare food, be it baked chicken or a salad or a cup of rice. Their universal gripe is bleacher-sitting.

 

"Wrestling is one of the most parent-unfriendly sports," Melanie Turner said. "Dual meets aren't so bad, but the tournaments and sitting there all day are tough on your back when you're cramped up in the bleachers."

 

Added Barbara Nausley, whose son Jacob was a first-year wrestler at Baylor: "I'm antsy anyway, so I get up and move around, but even then you get sore. It's tough when somebody bends him like a pretzel, but I hope he does it again. He learned so much. It provides life's lessons."

 

Peeves are few and far between, probably because of those lessons.

 

"I'll probably cry for a day or two when the season's over, because Justin is a senior," Metcalf said. "Wrestling has become a huge part of my life. I'm probably a top-five crazy wrestling mom. I live and breathe it.

 

"When it comes to him wrestling, I probably get more nervous than he does. I average a 10-12-pound weight loss during the season."

 

Robinson's husband, Dan, was a multisport athlete and often told his wife that of all the sports he'd done he hoped their sons wouldn't wrestle. All three did.

 

"In wrestling, they're down in the grit as to what they put into it -- the blood, the guts and the dirt -- and what they get out of it," Ferris said. "They have learned huge lessons. (Robby) takes responsibilities for his mistakes. For what he's gotten from the sport, all the defeats and all the agony have been worth it."

Way to go mom's!! Dan, tell your good wife (Mrs. Nausley) just to call my mom, Mary Blosser for any advice on being a wrestling mom. As you may remember, she's a wrestling G-ma and nearly a wrestling great "GREAT" G-ma today.

 

Note: After Robby's loss to Ryan's Jr. stud Bateman, after fighting to hold a 3-1 lead with 10 seconds left on the clock, I asked him how he's handling this, and he put a big smile on his face and said, "I knew the throw was coming, it was just a matter of when." This young man is prepared for life!!

 

soms

[jakesdad]

Thanks for sharing this, Sommers. I must have missed this article when it was run. Ward did a good job capturing the mother's perspective. Although, parent anxiety is not exclusively female. Whenever I see my kid in a fight, I instinctively want to join him. Sometimes it's hard to stay in the stands.