Coaches Humiliating Players

[PatFan20]

I think that what humiliates one player may not another and so on and so forth. Just to see ones actions on the sideline does not tell the story. What was said? I knew a coach once that would stomp the floor and he did this to get his palyers attention, not out of anger, but all the folks int he stands saw him stomping his foot and thought he was acting a fool. I was not at the game, the coach may have been out of line but just a few weeks ago, I heard the Media talking about Bob Knight smacking a young man, well the video footage clearly showed that there was no smack, it was a lifting of the chin, and that is nothing inappropriate.

 

I agree prophet sometimes what something looks like is not as it appears!

[PatFan20]

The ABSOLUTE number one problem is not with coaches berating players, it is with the children and parents of 2007 having absolutly NO respect for authority. Coaching and playing is a public matter, a kid screws up in public, he gets punished in public more times than not. When it comes physical that is when it becomes a problem. As many have seen with the retiring of Bill Parcells in the NFL, the old-school type of coaches are getting phased out and now we are catering to the players. (i.e. the thug of T.O.)

 

Also, a big double standard is if a coach makes a mistake, he is chastised either in the media, definitely in the stands, and on message boards. Is that wrong for a coach to be berated then? We are told no, that coaches know what they are getting in to. And yes we do, but why can we not expect the same out of our players? We wonder why some kids after they get out of school can not hold a job or finish anything they start. If they can't simply follow the rules and do a little hard work in high school athletics, how are they going to succeed in life when they have a boss down their throat? Are they going to have their parents call the boss? The truth is we live in a soft society, and have a lot of high school kids that can't fight their own battles. Now I understand if it is getting racial, physical, or to the point to where the kid can not handle it on his or her own then parents should step in. If parents can't stand that, then pull your child out of the school and home-school them and prepare them yourself.

 

 

Amen

[kbc00]

Amen

if you push a kid hard enough to run them off then you are not much of a coach. pushing them to make them better by showing is one thing. but thinking a player is going to get better by telling them how bad they are is not going to accomplish anything. there is a place for discipline and it is at practice. but that is also a time to teach the game. the biggest problem today is there are a lot of coaches that cannot teach someone to play.

[JHITE7]

there is a place for discipline and it is at practice. but that is also a time to teach the game. the biggest problem today is there are a lot of coaches that cannot teach someone to play.

 

I agree and I disagree. You do have to discipline at times on the fly. A player gets a technical, or a personal foul, or something along those lines needs to be addressed. My whole philosophy is that a coach should be the FIRST to reprimand a player, and the FIRST to congratulate a player. If most coaches would follow those guidelines than most the time there won't be many problems that will arise that can't be taken care of.

 

As far as the comment that a lot of coaches can't teach someone to play is somewhat true and somewhat not. Teaching someone to play is only a small part of the job description. The main job of a high school coach is yes to teach X's and O's, but it also is our job to get kids prepared for college, and or life. If coaches as a whole worry just about winning and teaching the kids to be better athletes and not take in to consideration their well-being as human beings would be a great injustice. And teaching them discipline and being accountable for their actions goes a very long way. It's not as easy as it looks.

[tnwareagle]

If a kid cannot take getting yelled at and "embarrassed" then he/she does not need to be playing. My daughter played for one of the best coaches in the state, but because there were a few parents that did not like their daughters being yelled at and told how terrible they were, he was asked to leave. What a shame! My son played for one of the best coaches in the state of Tennessee. He literally would get in my son's face and yell at him nose to nose.. What did that do for my son? It made him a better player and a better person.... Many times it is not the kid that is humiliated, rather the parent. Imagine how good coaches could be if the parents would just leave them alone. In the world of work, your kid may get embarrassed by his boss when he messes up. ( I have) Does that mean you need to go after your bosses' job? That is what too many parents do to coaches. Leave them the heck alone and let them coach. I get so so sick of hearing parents crying because their little kid was mistreated on the ballcourt. Just yesterday I heard a parent complaining because the coach told her son that "he stunk." I don't like the use of that word either, but ALL the kids use it. I would bet that mom's son uses the word too. Maybe that was the word that he could relate to and would get his attention. My daughter went up to her "new coach" (after her other was asked to leave) and told him during a game, "Yell at me.. tell me I stink..." (By the way, she did indeed need to be told that during that particular game) Again, parents should be parents and leave the coaching to the coaches. If your child gets humiliated by a coach, then maybe he should sing in the choir or something. But by all means----- do not plan on him playing in colllege, because if you think he is humiliated in HS---just wait..

[Themightymac]

Tnwareagle,

 

I find myself agreeing with you on more than one plane. As a teacher I have to find my word to be professional, yet honest at the same time. Using a students language is almost necessary from time to time, but it can be used correctly and incorrectly. All teachers, coaches, and PARENTS have to do this from time to time. Here are a few rules I find work wonders:

1) Be honest: if a kid makes a mistake point it out, but make sure the kid understands the mistake. A kid who know his mistakes can fix or attempt to fix them.

2) Make a point everyday to compliment or point out one positive thing about each student or player: Remember it takes 100 "at-a-boy"s to make up for one "oh, shoot".

3) If you can't come up with something positive, don't make a negative comment cause you are to stupid to be doing that job: a positive comment may be, "Hey, nice backpack." or "Hey, glad to see you smile today", something, anything, everyday.

Try em. They work.

[VOREBS]

I'm sorry but if a coach uses humiliation as a coaching tool, he has no business coaching. There is a huge difference between humiliation and discipline. I absolutely believe in strict discipline and sometimes that may require raising your voice. But degrading and humiliating a kid has no place in sports. I don't care how many of you tough love parents and coaches are out there, I've seen too many great players shut down because the coach humiliated them. I was told once by a coach that I have great respect for that he always told his players don't embarass or humiliate me and I will never do the same to you. I always used that as a guide in my coaching. Coaches that humiliate their players rarely if ever will ever get the maximum performance out of their players.

 

Just my opinion for what it is worth.

Sorry but if they are a "great player" they will not be shut down due to someone yelling at them. Different players require different ways of motivation. If a coach is physically abusing a player there is no discussion, he should be dealt with. But yelling at a player, and continuing to yell at a player to get the point across is not humiliation, in my opinion. One thing I guess I see that bothers me is that some parents who basically NEVER correct their kid, get all bent out of shape if a coach does. In these cases, the problem is not with the coach, but with the parent. I like anyone else want my child to do well, and don't mind telling people about it when he does. But I maintain that anyone who coaches him in the future, that yells at him and pushes him to be the best he can be will be fine with me. Having been a parent, coach, an official, and broadcaster of high school sports for a long time, I have seen VERY FEW coaches that even approached the line that some say all coaches cross.

 

just another opinion

Edited January 27, 2007 by VOREBS

[pdbmit]

Rarely see a topic where players and parents humiliate/embarass a coach or school. Hmmmmm, sign of the times?!?

[madisonsquaregarden]

I haven't read all the posts in this thread, but after reading the last page my comment is this.

 

How many people in the stands notice when coaches actually congratulate or tell a player "good job". Or maybe just pat the player on the back or give the five or knuckles. I think SO many people are looking for something to complain about with coaches that they choose to overlook the positive and attend games for nothing more sometimes than just to find a mistake with the coaching staff. What a pathetic existance for those so called fans that they have nothing better to do than to spend money a couple of nights every week just to be a pessimist and try to cause trouble.

 

Answer these questions before you complain or try to make a coach's life miserable because of your own incompetency, jealousy, or paranoia.

1. How many days have you spent in practice with the coach and players in question?

2. How many times have you been in the dressing room at halftime, pregame, or postgame?

3. How many times have you been on the bus with them?

4. How many times have you been in the school hallways, classrooms, or lunchrooms with them?

5. How many times have you been in the weight room with them, been in preseason conditioning with them, or cried with them in the dressing room after the season ending loss?

 

Unless you can answer "all the time" to all of these questions, don't pretend to know what coaches go through for all of our kids. Even if there is a bad apple, deal with that one and don't lump all coaches into that category. STOP pretending to know how to do a coach's job, and even if you do know how, how rare would it be that anyone who's bashing, complaing, or whining ever really knows the whole story or situation?

[kbc00]

I haven't read all the posts in this thread, but after reading the last page my comment is this.

 

How many people in the stands notice when coaches actually congratulate or tell a player "good job". Or maybe just pat the player on the back or give the five or knuckles. I think SO many people are looking for something to complain about with coaches that they choose to overlook the positive and attend games for nothing more sometimes than just to find a mistake with the coaching staff. What a pathetic existance for those so called fans that they have nothing better to do than to spend money a couple of nights every week just to be a pessimist and try to cause trouble.

 

Answer these questions before you complain or try to make a coach's life miserable because of your own incompetency, jealousy, or paranoia.

1. How many days have you spent in practice with the coach and players in question?

2. How many times have you been in the dressing room at halftime, pregame, or postgame?

3. How many times have you been on the bus with them?

4. How many times have you been in the school hallways, classrooms, or lunchrooms with them?

5. How many times have you been in the weight room with them, been in preseason conditioning with them, or cried with them in the dressing room after the season ending loss?

 

Unless you can answer "all the time" to all of these questions, don't pretend to know what coaches go through for all of our kids. Even if there is a bad apple, deal with that one and don't lump all coaches into that category. STOP pretending to know how to do a coach's job, and even if you do know how, how rare would it be that anyone who's bashing, complaing, or whining ever really knows the whole story or situation?

are you a coach? seems like it has hit a sore spot with you.

[hackashaq]

Tnwareagle,

 

All teachers, coaches, and PARENTS have to do this from time to time. Here are a few rules I find work wonders:

1) Be honest: if a kid makes a mistake point it out, but make sure the kid understands the mistake. A kid who know his mistakes can fix or attempt to fix them.

2) Make a point everyday to compliment or point out one positive thing about each student or player: Remember it takes 100 "at-a-boy"s to make up for one "oh, shoot".

 

 

Great thoughts!!! The positive energy necessary to get over negative comments is amazing. The team as a whole moves backwards when a coach is into this method of teaching his student/athlete.

 

Voreb, I notice some seem to think that yelling is what we are challenging. It is not yelling - pushing the volume up to be heard for direction while in a crowd. It is humiliation. Berating a person in front of a crowd. Again this is tantamount to psychological warfare. When you have a coach with pe degree, with a hidden agenda, and huge ego, he shouldn't be allowed to constantly use demeaning and derogatory actions toward any student/athlete on the court. Yes, he should be able to use discipline on the court. Unless you have a psychology degree, I would say that it is not best for most coaches to use humiliation as tool to get his way. A couple of questions for you:

 

1. Did you see Bill Parcells trying to yell at T. Owens this year??? If bending an egotistically/head strong athlete down with open public humiliation is so successful, why did he not do it to TO?? Do you remember Danny Ainge/Robert Horry?? Or how about Sprewell and PJ Carlesimo? Wonder if you did that to a high school player and he decked the coach??? You are using the "thug" mentality to relate to a human being - don't be surprised if you don't see the "thug" come out of the player on the court.

2. If humiliation is so successful in teaching an athlete to do the right thing, then why is it not used in the class room??

 

There are alot of really good coaches out there, and this is not pointed at them. Even some of the best get caught in the heat of the moment and pop a cork - but in most cases that is unusual for them. That is not the coach I am worried about.

 

Solomon

Some coaches are enamored with themselves. Put a suit on the guy, let him schedule a weak schedule, and he gets a large number of wins, but his charade is brought to light during the tournament every year. You sit back and watch this coach play mind games on good solid athletes that need encouragement (remember that you need 100 positive to overcome 1 negative - see tnwareales comments) so that he can break their confidence down and play the lesser athlete during meaningless games that he is building his ego on. Like I said, tournament time fleshes out these weaker players and the coaches plan. I know you are a big fan of the coach I am thinking of, but I think you are about to see his true side very soon!!!

 

Discpline on a team is important, but to let a coach with a hidden agenda have the key to the town while breaking young people down to feed his ego is a travesty to everyone involved.

[JHITE7]

but to let a coach with a hidden agenda have the key to the town while breaking young people down to feed his ego is a travesty to everyone involved.

 

 

What's next?? Are some high school coaches responsible for insurgencies in Iraq,or was one of them the second shooter on the grassy knoll? I just feel that this is getting blown way out of proportion. I don't see how you can say that coach's have a hidden agenda. I think most of the agendas are to win...and if they are not in it for that then they are in the wrong business. As far as T.O. goes...look how that situation turned out. He was a determining factor in the leaving of Bill Parcells. Are you telling me that it is wrong to get in the face of a "thug" like T.O.? What he needs is to be sitting at home writing more children books, because there is no place in sports for guys like him. But in your eyes I'm sure it is always the coach's fault.