High school coaches vs parent tolerance

[CoachSR]

I've coached for the better part of 14 years. Never have I had a problem with parents coming to watch practices. My feeling is this....as long as they are not a distraction to the girls (i.e. Talking to them or yelling at them to do something) it's great to see them involved. I've got nothing to hide....and I'm very open to hear what the parents' opinion is. Sometimes you can actually LEARN something about their child.

 

But then I coach both on an individual level..as well as on the team level. So finding out what motivates them individually is always a help.

 

I just find it strange that a coach would want to have a completely closed door policy on practices. (Except for certain circumstances like getting ready for a major tourney or game)

 

I DO however agree with the "Let the coach be the coach" philosophy. It's just hard to do when you hear that they are using "unnecessary" foul language with your child.

 

ANYway....I think that these cases are few and far between and that for the most part..the HS coaches do a great job with our girls. Kudooooz to you all

[khopkins]

I'm not sure why I read this thread to begin with, but after doing so, I feel very fortunate. I have a daughter who played 5 years of hs ball. She had, what I consider, to be a very caring and demanding coach. He demanded their very best, but was caring and understanding to the difficulties teenage girls are facing. As a matter of fact, he stood by my parenting decision when it may have hurt the team. I felt comfortable enough to communicate with him if I felt something was bothering my daughter and he communicated back to me if he felt there was a problem. Maybe I'm in the minority with this situation, but I don't think so. Don't get me wrong. If he needed to raise his voice he would, but it was rare and without profanity. As for this coaches abilities, three state championships, numerous state appearances.

 

However, that is not to say Catchman's situation is not real. I feel sorry for him, because he is feeling very frustrated with his daughters situation. On the one hand he wants her to benefit from the experience of playing HS softball, yet he doesn't want to expose her to unneccessary coaching behavior. When my youngest daughter (12) was exposed to a coach who felt it necessary to use profanity to make his point, my daughter and I discussed the situation and chose to look for another team. HS players typically don't have that luxury.

 

With all this said, I suggest Catchman try to communicate to the coach privately, in a respectful manner, about his concerns. At least then, you will have made the effort. Who knows, this coach may have gotten into some bad habits that nobody else has been caring enough to point out to him. Try to put yourself in his shoes and how would you want somebody to approach you? Good luck catchman.

 

STD, I've read many of your posts and appreciate your views. I agree with you that most coaches aren't like the one described by catchman. However, you might be too harsh on this one. "Sell your story elsewhere" sounds very uncaring to an unbiased reader.

 

Nsame...I see many parents watching their childs practices. I don't think it is all that uncommon. As a matter of fact, when I played football back in 1980-81, there were several dads who attended practices, so I don't think it is anything new, either.

 

Best of luck to all of you this year.

[illpete23]

I am a college baseball player and our practices are closed (due to another team possibly taking notes on us or something like that).

 

But my girlfriend's high school softball practices are also closed for the same reason. But the high school that I went to, their softball practice WERE NOT closed. I went and watched them practice, and saw parents yelling at their daughter or other players, and getting into yelling contests with the coach. If the parents do this during practice, then won't they be worn out before the games start?

[std]

Cornpup I suggest you re-read the original post. Catchman does say there is "a large number of coaches like this." To me a "large number" sounded like a majority. I may be wrong but large sounds bigger than small. Yes I am a coach and have been doing this for 20 years and I take offense when coaches in "large numbers" are critisized by someone. Say sometihing like "I know a coach" not a "large number of coaches." Don't stereotyope the group by grouping us in a "large number."

 

The content of the original post on this thread seemed to me to start a slam fest on high school coaches. I don't think this board should be used for that thus the sell your story some place else. I feel that positive story lines are a much better use of this forum.

[Edited by std on 3-10-03 10:08P]

 

[cornpup]

OK STD, you got it, I'll read Catchman's post again. In return, read mine again. Not once did I write that Catchman didn't say that a large number of coaches do this. You seem to have a compulsive problem with this type of stuff. Other than that you seem like a pretty good guy/girl. Catchman, come out from behind the curtains and post something. You started this mess. Are you an instructor????????????

[fpjunkie]

I don't know him personally, but based on his past posts, I know that Catchman is an instructor. I also know that STD is one of the most respected coaches in the state. Catchman may have been frustrated at times with coaches, but I have to agree with STD on this one. Since my daughter began lessons at Club K approx. 9 years ago, she has played for at least 12 different head coaches (rec, travel, middle, and high school) and many more assistants. In addition, I have observed many other coaches in action, and have talked with parents and players who have played for many other coaches. My daughter has never played for a coach who did not seem to appreciate the instruction she has received and the many hours she has spent trying to become a better player. That does not mean that her coaches have never tried to help her. No matter how good the instructors at Club K may be, they do not go with the girls onto the field for practice or games. All players slip into bad habits occasionally, and she has had coaches offer suggestions. On the few occasions where the coach's instruction has seemed to contradict her private instruction, she (or I) has spoken with either the coach, the instructor, or both, and resolved the situation. The secret is not challenging, but respecting the coach and acknowledging that he/she is in charge of the team. We have never experienced a coach who used profanity or otherwise acted inappropriately around the girls. I have read posts on this board from players or parents who weren't crazy about their coaches for various reasons, but rarely do you read of one complaining about the kinds of things that Catchman alleges. I'm sure there are a few out there somewhere, but the coaches that are out there in large numbers are the ones who spend countless hours for love of the game, love of the girls, and little or no money. To all of these coaches, I say a big "THANK YOU!"

[Edited by fpjunkie on 3-11-03 1:33A]

[sbcoach]

Good post *fpjunkie. All you can ask of a player to listen to their coach who is trying to help them & their team. Most coaches will understand if they have a private instructor & listen to them, but players have to be flexible & coachable to whoever their coach is & respect his advice & opinion.

There are so many coaches out there in it for the "Love of the game", no money, no glory. And yes, STD is one of the top coaches in the Mid-State area. HE does a great job with his girls & turns out year-in & year-out one of the strongest programs in the state.

[catchman]

First off, pup u must have had some of these things happen to you. Thanks for your comments,

It just seems like every time i take the players side, i get jumped on. I go to alot of games all over the south, so i see more of these thing happen more than some people.

If you dont do these things iam talking about you should not be offened, If you are a good and careing coach you should be offened by the coaches that do these things. Because it gives the good coaches a bad name in general. We talk about alot, IF you see 5 or more at a tourney do these things , thats a lot when you think how many girls sees this kinda stuff. The girls tell me about this more than i see it. If your daughter has never been put through this, thank the BIG man up stairs for putting her in the right place.

I did have a daughter that played fast pitch for 5 years but quit after a very rude remark from the high school coach, of which i didnt found out about it until two months later. It worked out for the best, she got a great scholarship on her grades. Graduates from MYSU this year with a 3.4.gpa

I started coaching in 1992 because my daughter wanted to play ball. I also played the sport in the 1960s. When the men threw in the 80s and 90s. I had a very good teacher by the name of buster bogusgie. he is the icon of fast pitch soft ball in middle tenn. If you dont know this man, you havent been around this sport but just a few years. I think gary knows of him.

I have been certifed through doyle base ball for 9 years now. Iam also a trainer. I am lucky person to have at lest 3or4 students on a high school that has won the state twice. Also this school has been there 5 years on a row. I have also had few of my students go on to play college ball. I only teach one on one, I think you can take them futher quicker this way.

WE talk about a coach changing the way a players has been trained before he sees what she can do, ever have a student cry on your shoulder over it. Like take a power hitter , all at once you tell her to hit it into the ground. Then sit her because she cant. Just give her a shot at doing it the way she was taught. If it dont work, now change it, even the trainer

Dont feel sorry for me, because iam the luckys man in here. At 59 i still enjoy this sport and can hit a fast ball.

I BELIVE THIS, this game is all for the girls and we need to show them all the respect we can, If you show respect you will get it back, But we need to set examples by showing them how to respect, us and themselfs

If you want to get mad at me, thats ok, just dont make the girls suffer over it. Iam sure there are some i will not please no matter how i word this, But girls iam always on your side.

[FPFanatic]

well put catchman, you deserve a gold star for this.

[Indian]

A good coach should know the names and numbers of instuctors working with his/her players. If a conflict comes up, pick up the phone and call, and just work it out. The bottom line is that the player should play whatever position, bat whatever style the coach thinks is best for the team. With that being said, there should always be room for some compromise, especially if the coach can admit a private instructor might know more about the game and the details of batting and pitching than he or she does.

[cornpup]

First off I just wanna reflect on how intuitive I am......................OK now that I'm done doin' that, I really don't have anything more to add except to tell catchman something. No Catchman, I have not experienced what you discussed. The reason I stood up for you is because people on here get offended and then they start writing some of the most ignorant stuff you've ever heard in your life. I had a good feeling that you were an instructor and STD was coach; man I'm good And with you being an instructor, you are exposed to many different situations with dfferent kids that 99.9% of the people on this board would not be able to relate to. But that doesn't stop them from bashing you. Remember this Catchman, out of every 100 people that you meet, only 1 will have any God given since. JMO

[FPFanatic]

99 out of 100, huh?

that reminds me of something old Ben Franklin (the old dead

guy on the $100 bill) said, "everybody is crazy except for

me and thee, and I have my doubts about thee" (lol)