No Pass, No Play

[trackman]

Barb - what do you think we have now? Rocket scientistst! Perhaps your predictions are correct, but those communities get what they demand. Rules, rules. We don't need a split at all.

By the way, my compliments to you for your decision to remove your son. You saved everybody a lot of grief: your son, you, and probably especially the coach. It was really the best move in the long run. But what do you think you taught your son by pulling him from the team during the season? Good parenting?

 

Athletics still have rules, just because they're not your rules. Where would you stop with your rule making? How about size requirements for football or basketball players? Nobody over 6 feet tall or 170 pounds? Must have a 3.0 GPA with at least 2 advanced placement classes each semester? Come on.

 

I like CW's ideas of no rules better than that.

[barb]

Barb - what do you think we have now?  Rocket scientistst!  Perhaps your predictions are correct, but those communities get what they demand.  Rules, rules.  We don't need a split at all.

By the way, my compliments to you for your decision to remove your son.  You saved everybody a lot of grief:  your son, you, and probably especially the coach.  It was really the best move in the long run.  But what do you think you taught your son by pulling him from the team during the season?  Good parenting?

 

Athletics still have rules, just because they're not your rules.  Where would you stop with your rule making?  How about size requirements for football or basketball players?  Nobody over 6 feet tall or 170 pounds?  Must have a 3.0 GPA with at least 2 advanced placement classes each semester?  Come on.

 

I like CW's ideas of no rules better than that.

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I believe what I taught my son was called discipline. I would have gladly allowed him to stay on the team if he was just having a hard time with his classes but the truth was he was just plain irresponsible and lazy, a condition that is widespread among a large number of teenagers. Coming home from practice and watching TV or playing video games was unacceptable. He was told the consequences of this behavior and chose to ignore the warning.

 

I could really care less what rules apply to athletes. My children need only worry about one rule... Mine. I only expected 2 things from my children as they were growing up responsibility and accountability. They had one job and that was to maintain their grades. All I asked was that my son take this responsibility. He didn't so I held him accountable. Did I prevent the team from winning the championship? Not my problem. Did I damage my son in some way? No he was back on the field that summer with good grades and a much better attitude.

Edited September 29, 2004 by barb

[lazarus]

"I could really care less what rules apply to athletes. My children need only worry about one rule... Mine....

"Did I prevent the team from winning the championship? Not my problem."

 

sorry babe, i think you really missed the boat. in the course of teaching your son about responsibility you forgot all about his responsibility to others.

your message to your son is pretty clear:

it is all about ME.

and if i make a committment to others, it only counts until it is inconvenient to ME.

 

maybe it would have required a little too much effort on your part, but it seems that restricting the TV and video games would have been more appropriate. the only word i can think of for your approach is selfish.

[Bighurt]

lazarus,

The completely agree with barb. Her responsibility is to do what she feels is best for her child. Sometimes that means that the needs of the team suffer. The child should have considered the effect his actions would have on the team beforehand. I think barb's actions were completely justified and I applaud her for making a difficult decision. I have seen cases where parents pull a child off a team for purely selfish reason but I don't think this is the case here.

 

barb,

If Good Marks were still around, I would give you one for taking this action. thumb

[KCHSCoach]

at our school, student athlets must pass the 6 out of 8 but also maintain an over all average of 75 (C-) to be able to play at the end of each quarter. That also goes for all band people, club activities, any extracurricular activity.

[Baldcoach]

at our school, student athlets must pass the 6 out of 8 but also maintain an over all average of 75 (C-) to be able to play at the end of each quarter. That also goes for all band people, club activities, any extracurricular activity.

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It's a good policy coach. We started making students sit out of practice in ANY extracurricular activity if they don't get their homework in that day. It has been disruptive but it is amazing how quickly the kids realized the Admin meant business and started turning in all their homework.

 

My wife says she has the fewest number of D's and F's coming up for the 9 weeks that she has ever had...she thinks it is b/c of the homework policy.

[KCHSCoach]

nice idea, I'll pass that along at our next academic council meeting

[barb]

at our school, student athlets must pass the 6 out of 8 but also maintain an over all average of 75 (C-) to be able to play at the end of each quarter. That also goes for all band people, club activities, any extracurricular activity.

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Outstanding policy coach. Sometimes it helps to have a team thats not only talented but smart too!

[barb]

"I could really care less what rules apply to athletes. My children need only worry about one rule... Mine....

"Did I prevent the team from winning the championship? Not my problem."

 

sorry babe, i think you really missed the boat. in the course of teaching your son about responsibility you forgot all about his responsibility to others.

your message to your son is pretty clear:

it is all about ME.

and if i make a committment to others, it only counts until it is inconvenient to ME.

 

maybe it would have required a little too much effort on your part, but it seems that restricting the TV and video games would have been more appropriate. the only word i can think of for your approach is selfish.

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Laz... assuming you are a man... you would not have any idea what it is like for a woman to raise a son without a father. We were widowed when my son was 8 and with the help of my parents my son participated in 3 sports. I made it clear to him what his responsibilities were from an early age.

 

Don't preach to me about effort until you work 2 jobs around your kids schedule and manage to feed and clothe 3 of them while making sure everyone(including my 2 girls) gets to practice on time. Was it selfish of me to expect my 16 year old son to do his schoolwork instead of goofing off? He knew what the consequences were and chose his own path.

 

Believe it or not my son has managed to graduate HS, serve time in the air force ,and is currently in grad school getting a degree in biology. My 2 other children are also well rounded and well educated.

 

If you think I taught my son to shirk his responsibility to his teammates you have the right to that opinion. I hope i taught my children by example that their first responsibility is to their family.

Edited September 30, 2004 by barb

[lazarus]

borb,

 

no, as a male i cant really know what it is like to raise kids as a single mom. and, obviously, the "effort" comment was out of line. frankly, i have seen enough parents who lose interest in their kids when they grow from cute to challenging (like puppies) that i truly appreciate parents who do care.

 

still, i cant agree with removing a kid from a team during the season as a form of punishment. but my view comes from a very different experience. more than 20 years of trying to teach kids the proverbial "lessons of life". kids from diverse backgrounds ranging from good homes like yours to homes so negligent that it would make you want to cry. oh yeah, the kids have won some championships. but that isnt what it is all about.

 

i admit my first response was a knee jerk. but you touched a nerve. some parents do use ball to punish their kids because it is easy. i apologize for grouping you with them.

[barb]

borb,

 

no, as a male i cant really know what it is like to raise kids as a single mom. and, obviously, the "effort" comment was out of line. frankly, i have seen enough parents who lose interest in their kids when they grow from cute to challenging (like puppies) that i truly appreciate parents who do care.

 

still, i cant agree with removing a kid from a team during the season as a form of punishment. but my view comes from a very different experience. more than 20 years of trying to teach kids the proverbial "lessons of life". kids from diverse backgrounds ranging from good homes like yours to homes so negligent that it would make you want to cry. oh yeah, the kids have won some championships. but that isnt what it is all about.

 

i admit my first response was a knee jerk. but you touched a nerve. some parents do use ball to punish their kids because it is easy. i apologize for grouping you with them.

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Apology accepted... I appreciate your concern however you shouldn't be so quick to judge everyone from such a narrow negative perspective. The question was, however, whether or not Counties , schools or coaches should be responsible for setting GPA requirements for sports. My experience with this particular coach was such that I wouldn't let him order lunch for my son, much less decide what his level of academic performance should be. I have read some posts from some obviously caring and forward- thinking coaches who have set higher standards for their athletes and they should be commended. Unfortunately, not all coaches share this level of concern. It is up to us as parents to set these standards and ensure they are met. Do some kids lose because of negligent parents? Of course. And having teachers and coaches set higher standards for these children can help steer them in the right direction. But in reality, we put enough on these poor educators as it is without expecting them to be parents as well. Some kids will lose.

Edited October 1, 2004 by barb

[trackman]

Barb,

"I could really care less what rules apply to athletes. My children need only worry about one rule... Mine...."

 

Why did you come on and dump on some coach? Laz was right the first time. It's terrific that you had a high school sport to hold over your son's head were able to use that sport and the coach to turn out a successful son. It's too bad you couldn't have done something else than to deny your son and others the opportunity to work together.

 

I'm sure he wasn't coming home and watching TV and playing video games until he started playing baseball!