Coaches telling her players that they stink

[bball3555]

Just wondering what actions other parents would take if their childs coach told them they stink? I personally think this is very unprofessional. If coaches talk like this in front of our kids, its no wonder the kids talk trash on the floor to each other during a game. Does any one know what TSSAA rules are for this kind of behavior.

[bball3555]

Coach T must have changed the word that was actually used, because stink was not what the coach told our players.

[mlj312]

I agree with you....coaches should not act that way, but they do. It has been my experience that there is nothing that you can do. If you react, you are the one with the problem and your dd suffers more. It's a frustrating situation.

[coachgat]

Coach T must have changed the word that was actually used, because stink was not what the coach told our players.

 

It's really a situational thing. What kind of relationship do the kids have with their coach. Does that coach build them up after doing that? Does your team have a problem with mental toughness? Are you the kind of parent that have a problem with your child being yelled at? It's a lot to digest. Was it a lost to a team that they should have won? Were they not playing to their capabilities? If you can think about it with these few questions in mind then what they said probably wasn't all that bad or untrue for the situation. I tell my girls when they are stinking up the gym all the time, if they are, and I also tell them when they are playing great. They want a coach to be real with them and not to suger coat it. Sugar coating will get you beat by 50! I remember when my girls use to say good job on turnovers to their teammate when I first got the job. That's not a good job. That's sugar coating. There are other words to use to encourage a turnover but good job isn't it. We don't do that anymore. I respect them as young ladies but at the same time I treat them like I do my own, I stab them in the chest(heart). I tell them the truth to their face. If it hurts their feelings, good, now we can heal and grow from it. I know I'm gonna hear it for posting this but oh well. It won't be the first time.

Edited December 29, 2006 by coachgat

[trottercoach]

I agree with you....coaches should not act that way, but they do. It has been my experience that there is nothing that you can do. If you react, you are the one with the problem and your dd suffers more. It's a frustrating situation.

sometimes its not whats said thats the problem anyhow. some folks just cant stand the idea of someone criticizing their daughter so they dont analyze the situation for whether what the coach is saying is the truth or not. not saying this is the situation here. i have two daughters (my princesses) both play ball and i try to have them be honest with themselves. whatever the S---- word is, if it reflects how they are playing then see it in that context and not as a personal assault because that is i'm sure how it would be meant.

[bball3555]

I don't have a problem with my child being screamed at for the right reason. But I do think a better choice of words could have been used. On top of that it was not even during a game. I also think that a coach should not single out just a few players and tell them how bad they do everything, if they are that bad how did they even make the team?

[muffin]

Just wondering what actions other parents would take if their childs coach told them they stink? I personally think this is very unprofessional. If coaches talk like this in front of our kids, its no wonder the kids talk trash on the floor to each other during a game. Does any one know what TSSAA rules are for this kind of behavior.

As far as against the rules it is not,it has been my experince that some kids have to be pampered before they respond to what the coach wants done,and some has to be chewed out with choice words before they respond,and some others cannot have a word said to them,they either already know what the situation needs,or if they are done either way they go into a shell,and might as well be benched.

 

That is the way kids are in todays society,each child is differrent.

 

Hope this makes sense?

[Set A Virp]

I don't have a problem with my child being screamed at for the right reason. But I do think a better choice of words could have been used. On top of that it was not even during a game. I also think that a coach should not single out just a few players and tell them how bad they do everything, if they are that bad how did they even make the team?

 

How did they?

 

 

You can choose to play or just quit. You know what to expect from now on so don't be surprised about what happens in the future. I would guess that most people would side with the coach.

[coachgat]

I don't have a problem with my child being screamed at for the right reason. But I do think a better choice of words could have been used. On top of that it was not even during a game. I also think that a coach should not single out just a few players and tell them how bad they do everything, if they are that bad how did they even make the team?

 

I understand what you are saying in regards to the choices of words but that is different with every coach. I personally don't use profanity but when a few players are the one's making the mistakes, it's not singling them out... it's calling them out. It's an ugly part of coaching but it's a must if you want to right the ship. It happens on every level when a few players that should be contributing to the team don't step up. When that happens as parents we should give the child no room to complain, back up the coach 100%. I remember when I was a player and we use to get the paddle. One game at half time (football) our coach was upset with our execution. It was a big rival game and the score was 6-6 at the half. Well, he called for the first team defense and first team offense to get licks... guess what, I was on both, never left the field so I got double of what most only got once. Yes we had to remove the butt pads too...OUCH! I still feel those licks.

I remember going home and telling my "mommie" about it and you know what she did? She said so! Now, I won't use those tactics but my mom being a former athlete showed me something. My coach was in charge and me coming home to her wasn't going to make her come change his coaching style. Everyone knew this coach and he was a proven winner. I knew what I was getting into when I tried out for the team. I learned a lot from that coach, not paddling techniques either. He really cared about us and it was demonstrated as the year went on.

[DCHS]

A coach is not all powerful nor should he or she be treat as such. Coaches should not say whatever they want. Remember, the coach is suppose to be the adult and should act like one. However, basketball is an emotional game. You can go from 15 pts up and in 5 minutes be 5 pts down. Sometime you get caught up in the moment and say things you dont mean. If the coach did it in the heat of the moment and came back to their senses then I would understand. I promise I have heard moms and pops yell worse things at an official or coach than "they s---."

Edited December 29, 2006 by DCHS

[ldcoach]

I think you have hit on some of the debate that many people have with Bobby Knight. How much of what a coach does is acceptable if there is success in the program? I think we have to remember that these are teenage student athletes and the coach is supposed to be the adult. Yes, there are times when criticism is necessary--that's part of coaching and there are even times when personal criticism is necessary, but there should be limits. As a teacher and a role model, there have to be some limits to how far we go in trying to bring the most out of an athlete. Every player is different and I have personally seen some players trying to compete with tears in their eyes after a time out huddle with the coach. I guess the bottom line is how much are you willing to accept in the pursuit of winning and success?

[coachgat]

I think you have hit on some of the debate that many people have with Bobby Knight. How much of what a coach does is acceptable if there is success in the program? I think we have to remember that these are teenage student athletes and the coach is supposed to be the adult. Yes, there are times when criticism is necessary--that's part of coaching and there are even times when personal criticism is necessary, but there should be limits. As a teacher and a role model, there have to be some limits to how far we go in trying to bring the most out of an athlete. Every player is different and I have personally seen some players trying to compete with tears in their eyes after a time out huddle with the coach. I guess the bottom line is how much are you willing to accept in the pursuit of winning and success?

 

 

great post. However, a simple phrase like, I'm disappointed in you can makes some players cry, especially when they really care about what their coach thinks about them. It can be said in a soft voice. I have a few players that all the yelling in the word wouldn't phase them but let me say to them in a soft voice something profound like that... As a matter of fact I've had a parent tell me to keep doing what I do to toughen their daughter up. So you have two sides of the coin in this regards. Some want the tough love and others don't.