Coaches telling her players that they stink

[FlatCreekJim]

All of this is OUR fault. We sit in the stands and cheer for wins and jeer bad officials, post for lossing coaches to be fired, bad mouth other team, teams coaches and their efforts. We have moved High School athletics to the college level of the 70's. Just look at the post on this site, MINE INCLUDED . We demand excellence. At our school we have young ladies and men who don't even try out for BB because it's tough. They could start at other schools. I'm not arguing right or wrong. This is the sum of our parts. What'd I just say?

[noonesfool]

FlatCreekJim you covered some of my thoughts. My biggest concern is the double standard thought process of some fans, parents and athletes when coaches that win big time and step over the line it is tolerated or acceptable. Yet when a young coach or a coach who struggles uses the same language or methods of some successful coaches it is now unacceptable. My point, the language doesn't really help and successful coaches would still win with more positive language towards their athletes. But I do enjoy listening to the double standard beefs that many apply to coaches.

[bucdaddio]

When I played ball as a youngster, we got yelled at, at least as bad as I've seen today. But we knew that was part of it, and I understood that there was a purpose behind it. We didn't take it as a personal attack everytime the coach got all over us.

 

Now my daughter plays, and I hear her or a teammate talking about the coach talking mean to them, and I say "Why do you think he was doing that?". And the answer usually comes down to somebody was messing up, or not putting forth the effort, and he is trying to get in their face and challenge them to pick it up a notch. I tell my daughter that it's not about the yelling, it's about how you respond to the thing that's causing the yelling.

 

The ones who get their feelings hurt that easy, maybe need to think about doing something else, or playing rec league ball or something more laid back. I have seen coaches that maybe get a little mean or personal, and that's not right, but mostly I think it's over-reaction and over-sensitivity.

 

Just my opinion, I could be wrong.

[Whitey]

I have coached for years and am not saying this to say that such makes me an expert. The kids we are seeing in athletics these days are the result of the "self-esteem" curriculum that Tennessee's system of education has bought in to. The result over the years has been an increase in incompetence. From kindergarten on they have been told at every mistake that "it's alright --- you did a good job!" All of this because we don't want to hurt or ruin the kid's self esteem. So, when they get bigger and it's time to get ready to enter the adult world, they are incompetent. No matter how much you tell them in a positive way that they are good, they know inside that they stink. The result is a loss of self-esteem.

 

Quit lying to the kids. If they make a bad pass, don't say "unlucky", no, say "that was a bad pass and don't do it again." Encourage them to work hard to improve their competence and get ready for the world of work because when they leave school, their boss isn't going to care about their self-esteem. These kids will not just be competing with the kids from their rival town in the other county, they will be competing with people from all over the world for their jobs and their livelyhood. Oh, I also work in Human Resources for a major company in this State and have seen a major decrease in the kids coming to us out of High School looking for jobs. My heart goes out to them because they are not anywhere near prepared to enter the workplace (this is where their incompetence really hurts them.)

 

On the comment by the coach, maybe the coach is just frustrated with trying to make chicken salad out of chicken stink!

[greenevillefan]

I have coached for years and am not saying this to say that such makes me an expert. The kids we are seeing in athletics these days are the result of the "self-esteem" curriculum that Tennessee's system of education has bought in to. The result over the years has been an increase in incompetence. From kindergarten on they have been told at every mistake that "it's alright --- you did a good job!" All of this because we don't want to hurt or ruin the kid's self esteem. So, when they get bigger and it's time to get ready to enter the adult world, they are incompetent. No matter how much you tell them in a positive way that they are good, they know inside that they stink. The result is a loss of self-esteem.

 

Quit lying to the kids. If they make a bad pass, don't say "unlucky", no, say "that was a bad pass and don't do it again." Encourage them to work hard to improve their competence and get ready for the world of work because when they leave school, their boss isn't going to care about their self-esteem. These kids will not just be competing with the kids from their rival town in the other county, they will be competing with people from all over the world for their jobs and their livelyhood. Oh, I also work in Human Resources for a major company in this State and have seen a major decrease in the kids coming to us out of High School looking for jobs. My heart goes out to them because they are not anywhere near prepared to enter the workplace (this is where their incompetence really hurts them.)

 

On the comment by the coach, maybe the coach is just frustrated with trying to make chicken salad out of chicken stink!

Good point. Quit babying these kids and teach them responsobility. Teach them to be accountable for their actions. Most parents baby these students and give them whatever they want. We need to quit handing things out and start helping kids out.

[bucdaddio]

I have coached for years and am not saying this to say that such makes me an expert. The kids we are seeing in athletics these days are the result of the "self-esteem" curriculum that Tennessee's system of education has bought in to. The result over the years has been an increase in incompetence. From kindergarten on they have been told at every mistake that "it's alright --- you did a good job!" All of this because we don't want to hurt or ruin the kid's self esteem. So, when they get bigger and it's time to get ready to enter the adult world, they are incompetent. No matter how much you tell them in a positive way that they are good, they know inside that they stink. The result is a loss of self-esteem.

 

Quit lying to the kids. If they make a bad pass, don't say "unlucky", no, say "that was a bad pass and don't do it again." Encourage them to work hard to improve their competence and get ready for the world of work because when they leave school, their boss isn't going to care about their self-esteem. These kids will not just be competing with the kids from their rival town in the other county, they will be competing with people from all over the world for their jobs and their livelyhood. Oh, I also work in Human Resources for a major company in this State and have seen a major decrease in the kids coming to us out of High School looking for jobs. My heart goes out to them because they are not anywhere near prepared to enter the workplace (this is where their incompetence really hurts them.)

 

On the comment by the coach, maybe the coach is just frustrated with trying to make chicken salad out of chicken stink!

 

That's what I was trying to say. Well put, Whitey!

[bball3555]

Let me ask you this question, When your child does something wrong do you tell him/her that they stink? I don't. And I would not tell another persons child that they stink either, I guess I just was raised better or have more respect for a human being.

[NOMOORE]

Let me ask you this question, When your child does something wrong do you tell him/her that they stink? I don't. And I would not tell another persons child that they stink either, I guess I just was raised better or have more respect for a human being.

 

Good luck in your child's future rec league games. Just a warning, rec league coaches get mad too. It may not be the environment your looking for either.

Happy Stinkin New Year! Just kidding.......... I couldn't help myself.

Edited December 29, 2006 by NOMOORE

[bball3555]

We have been putting up with this for 3 or 4 years now, it's just getting very old.

 

 

I coached for two years myself and NEVER told one of the kids that they s--k.

[PTSportsWriter]

All upset parents at coaches should be required to coach a week or two of high pressure prep ball so we can judge their reponses.

 

JMO

 

[bentoneric]

I coached high school and college for over 20 years and have used yelling as a motivational tool but also if a player can learn to deal with that pressure during practice then when they go to the free throw line with 5 seconds left and the score tied their knees won't be weak. Since I stopped coaching the kids that I hear from the most are ones that I was hardest on. This includes male and female athletes. I can remember one time in practice years ago where I asked one young lady if she was stupid. She got mad as I expected and played even worse for a few minutes. When we took a break she came over and said "That was a question wasn't it?" I said yes and she said the answer is NO and I will stop making the same mistakes over and over. Today she is married and has 3 kids and still goes out of her way to talk to me when she sees me in town. I would not have used that tactic on all girls but I knew she was smart enough to figure it out. The only problem was with other girls and their parents as a few could not believe I called her stupid. Many people hear what they want instead of listening to the meaning of words and how they are used. Her parents had no problem because their daughter understood the end result. It depends on the way things are said, the reasoning behind it and whether the player will benefit from the tactic as wheather it should be used.

Edited December 29, 2006 by bentoneric

[bucdaddio]

Good point. I try to explain to my daughter and her friends that, if they will notice, some players get yelled at worse than others for the same type of thing. This isn't because he dislikes you more, it's because he EXPECTS more from you. It serves no purpose to fuss at a girl who just can't do it, but a girl who is capable of great things should be pushed to reach her potential...................