coaches

[1-3pointer]

What if a coach is real hard on 1 player if she makes a mistake the coach is all over her and when the other players make the same mistake the coach says its all right just watch it. I understand that the coach is hard on this player because they think the player can take it and use her as a sounding board for the other players because they do not think they could handle it but when do you say something to the coach because of that player is getting like why even play all I get is yelled at. Should I as a parent go to the coach and say something or just watch my daughter get where she hates the game? Most coaches do not want any bad comments from parents or your kid sits the bench so what do you do.

[coachgat]

QUOTE(1-3pointer @ Feb 11 2007 - 03:55 AM) 826367084[/snapback]

What if a coach is real hard on 1 player if she makes a mistake the coach is all over her and when the other players make the same mistake the coach says its all right just watch it. I understand that the coach is hard on this player because they think the player can take it and use her as a sounding board for the other players because they do not think they could handle it but when do you say something to the coach because of that player is getting like why even play all I get is yelled at. Should I as a parent go to the coach and say something or just watch my daughter get where she hates the game? Most coaches do not want any bad comments from parents or your kid sits the bench so what do you do.

 

 

 

What if the coach never says anything to her when she makes a mistake? This would typically mean that he has given up on her and no longer requires her to be the best that she can be. Are you licking the wounds of your child or are you getting in the pitty party that she has placed her self in? These are two concepts that make me thankful for the mother I have as a former athlete. I tried to pull that card when I was younger and my mother simply didn't want to hear it. She basically taught me to deal with it since I knew what I was getting into before I tried out and made the team and was a starter. She was a former athlete and understood that I was not being mistreated but my coach saw what most athletes don't see in themselves...the potential. It's up to the coaches and PARENTS to help that child reach the Kinetic by not babying them when it gets a little rough. If you really look into the old adage...When the going gets tough, the tough get going! It would make a lot of since if the tough are really tough or if the tough are just pretending to be tough. Because according to that adage, when the going gets tough, the tough starts doing something positive. This is my take on it. You also have to look at what grade this player is in. If she is an upperclassman then she cannot be allowed to make the same mistakes over and over that an 8th or 9th grader will typically make. I'm also quite sure that the coach probably gets on all the girls the same way but being a parent you may have a small case of tunnel vision because it's your daughter. I hope you understand the overwhelming responsibility that your coach has and he/she really needs and wants your support to make your child the best they can be or atleast in the right direction of that. Remember this...To whom much is given, much is required. Be thankful she falls in that category and simply just support the cause to the best of your ability.

[1-3pointer]

Coachgat, no I do not have tunnel vision I have coach for over 25 years and I see it first hand. My daughter is not an upperclassman and she makes less mistakes than alot of the other players I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM with a coach getting on my child either when they make mistakes and I understand that some kids cant take it either when a coach is always on them that is why I said they are using my daughter as a sounding board to get their point across to the other kids. But when the coach only gets on them all of the time then what? when I coach I got on some kids harder than other because they could handle it and some kids could not but I got my point across to them all and ALWAYS ENDED ON A POSITIVE NOTE. my question was should I say something to the coach about them only downing her or should I just let it go until she hates it and quits.

[knight2]

It is how your coach is if they are understanding and you bring it to them as a question they might not make it harder on them but then again you are correct most coaches do not like it when a parent says something to them they think their gods and only they know whats best. So to answer question? does she play alot or does she sit the bench that might make it easer if she plays alot.

[1-3pointer]

Yes, she gets to play alot in the games and even started some of them. She loves the game but she has said it is not any fun anymore because she has said to me that she understands why the coach gets on her sometimes but she does not understand why the coach will not get on to some of the other players when they make the same mistakes and she does. Not all coaches think their gods but yes some do. I do not know if they would be understanding or not that is why I have not said anything yet.

[#12fan]

Maybe you could encourage your daughter to ask the coach about this herself. That way she hopefully gets the answers she needs and she dosen't suffer since you didn't say anything to the coach. Most coaches wouldn't have a problem answering a question from one of their players as long as she asks him/her respectfully and this teaches your daughter how to fight her own battles so to speak.

[mchale24]

QUOTE(1-3pointer @ Feb 11 2007 - 09:01 AM) 826367116[/snapback]

Yes, she gets to play alot in the games and even started some of them. She loves the game but she has said it is not any fun anymore because she has said to me that she understands why the coach gets on her sometimes but she does not understand why the coach will not get on to some of the other players when they make the same mistakes and she does. Not all coaches think their gods but yes some do. I do not know if they would be understanding or not that is why I have not said anything yet.

 

 

My suggestion would be to encourage your daughter to go and talk to the coach about their concerns if they are serious enough for her to quit. Most coaches that I have been around encourage this since the girls are in high school and need to learn to communicate with adults about issues more. I would not suggest that you talk with the coach yourself.

Encourage your daughter to work harder, let it go in one ear and the other, channel it to her play. Be thankful that she is being instructed and that he cares enough to do that. Sounding board or not. That is just my opinion.

[coachgat]

QUOTE(1-3pointer @ Feb 11 2007 - 07:46 AM) 826367109[/snapback]

Coachgat, no I do not have tunnel vision I have coach for over 25 years and I see it first hand. My daughter is not an upperclassman and she makes less mistakes than alot of the other players I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM with a coach getting on my child either when they make mistakes and I understand that some kids cant take it either when a coach is always on them that is why I said they are using my daughter as a sounding board to get their point across to the other kids. But when the coach only gets on them all of the time then what? when I coach I got on some kids harder than other because they could handle it and some kids could not but I got my point across to them all and ALWAYS ENDED ON A POSITIVE NOTE. my question was should I say something to the coach about them only downing her or should I just let it go until she hates it and quits.

 

 

 

I understand your delimma from that perspective. Remember I can only go from what you said to what my interpretation is based on what I go through as a coach. This is generally the case with most of my parents over the years. I want the best out of my players and I'm going to get on to them when they aren't giving me their best, be it with the mental aspect or their physical play. I would suggest that your daughter sit back and think about the big picture and then talk respectfully to her coach. I don't know how her coach handle internal issues but I handle it like a family meeting when there is something major with a person feeling like they are being mistreated or always picked on. Once they see or hear other players that feel the same way then hopefully they will realize that it really isn't just them getting yelled at but if they are guilty of something why wouldn't they get yelled at or whatever method the coach employs to get them back focused? I hope everything works out for your daughter and that she can hang in there.

[DCHS]

Maybe she does not have fun with basketball because she is burned out. We (society) push sports pretty hard on our kids today. Sometimes our kids tell us they love the game or that they want to play because they think that is what we want to hear. Our children don't want to let us down. Using the coach could be an easy out. It is easier to have a person to blame for why we feel a certain way. Dont know though. Just trying to give a different perspective.

[basketballknowitall]

Very few coaches treat all the players the same. Our coach is good at treating the stars the same as the others. Always demanding the best from all. The coach at Richland, who I would never play for, treats players different depending on who they are, who their mama and daddy is, or who they are kin to. He will yell at one player while letting another do the same thing and nothing is said. He is really a joke of a coach. Without the 2 girls he has recruited to Richland, they would be a below average team.

[dkoons52]

QUOTE(basketballknowitall @ Feb 11 2007 - 12:48 PM) 826367315[/snapback]

Very few coaches treat all the players the same. Our coach is good at treating the stars the same as the others. Always demanding the best from all. The coach at Richland, who I would never play for, treats players different depending on who they are, who their mama and daddy is, or who they are kin to. He will yell at one player while letting another do the same thing and nothing is said. He is really a joke of a coach. Without the 2 girls he has recruited to Richland, they would be a below average team.

 

 

 

Who has he recruited to Richland???

[jamieroper]

QUOTE(basketballknowitall @ Feb 11 2007 - 12:48 PM) 826367315[/snapback]

Very few coaches treat all the players the same. Our coach is good at treating the stars the same as the others. Always demanding the best from all. The coach at Richland, who I would never play for, treats players different depending on who they are, who their mama and daddy is, or who they are kin to. He will yell at one player while letting another do the same thing and nothing is said. He is really a joke of a coach. Without the 2 girls he has recruited to Richland, they would be a below average team.

 

 

 

DO WHAT? To my knowledge, the only girl on this team that is not from this school district is my daughter who moved here before her soph. year when our family relocated here from Alabama. So who did Richland recruit?????

 

Chow Ming does not count. Although we did send a team to China to speak with her family, she has yet to play a game at Richland.