give up coaching

[Bigtimer]

i have beed involved in some type of coach for around 10 years. i am currently in my 7 th year at the high school level. i am a nonfaculty coach and work a full time job in the Community. i never really cared what other people thought of my coaching or style, until now. we have had a very successful 7 years, and almost never any compliments to myself on my behalf. its like i dont have anything to do with their child success. yes i know as an assistant coach you don't have the glory of the head coach, but i put in the same or if not more time into this program. it upsets me to see my Community not understand how much i do for it. please don't think that i am begging for credit or anything. it's not that. i have been i the only true assistant at this school for 7 years. i was the freshman coach and helped the varisty the first 4 years and now focus more on the varisty. we have went through 3 freshman coaches over that time period. my family have always supported me after the games, my players and family seem to support me( i'm sure there are a few bleacher coaches among them), but i always hear from my family, "well you did't get this or you aren't mentioned on the radio broadcast." until now it didn't matter. this year hasn't been as successful as the past, but we are doing ok. is this a sigh that i need to get out of coaching, or a career change?

 

please give me some advice

[BlueTiger]

I hear you. I was in a similar spot for a few more years than you. I've been a top varsity assistant for many years. I've run the B-team at the same time. And I've been an eighth grade and a freshman coach. One year I was on the bench either as a varsity assistant or running a lower level game for 60-plus games. All the while, I was teaching a full academic load. Even with your consistent success and a career dedicated to kids' growth, there are still always going to be some in the crowd who project the attitude that you are out to get Johnny or Bobby or Seth. That's just the nature of it these days. Mother Teresa would eventually catch heck over playing time issues. In a successful year you don't hear it as much. But in one of those down talent years where you're really working extra hard to develop (in basketball and life) kids with marginal abilities, some become more bold in their criticism. So....

 

I think you have to weigh the pros and cons about how you feel about what you're doing. As a Volunteer, I think you should have even more freedom to be honest with yourself. What keeps you coming back year after year? If you're looking for personal recognition in the newspaper or on TV, frustration will always be there. Look hard at what your motivation is for staying in coaching. Assess how thick your skin can be when it comes to unjust criticism. If it eats at you too much, and you don't need it (the Volunteer coaching job,) you may decide that there are other ways that you can be a mentor to kids. If it's more a love of basketball that has you hooked, if you're NOT coaching, you'll have more freedom to be around basketball on YOUR terms. It could even make the home front more relaxed without you always being frustrated about something that you don't even need to begin with.

 

I hope I haven't been too negative. If you find that coaching is something that you really want to stay with for the right reasons, then you SHOULD. Just as kids can sense your frustration in life, they can also sense, feed off of, and benefit from an adult who models a joyful passion for life. I hope you find peace in your own thoughts. I'm working on getting there myself.

[divepix]

I don't know your spiritual philosophy and it is your business, but as a Christian I have learned that if you work for rewards and recognition that are temporary in this life, you will either get them or get frustrated.

However, if you work to help others with no regard for recognition - you will either get rewards in this life or eternity - and eternity is better.

As a suggestion, if you love coaching - offer your services to a Community center, church, YMCA, etc. and coach the younger kids. Concentrate on impacting lives, not getting wins. It is a very rewarding experience with less pressure

[arnwine]

After 20 plus years of doing it all (head coach;asst; Volunteer etc..) I think that no one gives coaches enough credit. Part of the problem is we are our own worst enemy.

 

Think about it, how many coaches seek the glory for self, not team?

 

I enjoy being around the young people, and the teaching, and being part of a team. I have quit expecting, and prefer not having, a lot of recognition. When a player comes in from college and drops by to say hello, that is their thank you!

 

If you are in it for any other reason I'm afraid you'll be disappointed. My good frien Coach Neely at East Ridge has been doing this for over 40 years, and the young coaches give her little if any respect. Too many of us quit because of the parents. We need to remember why we coach, not to win, but to teach.

[TheJJ]

Hang in there man im not a coach, but i am a player and i think that even though you havent got the credit, you have made a difference in those kids' lives and they'll never forget you and thats the attention you deserve and so much more. And I'm usually not this complimentive, so i believe in you man.

[coach15]

I am 24 years old I have been coaching in some way since I was 17. Mostly of course on a Volunteer basis. if you are in coaching for the "thank you" and "oh your great" you are probably in the wrong line of work. You have to love coaching the sport you coach, love working with kids, and not worry about the rewards. It doesn't matter what the majority think of you. It is those one or two parents or kids that come up to you and say "thank you" those are the ones that are great and make you feel good. And want to coach.

[Bigtimer]

these are all great comments, but i not in it for the wins as one of you said. i get no win/loss record as an assistant. it is just so frustrating that all the work i put in no one really knows except the internal program. i guess thats all that matters, but when your head coach doesn't actknowlegde your help to the locals whether radio, paper, or heresay it builds up. yes they are the HEAD coach. they get all the figers pointed at after a win or loss. i feel that in my situiation i have more control than the normal assistant coach.

 

yes i said that no one understand how much work we put into our program. you have parents that coach Johnny or Shelly in jr pro and only practices once a week and play one game on the weekend. yet they think they know it all how to fix your team and try to give advice. that my number one problem.

 

number 2 is the AAU system. this is getting out of control. it is all about how can get the best players from surrounding areas, instead of keeping your players together on building a program. AAU is al about the money!! most team now don't even play in the acutal tourny.

 

i gotten off the tract. i have cooled down a little since the first post. i just hard to not feel apprectiated. i put to much pressure on myself to get the program the succeed, because i too proud of it. you are correct when you said that all it matters is whta your players believe.

i truely thats all

[OldSchoolBalla33]

Boo freakin Hoo!!!!!!!! Cry me a river!!! If you are getting payed, then WIN. I wouldnt feel this way if you were in Volunteer coaching but it doesnt sound like you are. Coaches want this simpathy all the time, yet if everyone else in the job force that earned a paycheck didnt perform, nobody would feel bad at all if they got fired, why should it be any different for you???? Go throw yourself a big frickin pitty party why dont you?

[Bigtimer]

thats ridiculous!!! as a player you have no idea what coaches go through. after a win are loss, it over with most players, but coaches dwell on it for hours upon hours. especially the losses. i not tring th win any sympathy votes here.

other coaches know what it feels like to have 10-15 year old kids with your paycheck in their mouth. when you grow up, you will understand.

[Big48Eagle]

Boo freakin Hoo!!!!!!!! Cry me a river!!! If you are getting payed, then WIN. I wouldnt feel this way if you were in Volunteer coaching but it doesnt sound like you are. Coaches want this simpathy all the time, yet if everyone else in the job force that earned a paycheck didnt perform, nobody would feel bad at all if they got fired, why should it be any different for you???? Go throw yourself a big frickin pitty party why dont you?

If you notice the trend of the thread here we are sympathizing with a guy who is obviously going through a hard time right now. If this is your opinion, try leaving it out, because he more than likely doesn't wanna hear it. Hang in there bigtimer, things will work out.