Coaches decision to play player?

[Falconbaseballbacker]

Speaking as a person who has been on both sides of this issue, there are ways to support each argument. If you coach in a small program that needs booster support, (about 95% of the schools in Tennessee) you have to have some sort of relationship with parents. Some parents take it too far and expect too much. "I do all this work and my son had better play" and then you have some who don't support the program and say "His son gets to play because he stinks up to the coach." How does a coach walk that fine line?

Parents should support the PROGRAM and not the PLAYER. I've been there, done that. It's tough to see your son sit when you feel he is better than someone in front of him. But, don't pull your support for the program. Baseball is usually on the bottom of the totem pole in the scheme of school sports. 99% of coaches play the players they think will help the team win. Bottom line. One thing that is killing school sports is the rec league mentality that all players should play and winning should not be a priority. It might not be the top priority, but I guarantee it should be in the top 3. Finding that balance of teaching, running a clean program, and winning is very tough. Give these coaches a break and have faith that a player's ability will win out in the end.

 

and, SUPPORT THE PROGRAM!!!

[Cowboys Up]

It clearly depends on the integrity of the coach. Every coach is different. I've seen very forceful parents try to win favor for their child and get it. I've also seen forceful parents come upon a coach of high integrity and it seems that parent makes no difference in the line up.

 

Parents also see things from a parental point of view...can't always see the big picture. Coaches may have a long range plan that the parents aren't privy to. There are always lots of things that parents don't know that are going on - even though they think they know. If a kid is playing and parents don't think they should be, there may be some underlying reason for it from a coaching perspective...

 

or maybe not. The coaches' integrity and knowledge of the game is all parents have to rely on. There are great coaches, good coaches, and not so good coaches. If you happen to have a great one (always the ones with the highest integrity) - consider yourself and your child very lucky - the same with a good coach. If you happen to have a not so good coach or one without integrity, then it is unfortunate for your child.

 

Overall, I think parents usually know in their gut if their coach has the integrity to do what is right for the team.

 

So the question becomes (for those with coaches that don't have the team's best interest at heart) "What do we do about it?"

[oldjimmy10]

QUOTE(Cowboys Up @ Mar 29 2007 - 10:57 AM) 826425733[/snapback]It clearly depends on the integrity of the coach. Every coach is different. I've seen very forceful parents try to win favor for their child and get it. I've also seen forceful parents come upon a coach of high integrity and it seems that parent makes no difference in the line up.

 

Parents also see things from a parental point of view...can't always see the big picture. Coaches may have a long range plan that the parents aren't privy to. There are always lots of things that parents don't know that are going on - even though they think they know. If a kid is playing and parents don't think they should be, there may be some underlying reason for it from a coaching perspective...

 

or maybe not. The coaches' integrity and knowledge of the game is all parents have to rely on. There are great coaches, good coaches, and not so good coaches. If you happen to have a great one (always the ones with the highest integrity) - consider yourself and your child very lucky - the same with a good coach. If you happen to have a not so good coach or one without integrity, then it is unfortunate for your child.

 

Overall, I think parents usually know in their gut if their coach has the integrity to do what is right for the team.

 

So the question becomes (for those with coaches that don't have the team's best interest at heart) "What do we do about it?"

 

 

Exactly! The key is integrity! Ask the kids, they know which coach really means "the best 9 will play" and which coach is not telling the truth. No matter how good a coach or liar or both...kids know which coach has that integrity. You handle it by putting it in the lap of the AD or administration to hire people with integrity. Demand the best for our kids, not just a win/loss record. The almight win/loss record gets substituted for integrity and the ones that suffer are our children.

[Falconbaseballbacker]

Let's don't get too "tree hugger" here. Of course, integrity is a key component to any program. The good ones have it and it shows. I still don't think you can put winning too far down the list. I don't think any school coach can honestly say "I don't care about winning, I just want everyone to feel good and everyone should get an equal chance." Not gonna happen. You definitely have to run a clean program, but as long as they are keeping score, winning is important. Anyone who thinks differently is kidding themselves.

[billybuck]

QUOTE(Falconbaseballbacker @ Mar 29 2007 - 11:43 AM) 826425770[/snapback]Let's don't get too "tree hugger" here. Of course, integrity is a key component to any program. The good ones have it and it shows. I still don't think you can put winning too far down the list. I don't think any school coach can honestly say "I don't care about winning, I just want everyone to feel good and everyone should get an equal chance." Not gonna happen. You definitely have to run a clean program, but as long as they are keeping score, winning is important. Anyone who thinks differently is kidding themselves.

 

 

I just wanted to add somthing to this thread about coaches with integrity. I agree that winning is important and integrity is important. What about the schools administrations though? I have a close friend who was a high school girls basketball coach. He led his team to the region for the first time in 11 years. Yes, 11 years and was fired at the end of the season basically because one of the girls moms was a big backer on a new wing of the school and did not get to play as much as she would have liked. A coach shows integrity and loyalty to his team and is rewarded by being fired after their best season in 11 years. He was only the head coach for 2 seasons. Where is the integrity in that? Should we let the best play or the rich play. High school sports are slowly becoming a joke. Don't work them to hard. let them have fun, let everyone play. This is competitive sports people, as life is competitive. Kids need to learn to compete and earn things because the real world is competition, everyone doesn't get to play!

[turnin two]

QUOTE(billybuck @ Mar 29 2007 - 12:28 PM) 826425808[/snapback]I just wanted to add somthing to this thread about coaches with integrity. I agree that winning is important and integrity is important. What about the schools administrations though? I have a close friend who was a high school girls basketball coach. He led his team to the region for the first time in 11 years. Yes, 11 years and was fired at the end of the season basically because one of the girls moms was a big backer on a new wing of the school and did not get to play as much as she would have liked. A coach shows integrity and loyalty to his team and is rewarded by being fired after their best season in 11 years. He was only the head coach for 2 seasons. Where is the integrity in that? Should we let the best play or the rich play. High school sports are slowly becoming a joke. Don't work them to hard. let them have fun, let everyone play. This is competitive sports people, as life is competitive. Kids need to learn to compete and earn things because the real world is competition, everyone doesn't get to play!

 

 

Coaches who dont play the "political game" run the risk of getting fired in the end. Everyone needs friends sometime, especially coaches. There is always someone who has political clout that wants the coach fired and if he doesnt have supporters, he's done for sure.

 

Playing less talented players with more popular last names occurred in the first game ever played and will be here at the last game played. The secret I tell people is for any child to work so hard and become so good, they have to play you. If you're "just as good as", you'll end up 2nd team to the booster club president's kid.

[riverdaleman]

QUOTE(TeamGame @ Mar 29 2007 - 07:24 AM) 826425591[/snapback]I have a situation with my son and would like some feedback. He and another team mate observed another player who had gone through another players locker, had this players wallet in his hand and was going through it. . My son told me about this and I saw an opportunity for a life lesson. I want my son to know and understand it is okay not to be politically correct, and to do the right thing. We discussed this and came up with a solution, so I thought. My son and one of the other players, a team leader, if you will, went to the coach to tell them what happened. I was proud of my son for doing this, he was doing the right thing and taking the first steps in the maturation process. Both boys told the coach what happened, and the coach told them " I will take care of it". 3 weeks later, the young criminal has not been disciplined. I was shocked and felt bad for the boys who stepped it up and tried to take on leadership roles by letting the coach now what has happened. The offender is not a stud player, very marginal at best, and is actually a distraction for the whole team. For some reason unknown to us, nothing has been done. I asked my son, do you respect your coach for the decision, or lack of. He says no. I cannot believe what has transpired. They are teachers first, not coaches, so essentially this coach has violated school policy, but what is more distressing, he has pretty much snapped the spirits of these 2 players. Too many times parents are reluctant to speak up because of the possible retaliation from the coach. ( playing time). It happens, and if you do not think it does, you are living in a dream world. My son loves the game, but he must perform in the classroom first. I was hoping this well respected coach would give some life lessons. The coaches speak of team building and how important the team is. This coach is sending mixed messages to the team by allowing this to continue. I cannot continue to support this program, nor to I trust the well being of my child with this coach anymore. Maybe if I write a big check, it will go away, maybe I could approach the coach and discuss it with him but this will most likely be unproductive. So my only real option is to pull him out at the end of the year and put in a school, most likely private, that walks the walk and talks the talk. How would you handle this situation?????

 

How do you know the coach didnt take care of it?...is it because the kid is still on the team or is it because you didnt SEE what the coach might have done...you never know the coach may have had that boy run so many poles that he might still be running...you did not mention if the boy who saw this was one fo those boys wallets but if it wasnt maybe coach asked the owner of that wallet what was going on and that boy may have asked the one who "took" the wallet to bring it to him so unless you talked to coaches about it i would say he did take care of it but if you did all those things i may not agree with leaving ...when u have 14-18 year old boys i dont care what school you go to you will always have situations come up and all of those situations in my opinion is what helps our boys become MEN

[TeamGame]

QUOTE(riverdaleman @ Mar 29 2007 - 02:38 PM) 826425922[/snapback]How do you know the coach didnt take care of it?...is it because the kid is still on the team or is it because you didnt SEE what the coach might have done...you never know the coach may have had that boy run so many poles that he might still be running...you did not mention if the boy who saw this was one fo those boys wallets but if it wasnt maybe coach asked the owner of that wallet what was going on and that boy may have asked the one who "took" the wallet to bring it to him so unless you talked to coaches about it i would say he did take care of it but if you did all those things i may not agree with leaving ...when u have 14-18 year old boys i dont care what school you go to you will always have situations come up and all of those situations in my opinion is what helps our boys become MEN

 

 

 

I appreciate your feedback. You try to teach your kids to do the right things and always have integrity. I guess since the school my son goes to is very small, it may be easier to see since everyone knows everyone.

 

???Integrity is doing the right thing, even if nobody is watching.??? /smile.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":)" border="0" alt="smile.gif" />

[canton]

QUOTE(TeamGame @ Mar 29 2007 - 08:24 AM) 826425591[/snapback]I have a situation with my son and would like some feedback. He and another team mate observed another player who had gone through another players locker, had this players wallet in his hand and was going through it. . My son told me about this and I saw an opportunity for a life lesson. I want my son to know and understand it is okay not to be politically correct, and to do the right thing. We discussed this and came up with a solution, so I thought. My son and one of the other players, a team leader, if you will, went to the coach to tell them what happened. I was proud of my son for doing this, he was doing the right thing and taking the first steps in the maturation process. Both boys told the coach what happened, and the coach told them " I will take care of it". 3 weeks later, the young criminal has not been disciplined. I was shocked and felt bad for the boys who stepped it up and tried to take on leadership roles by letting the coach now what has happened. The offender is not a stud player, very marginal at best, and is actually a distraction for the whole team. For some reason unknown to us, nothing has been done. I asked my son, do you respect your coach for the decision, or lack of. He says no. I cannot believe what has transpired. They are teachers first, not coaches, so essentially this coach has violated school policy, but what is more distressing, he has pretty much snapped the spirits of these 2 players. Too many times parents are reluctant to speak up because of the possible retaliation from the coach. ( playing time). It happens, and if you do not think it does, you are living in a dream world. My son loves the game, but he must perform in the classroom first. I was hoping this well respected coach would give some life lessons. The coaches speak of team building and how important the team is. This coach is sending mixed messages to the team by allowing this to continue. I cannot continue to support this program, nor to I trust the well being of my child with this coach anymore. Maybe if I write a big check, it will go away, maybe I could approach the coach and discuss it with him but this will most likely be unproductive. So my only real option is to pull him out at the end of the year and put in a school, most likely private, that walks the walk and talks the talk. How would you handle this situation?????

 

 

 

 

Good luck finding a private school that talks the talk and walks the walk. I know of a situation at a local private school where a player and his parent went in and told the coach that he was not going to play unless he got to play a certain position. Guess what, he plays in every game at "that" position while the player that played there last year sits the bench. And NO, this kid now playing the position is not better. At least in the public sector your child can get the shaft for free.

[bleednpurple&gold]

QUOTE(greenwheel @ Mar 28 2007 - 05:03 PM) 826425074[/snapback]Sure it does.

 

I know it does. Booster parent goes in a tells coach we may be moving. So our son can get more playing time. This parent has held office for a few years and this is second son, next district tournament game, guess who was in the starting line-up and already has several errors this year. Help us.