It's Football Time In The South

[Guest longhorns51]

I read this article in The Johnson City News and Neighbor by Bill Derby. I played football in the South and the North and alot of these are true. Just thought everyone would like to read this.

 

 

Womens Accessories:

North: Chap stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.

South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, water-proof mascara, and a fifth of beverage. Money not necessary, that's what dates are for.

 

Stadium Size:

North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

South: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

 

Fathers:

North: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.

South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

 

Campus Decor:

North: Statues of founding fathers.

South: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

 

Homecoming Queen:

North: Also a physics major.

South: Also Miss America.

 

Heroes:

North: Rudy Giuliani.

South: Archie and Peyton Manning.

 

Getting Tickets:

North: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.

South: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus, make a large financial contribution and put name on a waiting list for tickets.

 

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:

North: Students and teachers not sure if they're going to the game, because they have classes on friday.

South: Teachers cancel friday classes because they don't want to see late nightparty students that might actually make it to class.

 

Parking:

North: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.

South: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

 

Game Day:

North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.

South: Every student wakes up, has a beverage for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting 'Gameday Live' to get on camera and waive to the people up north who wonder why 'Game Day Live' is never broadcast from their campus.

 

Tailgating:

North: Ram meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.

South: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance from the Dave Mathews Band,... who come over during breaks and ask for a drink from a football beverage.

 

Getting to the Stadium:

North: You ask 'Where's the stadium?' When you find it, you walk right in.

South: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it is the state's third largest city.

 

Concessions:

North: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.

South: Drinks served in a plastic cup: with the home teams mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for a football beverage.

 

When National Anthem is Played:

North: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.

South: 100,00 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

 

The Smell in the Air After the First Score:

North: Nothing Changes.

South: Fireworks,Gunpowder (from the cannon in the end zone).

 

Commentary (Male):

North: 'Nice play'

South: 'Dangit, you slow #!*")##- tackel him and break his legs.'

 

Commentary (Female):

North: 'My, this certainly is a violent sport'.

South: 'Dangit, you slow #!*)##- tackel him and break his legs.'

 

Announcers:

North: Neutral and paid.

South: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

 

After the Game:

North: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.

South:Another @@@@ of ribs go on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more beverage, and planning begins for next week's game.

 

Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the glories of Southern football.

[Rhea Co.]

That is good, and true. /roflol.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":roflol:" border="0" alt="roflol.gif" />

[Nitro14]

Really enjoyed that, Thanks!

[jlmac4]

I read this article in The Johnson City News and Neighbor by Bill Derby. I played football in the South and the North and alot of these are true. Just thought everyone would like to read this.

 

 

Womens Accessories:

North: Chap stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.

South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, water-proof mascara, and a fifth of beverage. Money not necessary, that's what dates are for.

 

Stadium Size:

North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

South: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

 

Fathers:

North: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.

South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

 

Campus Decor:

North: Statues of founding fathers.

South: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

 

Homecoming Queen:

North: Also a physics major.

South: Also Miss America.

 

Heroes:

North: Rudy Giuliani.

South: Archie and Peyton Manning.

 

Getting Tickets:

North: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.

South: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus, make a large financial contribution and put name on a waiting list for tickets.

 

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:

North: Students and teachers not sure if they're going to the game, because they have classes on friday.

South: Teachers cancel friday classes because they don't want to see late nightparty students that might actually make it to class.

 

Parking:

North: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.

South: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

 

Game Day:

North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.

South: Every student wakes up, has a beverage for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting 'Gameday Live' to get on camera and waive to the people up north who wonder why 'Game Day Live' is never broadcast from their campus.

 

Tailgating:

North: Ram meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.

South: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance from the Dave Mathews Band,... who come over during breaks and ask for a drink from a football beverage.

 

Getting to the Stadium:

North: You ask 'Where's the stadium?' When you find it, you walk right in.

South: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it is the state's third largest city.

 

Concessions:

North: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.

South: Drinks served in a plastic cup: with the home teams mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for a football beverage.

 

When National Anthem is Played:

North: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.

South: 100,00 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

 

The Smell in the Air After the First Score:

North: Nothing Changes.

South: Fireworks,Gunpowder (from the cannon in the end zone).

 

Commentary (Male):

North: 'Nice play'

South: 'Dangit, you slow #!*")##- tackel him and break his legs.'

 

Commentary (Female):

North: 'My, this certainly is a violent sport'.

South: 'Dangit, you slow #!*)##- tackel him and break his legs.'

 

Announcers:

North: Neutral and paid.

South: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

 

After the Game:

North: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.

South:Another @@@@ of ribs go on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more beverage, and planning begins for next week's game.

 

Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the glories of Southern football.

 

Been saving this one until I had time to reply. What a laughable post. Enjoyed it immensely. Where did you play football in the north? Probably nowhere worth mentioning, as obviously you and the bufoon who wrote this could combine your knowledge of football in the north and not fill a thimble. Just exemplifies people's prejudices, ignorance when it comes to the north vs the south thing, and it's done by both sides. Like how people who live in the north(not yankees-the war is over....you lost....get over it)view southerners. Truth is, when it comes to football traditions, fan support etc., it's as good in the north as it is anywhere.

Stadium Size:

North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

South: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Actually, 3 of the 5 biggest stadiums in the country are in the north(Ohio St.,Michigan,Penn St.). Outside of Texas, name 3 h.s. stadiums that hold 20,000...... Ohio, Pa alone overall fan support/attendance blows the rest of the south away in that regard. I would love to see what h.s. football playoff attendance in the south would be if the temperature was below 25 degrees without wind chill. We pack 'em in no matter how cold it gets, or how much snow flies. Down here, you bum rush Kroger's and prepare to be stuck in the house if the word snow is mentioned. Probably the funniest thing I've seen down here. You really don't have a clue how "fanatical" and diehard fans are up north.

When National Anthem is Played:

North: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up. Comical.

South: 100,00 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony. Only ONE stadium in the entire south holds 100,000(UT). And Free Bird is NOT the national anthem!

The rest of it is even funnier. People in the north go through the same hardships in getting tickets, getting to stadiums,etc. Tailgate and party just as hard. The glories of northern football are just as rich in tradition as anywhere else in the country, and in some ways even better.The game was invented in the north. Most all of the innovations and advancements happened in the north. College and pro hall of fame is in the north. There is a reason for that, and being from the south, you wouldn't understand it. There is a saying that follows; "Where you stand depends on where you sit". Think about it. It's the way it is no matter where you're from in this great country. For 40 years I lived less than a half hour away from the cradle of football....Stark County Ohio. From where I sat, and also from where I'm sitting now here in TN, nothing in this football universe comes close to that.

[hubjr]

North, or South... It don't matter 'cause it's PLAY-OFF TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[jcm]

Been saving this one until I had time to reply. What a laughable post. Enjoyed it immensely. Where did you play football in the north? Probably nowhere worth mentioning, as obviously you and the bufoon who wrote this could combine your knowledge of football in the north and not fill a thimble. Just exemplifies people's prejudices, ignorance when it comes to the north vs the south thing, and it's done by both sides. Like how people who live in the north(not yankees-the war is over....you lost....get over it)view southerners. Truth is, when it comes to football traditions, fan support etc., it's as good in the north as it is anywhere.

Stadium Size:

North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

South: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Actually, 3 of the 5 biggest stadiums in the country are in the north(Ohio St.,Michigan,Penn St.). Outside of Texas, name 3 h.s. stadiums that hold 20,000...... Ohio, Pa alone overall fan support/attendance blows the rest of the south away in that regard. I would love to see what h.s. football playoff attendance in the south would be if the temperature was below 25 degrees without wind chill. We pack 'em in no matter how cold it gets, or how much snow flies. Down here, you bum rush Kroger's and prepare to be stuck in the house if the word snow is mentioned. Probably the funniest thing I've seen down here. You really don't have a clue how "fanatical" and diehard fans are up north.

When National Anthem is Played:

North: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up. Comical.

South: 100,00 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony. Only ONE stadium in the entire south holds 100,000(UT).

The rest of it is even funnier. People in the north go through the same hardships in getting tickets, getting to stadiums,etc. Tailgate and party just as hard. The glories of northern football are just as rich in tradition as anywhere else in the country, and in some ways even better.The game was invented in the north. Most all of the innovations and advancements happened in the north. College and pro hall of fame is in the north. There is a reason for that, and being from the south, you wouldn't understand it. There is a saying that follows; "Where you stand depends on where you sit". Think about it. It's the way it is no matter where you're from in this great country. For 40 years I lived less than a half hour away from the cradle of football....Stark County Ohio. From where I sat, and also from where I'm sitting now here in TN, nothing in this football universe comes close to that.

 

 

 

...and we still dont care how yall did it up north. (War ain't over...Confederate Gov't never surrendered. We're getting ready for round two....and we got NASA in Houston and the rocket place in Huntsville the the really big thing they make up at Oak Ridge and we STILL got most of the best soldiers in the current US military from our native land.... AND we got SEC football!

 

Now somebody play dixie and lets get the playoffs started.

[seantn_4]

Been saving this one until I had time to reply. What a laughable post. Enjoyed it immensely. Where did you play football in the north? Probably nowhere worth mentioning, as obviously you and the bufoon who wrote this could combine your knowledge of football in the north and not fill a thimble. Just exemplifies people's prejudices, ignorance when it comes to the north vs the south thing, and it's done by both sides. Like how people who live in the north(not yankees-the war is over....you lost....get over it)view southerners. Truth is, when it comes to football traditions, fan support etc., it's as good in the north as it is anywhere.

Stadium Size:

North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

South: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Actually, 3 of the 5 biggest stadiums in the country are in the north(Ohio St.,Michigan,Penn St.). Outside of Texas, name 3 h.s. stadiums that hold 20,000...... Ohio, Pa alone overall fan support/attendance blows the rest of the south away in that regard. I would love to see what h.s. football playoff attendance in the south would be if the temperature was below 25 degrees without wind chill. We pack 'em in no matter how cold it gets, or how much snow flies. Down here, you bum rush Kroger's and prepare to be stuck in the house if the word snow is mentioned. Probably the funniest thing I've seen down here. You really don't have a clue how "fanatical" and diehard fans are up north.

When National Anthem is Played:

North: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up. Comical.

South: 100,00 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony. Only ONE stadium in the entire south holds 100,000(UT).

The rest of it is even funnier. People in the north go through the same hardships in getting tickets, getting to stadiums,etc. Tailgate and party just as hard. The glories of northern football are just as rich in tradition as anywhere else in the country, and in some ways even better.The game was invented in the north. Most all of the innovations and advancements happened in the north. College and pro hall of fame is in the north. There is a reason for that, and being from the south, you wouldn't understand it. There is a saying that follows; "Where you stand depends on where you sit". Think about it. It's the way it is no matter where you're from in this great country. For 40 years I lived less than a half hour away from the cradle of football....Stark County Ohio. From where I sat, and also from where I'm sitting now here in TN, nothing in this football universe comes close to that.

 

smyrna high school last 2 years playoffs and state averaged 23000 fans a game

[southrebs2]

I read this article in The Johnson City News and Neighbor by Bill Derby. I played football in the South and the North and alot of these are true. Just thought everyone would like to read this.

 

 

Womens Accessories:

North: Chap stick in back pocket and a $20 bill in the front pocket.

South: Louis Vuitton duffel with two lipsticks, water-proof mascara, and a fifth of beverage. Money not necessary, that's what dates are for.

 

Stadium Size:

North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

South: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

 

Fathers:

North: Expect their daughters to understand Sylvia Plath.

South: Expect their daughters to understand pass interference.

 

Campus Decor:

North: Statues of founding fathers.

South: Statues of Heisman trophy winners.

 

Homecoming Queen:

North: Also a physics major.

South: Also Miss America.

 

Heroes:

North: Rudy Giuliani.

South: Archie and Peyton Manning.

 

Getting Tickets:

North: 5 days before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus.

South: 5 months before the game you walk into the ticket office on campus, make a large financial contribution and put name on a waiting list for tickets.

 

Friday Classes After a Thursday Night Game:

North: Students and teachers not sure if they're going to the game, because they have classes on friday.

South: Teachers cancel friday classes because they don't want to see late nightparty students that might actually make it to class.

 

Parking:

North: An hour before game time, the University opens the campus for game parking.

South: RVs sporting their school flags begin arriving on Wednesday for the weekend festivities. The really faithful arrive on Tuesday.

 

Game Day:

North: A few students party in the dorm and watch ESPN on TV.

South: Every student wakes up, has a beverage for breakfast, and rushes over to where ESPN is broadcasting 'Gameday Live' to get on camera and waive to the people up north who wonder why 'Game Day Live' is never broadcast from their campus.

 

Tailgating:

North: Ram meat on a grill, beer with lime in it, listening to local radio station with truck tailgate down.

South: 30-foot custom pig-shaped smoker fires up at dawn. Cooking accompanied by live performance from the Dave Mathews Band,... who come over during breaks and ask for a drink from a football beverage.

 

Getting to the Stadium:

North: You ask 'Where's the stadium?' When you find it, you walk right in.

South: When you're near it, you'll hear it. On game day it is the state's third largest city.

 

Concessions:

North: Drinks served in a paper cup, filled to the top with soda.

South: Drinks served in a plastic cup: with the home teams mascot on it, filled less than half way with soda, to ensure enough room for a football beverage.

 

When National Anthem is Played:

North: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up.

South: 100,00 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony.

 

The Smell in the Air After the First Score:

North: Nothing Changes.

South: Fireworks,Gunpowder (from the cannon in the end zone).

 

Commentary (Male):

North: 'Nice play'

South: 'Dangit, you slow #!*")##- tackel him and break his legs.'

 

Commentary (Female):

North: 'My, this certainly is a violent sport'.

South: 'Dangit, you slow #!*)##- tackel him and break his legs.'

 

Announcers:

North: Neutral and paid.

South: Announcer harmonizes with the crowd in the fight song, with a tear in his eye because he is so proud of his team.

 

After the Game:

North: The stadium is empty way before the game ends.

South:Another @@@@ of ribs go on the smoker, while somebody goes to the nearest package store for more beverage, and planning begins for next week's game.

 

Nothing else in the universe comes even halfway close to the glories of Southern football.

 

 

Sounds like a nascar race /hungry.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":hungry:" border="0" alt="hungry.gif" />

[southrebs2]

Been saving this one until I had time to reply. What a laughable post. Enjoyed it immensely. Where did you play football in the north? Probably nowhere worth mentioning, as obviously you and the bufoon who wrote this could combine your knowledge of football in the north and not fill a thimble. Just exemplifies people's prejudices, ignorance when it comes to the north vs the south thing, and it's done by both sides. Like how people who live in the north(not yankees-the war is over....you lost....get over it)view southerners. Truth is, when it comes to football traditions, fan support etc., it's as good in the north as it is anywhere.

Stadium Size:

North: College football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

South: High school football stadiums hold 20,000 people.

Actually, 3 of the 5 biggest stadiums in the country are in the north(Ohio St.,Michigan,Penn St.). Outside of Texas, name 3 h.s. stadiums that hold 20,000...... Ohio, Pa alone overall fan support/attendance blows the rest of the south away in that regard. I would love to see what h.s. football playoff attendance in the south would be if the temperature was below 25 degrees without wind chill. We pack 'em in no matter how cold it gets, or how much snow flies. Down here, you bum rush Kroger's and prepare to be stuck in the house if the word snow is mentioned. Probably the funniest thing I've seen down here. You really don't have a clue how "fanatical" and diehard fans are up north.

When National Anthem is Played:

North: Stands are less than half full, and less than half of them stand up. Comical.

South: 100,00 fans, all standing, sing along in perfect four-part harmony. Only ONE stadium in the entire south holds 100,000(UT).

The rest of it is even funnier. People in the north go through the same hardships in getting tickets, getting to stadiums,etc. Tailgate and party just as hard. The glories of northern football are just as rich in tradition as anywhere else in the country, and in some ways even better.The game was invented in the north. Most all of the innovations and advancements happened in the north. College and pro hall of fame is in the north. There is a reason for that, and being from the south, you wouldn't understand it. There is a saying that follows; "Where you stand depends on where you sit". Think about it. It's the way it is no matter where you're from in this great country. For 40 years I lived less than a half hour away from the cradle of football....Stark County Ohio. From where I sat, and also from where I'm sitting now here in TN, nothing in this football universe comes close to that.

 

Shut up you @#$% Yankee.........and if it's so much better up North then why don't you go back???

[ethel77]

Shut up you @#$% Yankee.........and if it's so much better up North then why don't you go back???

 

well said, leave it to a yankee to get offended over a simple post. /rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />

[jrpfhs21]

I liked that.

[5A football fan]

That's is funny stuff

 

here is mine

 

North - /huh.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":huh:" border="0" alt="huh.gif" />

 

South - /thumb[1].gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":thumb:" border="0" alt="thumb[1].gif" /> /popcorneater.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":popcorneater:" border="0" alt="popcorneater.gif" /> /thumb[1].gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":thumb:" border="0" alt="thumb[1].gif" />