SAVE THE CHAIRS!

[taketop]

The FPA (furniture protection agency was created by the Homeland Security Act to protect chairs from terror, both domestic and foreign) has issued a warning to all chairs in the vicinity of Cleveland wrestling matches. After the most recent chair thrashing, the agency has concluded that Coach Eslinger is now furniture public enemy #1, there by removing Walkinvol from the list all together. This latest "attack" by the Cleveland coach has chairs all over the state hiding in fear. Any chairs caught in the open will be in danger of a good booting. The agency has also concluded that the TSSAA officials are powerless to stop this attack on the defenseless chairs.

 

In order to raise money for the Defenseless Chair fund, Sally Struthers will be hosting the first annual baby seal clubbing. Please bring your own stick. For just .42 cents a day you too can help these poor chairs. Please send all donations to the Alan Jones Anger Management Fund.

[lefty87]

The FPA (furniture protection agency was created by the Homeland Security Act to protect chairs from terror, both domestic and foreign) has issued a warning to all chairs in the vicinity of Cleveland wrestling matches. After the most recent chair thrashing, the agency has concluded that Coach Eslinger is now furniture public enemy #1, there by removing Walkinvol from the list all together. This latest "attack" by the Cleveland coach has chairs all over the state hiding in fear. Any chairs caught in the open will be in danger of a good booting. The agency has also concluded that the TSSAA officials are powerless to stop this attack on the defenseless chairs.

 

In order to raise money for the Defenseless Chair fund, Sally Struthers will be hosting the first annual baby seal clubbing. Please bring your own stick. For just .42 cents a day you too can help these poor chairs. Please send all donations to the Alan Jones Anger Management Fund.

 

 

This irresponsible attack on a defenseless chair brings back a haunting member from my past (25+ years ago) that I??™d like to share.

As a young sophomore, I had to watch the senseless attack on a locker-room sink. After an unexpected dual lose, the coach needed to show the proper technique on throwing a cross-face. After surveying the surroundings, his eyes caught the sink. /ph34r.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":ph34r:" border="0" alt="ph34r.gif" /> With fire in his eyes and spitting after ever word, he ran towards the sink. I remember the sink quivering as the coach approached. After the demonstration was over, the sink hung lifeless from the wall, water poring out of its lifeless body. Needless to say, the sink did need replacing. The coach did learn from this as he picked wisely the next time he needed to vent. If memory serves me right, he used a pillow!!

I understand that Coaches need to vent from time to time but why pick on a defenseless opponent? Look in the stands and pick out the Biggest, Meanest man or women and go get you some!!!!

 

Your welcome Coach!!!! /flower.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":flower:" border="0" alt="flower.gif" />

 

Anyone else have a story they would like to share?

[taketop]

[ Look in the stands and pick out the Biggest, Meanest man or women and go get you some!!!!

 

Your welcome Coach!!!! /flower.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":flower:" border="0" alt="flower.gif" />

 

Anyone else have a story they would like to share?

 

 

 

There was some running in the stands reported but that is not the focus of this agency. We are working to start a bleacher division but the funds are unavailable at this time.

 

We send our condolences to the family of the sink.

[Chattcity]

Speaking of walkinvol, he's been conspicuously quiet this year. Anyone seen him?

[Da Bears]

But before you take sides, shouldn't you find out more about what the chair may have been doing?

[bearmen]

The word within the agency is that this chair at the Cleveland Duals may be the younger brother of a chair occupied by Coach Eslinger a couple of years ago in the Jones Bldg. While trying to defeat Ooltewah and earn a trip to the State duals, it was witnessed by several hundred spectators. Not once, but TWICE, this chair that had only moments earlier been occupied by Coach Eslinger himself was violently kicked backward, travelling some 6-8 feet onto the warm-up mats behind the team bench. Luckily, a young Raider wrestler was there to return the chair to it's proper place. True, not as lengthy as Walkenvols toss, but if you combine the total measurement of these three tantrums combined, we've got a close contest going. /rolleyes.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rolleyes:" border="0" alt="rolleyes.gif" />

[RMC]

I think the ACLU (American Chair Liberties Union) must be a little stronger in Georgia. If a chair is assaulted down here you will be escorted from the building.

[CHSRaiders]

I think the ACLU (American Chair Liberties Union) must be a little stronger in Georgia. If a chair is assaulted down here you will be escorted from the building.

 

RMC obviously the rules are alot more relaxed in TN because you have the freedom to destroy chairs, furniture, and or pictures without repercussion.

 

Josh Bosken

Cleveland Wrestling

[Wrestlersdad]

This blog is funny. Reminds me of the Indiana Univ coach back in the 70's throwing chairs on the basketball court. I think his name was Knight. From a previous blog I posted a response to...............Coaches need to grow up too!!!!

[rigger101]

Give WV his due he has produced a Officer and Gentleman and I don't think any of us would have wanted to be is the situation that caused the chair to fly that night. Always givng back to the sport. I guess that night he gave a little extra. /roflol.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":roflol:" border="0" alt="roflol.gif" />

Good Luck to young M this year. Fun young man to watch.

[taketop]

WV only threw ONE chair. The count on domestic furniture violence in this case is up to 4 known cases. WV has been out done. The Agency feels kicking is a hate crime while throwing is a crime of passion.

[CHSRaiders]

WV only threw ONE chair. The count on domestic furniture violence in this case is up to 4 known cases. WV has been out done. The Agency feels kicking is a hate crime while throwing is a crime of passion.

 

Just curious if the FPA feels violence towards framed pictures is considered a hate crime or not. The rules and regulations of this agency is still a little vague to me.

 

Bosken

CHS Wrestling