Parents and Coaches....

[doc_6]

Good parental support is critically important to the success of a team but not at the expense of the coach being able to do his/her job. My only problems are with those parents who only come to support their child and not the program as a whole. In my mind, every coach, parent, and player from the freshman team through the varsity starters are all one big program. It's like large family, at least to me.

I was talking with one parent earlier this year and he expressed concern because his son, as well as some other boys, may eventually only have one or two years as a starter becuase of players that are ahead of them. (This is funny since I'm not even a coach,lol) I told him I looked at it this way. What would you rather have? Start for 4 years on a bad to "ok" team or start for one year but every year be a very good, maybe even championship caliber team? A large part of White Station's success was the willingness of some great players, who could have averaged 20-25 pts. a night on lesser teams, to buy into the concept of building that program and put together several championship teams. I'm not saying every school can have that level of success and I understand every family has to do what's right for them. My point is that just as group of kids have work as a single unit to be successful on the floor, it also takes teamwork by those of us who don't pace the sidelines or put on the jerseys.

 

Good post PAntherbert. I would also like to add that everyone on the White Station team received exposure because of the success of the team! When Dane Bradshaw won MR. Basketball, his numbers weren't great, but his winning percentage was a great compliment to his skills. Other players (subs included) whose numbers also weren't great went on to accept college athletic scholarships. Having a strong basketball program at a school is almost as important as a player's abilities. Colleges know that if a player comes from a reputable program, with a history of developing quality players, it's a good chance that this player can contribute on the next level. Tell the parent to sit down & wait his turn. If the program is worth it, the wait is worth it.

[refuge]

First of all let me say that on this question this year I am entirely comfortable with our coach. But other experiences bring me to say this:

 

There is one question parents definately have a right to ask about when it comes to playing time. That is: Is the decision as to who gets on the team and who gets playing time being made based on ability to contribute or based on other factors (ie. politics, predjudice, personality, parents, etc..). The coach should be able to look his boss and any parent in the eye and state and demonstrate that his decisions are made fairly. There is nothing wrong with parents holding any coach or school employee accountable on that score. Beyond that it is the coaches call.

 

I suspect that coaches who are overly sensitive to questions from parents may not be entirely comfortable with their decision making processes. Just as parents who are overly critical are often blinded to all the good things the coach is doing.

 

Imagine your child is in an AP math class, and the teacher tells you the kid is passing and will definately pass the end exam, but he is not recommending the kid for the next level class. Would you feel you had the right to ask the decision be justified objectively; of course you would. Any teacher not willing to back up a decision that affects a kid's life has a problem.

 

I know alot of parents need to grow up a bit, but perhaps some of our coaches do also.

[The General]

I think that its ok for the parent to setup a meeting to talk to the coach.. However, if he doesnt get the answer that he was looking for then..o well..

[d34baller]

ok my opinion is that parents of a player do have the right to judge a coach. for example a young player is left on the bench on a road game. the parents are of course going to queastion the coach on why their child is the only one on the team that did not get playing time. yet the team was down by over 20 points after the 1st quarter. no tell me that parent doesn't need to go an confront that coach....

[statman3]

Reading through most of these posts, a thought comes to mind. The thought that comes to mind is a recollection of the day my daughter was born 14 years ago. My mother asked me over the phone if my newborn daughter was pretty. After a long pause, my only response was that I wasn't sure. I had suddenly realized that I did not have the abaility to give her an "objective" answer. To me she was the most beautiful baby ever born, but I also recognized that if she had happened to be an ugly baby (and most babies are), I would not have been able to tell.

 

It's been that way ever since. I think GOD intended it that way.

 

Stay away from practice. Leave playing time to the coaches. They can tell if your baby is ugly or not. Your job is to let them know how beautiful they are to you.

[IrishBBall]

As both a coach and parent, I have mixed feelings on this issue. I tend to say the parents should avoid going to practice and questioning playing time issues. I've dealt with very few parents who really understand the game well enough to question a good coach. I was the assistant coach for my son's fall league team and he sat 80% of the time since he was a freshman on a senior-laden team. I also had several parents coming to me wanting me to get in the coach's ear about splitting playing time more evenly. I told them that I was there to help teach the kids but had (or wanted) no input into playing time. Part of the equation is paying your dues. Is it fair to play younger kids at the expense of seniors who have paid their dues but may not be as talented as the younger kids? I've seen several coaches that give every advantage to the seniors for this sole reason. Any thoughts?

 

Our baseball coach has a very unique concept in discussing playing time if the parents INSIST. If you are adamant about discussing your child's playing time, he will meet with you along with your child and the parents and child that you feel your child should be playing ahead of. When this concept is used, almost no parent will want to have that discussion! Most will cowardly gripe in the stands but don't have the guts for this meeting.

 

BUT, it's tough knowing how hard it is on your kid when he is the only player that didn't play in a blowout. I think that excellent points have been made by both sides. But hey, that's why these coaches make the BIG bucks!

Edited February 21, 2006 by IrishBBall

[RavenRapOnTheMap32]

bhscoach,

You mention that part of your determining who plays, and how many minutes, is how good a practice the players have. I'm just wondering do you ever have kids who are 'game' players more than 'practice players'?. I'm certain you know that I mean that you may have a kid who does not have the best practices, but will always leave it on the floor for every game, and may even be your best player. True, while hopefully no one encourages the mentality, and habit, of only giving 100% during games, it does happen. If this happens how does one deal with determining playing time. Also, I think many coaches look at a kids performance from game to game in helping to determine if they've earned an opportunity to play more. The only thing I believe parents have the right to ask a coach is what does their child have to do to earn the opportunity to play. No one's playing time should be guaranteed. The final thing is all players and parents should be told that the common good of the team is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing above all else.

all the coaches know who their game players are and who are practice players, that is determined thru off season scrimmages... simple as that... the kids had their oppurtunity to play, that is also wher ethe jv level comes into play. if a "game" player performs better at varsity then jv then that means that that player does not try during a jv game or during practice which in turn means they should play basketball at the high school varsity level.

[bhscoach]

As both a coach and parent, I have mixed feelings on this issue. I tend to say the parents should avoid going to practice and questioning playing time issues. I've dealt with very few parents who really understand the game well enough to question a good coach. I was the assistant coach for my son's fall league team and he sat 80% of the time since he was a freshman on a senior-laden team. I also had several parents coming to me wanting me to get in the coach's ear about splitting playing time more evenly. I told them that I was there to help teach the kids but had (or wanted) no input into playing time. Part of the equation is paying your dues. Is it fair to play younger kids at the expense of seniors who have paid their dues but may not be as talented as the younger kids? I've seen several coaches that give every advantage to the seniors for this sole reason. Any thoughts?

 

Our baseball coach has a very unique concept in discussing playing time if the parents INSIST. If you are adamant about discussing your child's playing time, he will meet with you along with your child and the parents and child that you feel your child should be playing ahead of. When this concept is used, almost no parent will want to have that discussion! Most will cowardly gripe in the stands but don't have the guts for this meeting.

 

BUT, it's tough knowing how hard it is on your kid when he is the only player that didn't play in a blowout. I think that excellent points have been made by both sides. But hey, that's why these coaches make the BIG bucks!

 

This one is about seniors paying their dues. This year we dressed out a Freshmen on the varsity level. He skipped a whole year of learning our system on the Freshmen level. The way we see things are if a Freshmen has the same or more talent than say Soph. Junior. or Senior then we are going to go with the Freshmen. We have got 3 more years to work with this player and he is just as good as the guys older than him. I think this is what killed our baseball team when i played in HS was because the coach thought they seniors should play when the younger talent was just as good or in our case better than the older guys. Like it was said earlier, coaches are out to win basketball games and keep their jobs not make parents happy. If we see a younger player is just as good or better than the older then we are taking our chances with the older player.

[statman3]

As both a coach and parent, I have mixed feelings on this issue. I tend to say the parents should avoid going to practice and questioning playing time issues. I've dealt with very few parents who really understand the game well enough to question a good coach. I was the assistant coach for my son's fall league team and he sat 80% of the time since he was a freshman on a senior-laden team. I also had several parents coming to me wanting me to get in the coach's ear about splitting playing time more evenly. I told them that I was there to help teach the kids but had (or wanted) no input into playing time. Part of the equation is paying your dues. Is it fair to play younger kids at the expense of seniors who have paid their dues but may not be as talented as the younger kids? I've seen several coaches that give every advantage to the seniors for this sole reason. Any thoughts?

 

BUT, it's tough knowing how hard it is on your kid when he is the only player that didn't play in a blowout. I think that excellent points have been made by both sides. But hey, that's why these coaches make the BIG bucks!

 

I find the issue of "fairness", as introduced in your post very interesting. The word "fair" I believe carries a counter definition every instance in which it is applied. For example, you question is it fair to play a younger kid at the expense of seniors who have paid their dues? I would counter with is it fair to sit any kid who has put in the work and developed superior skills while playing someone of lesser talent based on seniority alone. I find that the most appropriate application of the word "fair" generally is when it drives people toward excellence. The danger is that when the word "fair' is misused, it can drive a team, organization, etc.... tom a level of performance approaching the lowest common denominator.

[IrishBBall]

I find the issue of "fairness", as introduced in your post very interesting. The word "fair" I believe carries a counter definition every instance in which it is applied. For example, you question is it fair to play a younger kid at the expense of seniors who have paid their dues? I would counter with is it fair to sit any kid who has put in the work and developed superior skills while playing someone of lesser talent based on seniority alone. I find that the most appropriate application of the word "fair" generally is when it drives people toward excellence. The danger is that when the word "fair' is misused, it can drive a team, organization, etc.... tom a level of performance approaching the lowest common denominator.

Mine was a hypothetical question. I'm of the opinion that you play your best players regardless of grade. You obviously don't want to put the younger players is a postion where they're going to fail ( as would the older player) and shake their confidence. Coaches need to know the type program their younger kids are coming from to make some of these decisions.

[DefenseWins90]

Parents are 75% of the reason nobody wants to coach anymore. If a parent wants his or her kid to play more, then take them to the rec league. The coach is with the kids more than anybody and knows who can play. I have never met a coach who did not want to win. The coach will play who he feels will give him the best opportunity to do so. Parents need to encourage their kids, not blame the coach.

[doc6]

I find the issue of "fairness", as introduced in your post very interesting. The word "fair" I believe carries a counter definition every instance in which it is applied. For example, you question is it fair to play a younger kid at the expense of seniors who have paid their dues? I would counter with is it fair to sit any kid who has put in the work and developed superior skills while playing someone of lesser talent based on seniority alone. I find that the most appropriate application of the word "fair" generally is when it drives people toward excellence. The danger is that when the word "fair' is misused, it can drive a team, organization, etc.... tom a level of performance approaching the lowest common denominator.

 

That Boy Bad!