treatment of coaches' families

[refchaser]

You should be nice for the sake of BEING NICE! Being nice to a coach's spouse or family does not make your child play any more minutes or score any more points. By the same token, being ugly to his/her spouse and family does not prove your point to the coach. It only serves to show your true colors and possibly hurt somone who has done nothing to hurt you. We have no more control over his/her decisions than you do. And we truly love all of the players.

I was raised in a home, although not perfect, in it we were taught that adults should take the high road. Some of the adults around whom I am forced to be at ballgames were evidently not taught this character trait. I don't mind admitting I am hurt by the snubbing and cattiness of those about whom I thought better.

Luke 6:27-36

[kbc00]

IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH A COACH NEVER INVOLVE THEIR FAMILY. GO TO THE COACH. THE FAMILY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DECISIONS HE OR SHE MAKES.

[kwright]

QUOTE(kbc00 @ Jan 14 2007 - 08:47 PM) 826332020[/snapback]

IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH A COACH NEVER INVOLVE THEIR FAMILY. GO TO THE COACH. THE FAMILY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DECISIONS HE OR SHE MAKES.

 

 

Yep, in a perfect world this would be the case. We do not live in a perfect world. Any and all adults should be held accountable for anything wrong they have done to a child. I don't care if it is the coach, his or her spouse, a teacher, a preacher or a Indian chief.

 

 

HOOPS TO YA!!!!

kw

[barb]

QUOTE(jamieroper @ Jan 17 2007 - 10:02 AM) 826334779[/snapback]

Yes, you are absolutely right about adults being held accountable. Very often people such as coaches are not held accountable simply because they are winning games. An example close to home was where a former Alabama Football coach was having an affair with his secretary. When he was winning, the news dogs and Alabama administration did not care. The next year, when he had a losing record, he was committing adultery and had no morals. They ran him off. Right is right no matter whom the person is or whom he knows or who he is kin too or what his record may be if he is a coach.

 

I have brought down several untouchables in my life when I could have simply kept my mouth shut as everyone else. And I will continue to do so when it is needed. There is a ton of truth in the old saying that the only way evil can last is if good men (people) do nothing, or something like that.

 

 

I don't understand how this got from someone mistreating a coach's wife to an adulterous Alabama coach. I am amazed that noone seems to feel this lady's frustration and hurt at being snubbed because her husband ticked off somebody's parents. These people should be ashamed of themselves for behaving like children.

As parents we expect our children to respect other people and "play nice" with the other children. Amazing that some display the same behavior we would chastise our children for. Refchaser, as the parent of a former student athlete, I am ashamed you have been treated badly by these "adults" who should know better. Please know that the vast majority of parents are supportive of our coaches and their families. Please don't be discouraged...kids graduate and parents go away.

[screenandroll]

Ref, as a member of a coaching family one must develop "thick skin". Try not to take all things personal. I believe a parent's common sense drops 20% as soon as they step in the gym with more percentages dropping as the game goes on. So by the end of the game a parent is not functioning with much common sense. But parents can cross the line. If this happens, you should let them know it. Don't just take it. They don't. Let them know how you feel. Sometimes this works very well and if it doesn't help at least it makes you feel better. I know the coach would appreciate the backing.

 

Roper, seems like you feel really proud of taking down some "untouchables". Better be careful because I'm sure someone is out there looking to take you down. People make mistakes and must be held accountable for them but there shouldn't be any joy in doing so. Hopefully you'll never be caught in a mistake and we won't be reading about it here on coacht.

[kwright]

Just to make sure my comment/reply is taken correctly, here goes again. I disagree that a coaches spouse has nothing to do with what the coach does/says. I have seen it on more than one occasion and it was always negative. Like I said before, "If only it were a perfect world"

 

As far as parents, I have never had a problem with a parent that stands up for their child. Thought that is what God intended. When I coached, I always ask the parents to do just that and when they thought I was doing anything and I mean anything to hurt or mistreat their child to first come to me and then my boss/director or if they felt more comfortable the both of us together.

 

No, you should not be mean or ugly to a coach or his family for no reason. But for goodness sake people, if someone has wronged you or you child, there is no reason to be a hypocrite and smile and be cordial as if nothing ever happened.

 

Just bout tired of people saying for parents to stay out of it!!! Again, if it were a perfect world, then yep we could just drop off the kids and never worry. And again, IT AIN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

HOOPS TO YA!!!

 

kw

[barb]

QUOTE(kwright @ Jan 17 2007 - 12:10 PM) 826334932[/snapback]

Just to make sure my comment/reply is taken correctly, here goes again. I disagree that a coaches spouse has nothing to do with what the coach does/says. I have seen it on more than one occasion and it was always negative. Like I said before, "If only it were a perfect world"

 

As far as parents, I have never had a problem with a parent that stands up for their child. Thought that is what God intended. When I coached, I always ask the parents to do just that and when they thought I was doing anything and I mean anything to hurt or mistreat their child to first come to me and then my boss/director or if they felt more comfortable the both of us together.

 

No, you should not be mean or ugly to a coach or his family for no reason. But for goodness sake people, if someone has wronged you or you child, there is no reason to be a hypocrite and smile and be cordial as if nothing ever happened.

 

Just bout tired of people saying for parents to stay out of it!!! Again, if it were a perfect world, then yep we could just drop off the kids and never worry. And again, IT AIN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

HOOPS TO YA!!!

 

kw

 

 

I don't see where this thread has anything to do with parents taking up for their child. This poor woman is being held accountable for the words or actions of her husband. Heaven forbid I should ever be in her shoes...especially with my husbands size 10 mouth.

There is absolutely no reason, unless she was somehow involved in the situation, for these people to treat her unkindly. Yes, there is a reason to smile and be cordial to this lady as if nothing happened...its called the GOLDEN RULE.

[CoachT]

QUOTE(refchaser @ Jan 14 2007 - 11:39 AM) 826331561[/snapback]

You should be nice for the sake of BEING NICE! Being nice to a coach's spouse or family does not make your child play any more minutes or score any more points. By the same token, being ugly to his/her spouse and family does not prove your point to the coach. It only serves to show your true colors and possibly hurt somone who has done nothing to hurt you. We have no more control over his/her decisions than you do. And we truly love all of the players.

I was raised in a home, although not perfect, in it we were taught that adults should take the high road. Some of the adults around whom I am forced to be at ballgames were evidently not taught this character trait. I don't mind admitting I am hurt by the snubbing and cattiness of those about whom I thought better.

Luke 6:27-36

 

 

I agree with you 100%. Courtesy should be extended to individuals on their own merit, not that of others. Now, if your husband decides to commit murder, or bank robbery, or run off with the secretary, I suggest you not go to the game that night.

[kwright]

QUOTE(barb @ Jan 17 2007 - 11:46 AM) 826334994[/snapback]

I don't see where this thread has anything to do with parents taking up for their child. This poor woman is being held accountable for the words or actions of her husband. Heaven forbid I should ever be in her shoes...especially with my husbands size 10 mouth.

There is absolutely no reason, unless she was somehow involved in the situation, for these people to treat her unkindly. Yes, there is a reason to smile and be cordial to this lady as if nothing happened...its called the GOLDEN RULE.

 

 

Guess the BOLD letters don't show on your screen Everyone's not clean as the driven snow. Don't know anything about this case and don't have a dog in the fight, but I know for a fact that spouses and extended family do sometimes influence what a coach may do or not do. Should not be the case but it happens.

 

Where the parents taking up for their kids comes in, well ....... you just need to face a few mad moms. Heck, I'd just soon face a tiger that had not had anything to eat for a year. For you that don't understand, this could come across as someone snubbing or being mean to a coaches wife

 

Anyways, I hope everyone makes all goody goody and the sun shines bright etc....................................

 

HOOPS TO YA!!!!

kw

[jamieroper]

OK, now I understand the topic.

 

First, always stand up for what is right.

 

Second, never be mean to one person for what another did.

 

Third, be careful messing with someone's family. It is a bad rule to do so.

 

Fourth, If you do not like what the coach does, take it up with the coach, not his family, unless they get involved.

 

Fifth, every one of you have good points from a certain point of view.

 

Lastly, RICHLAND RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Richland, Home of the following:

2006/2007 District Champions

2006/2007 Region Champions

2006/2007 State Champions

2006/2007 District Player of the Year

2006/2007 Region Player of the Year

2006/2007 State Tourney MVP

2006/2007 Coach of the Year, District, Region, AP, and State.

[sum1uno]

you are full of yourself. Time will tell if Richland is what you think they are. I have seen them play and they are fairly good but all of that is taking it a little too far don't you think? Before you start talking all of that you need to give it some time.

[barb]

QUOTE(kwright @ Jan 17 2007 - 01:18 PM) 826335037[/snapback]

Guess the BOLD letters don't show on your screen Everyone's not clean as the driven snow. Don't know anything about this case and don't have a dog in the fight, but I know for a fact that spouses and extended family do sometimes influence what a coach may do or not do. Should not be the case but it happens.

 

Where the parents taking up for their kids comes in, well ....... you just need to face a few mad moms. Heck, I'd just soon face a tiger that had not had anything to eat for a year. For you that don't understand, this could come across as someone snubbing or being mean to a coaches wife

 

Anyways, I hope everyone makes all goody goody and the sun shines bright etc....................................

 

HOOPS TO YA!!!!

kw

 

 

 

Look this obviously isn't the case with Refchaser and she is obviously quite injured by this behavior. So maybe you should back off your "put on your big-girl panties and deal with it" attitude and realize there are still people out there that are willing to look for the best in people, even if they get their teeth kicked in occasionally.

 

I have been an angry mom a time or 2 and had some serious conversations with my childrens coaches over the years, but not once, in 25 years of organized sports with my children did I feel compelled to take my frustrations out on a coach's family...that would just be wrong.

 

Refchaser, assuming you will be married to a coach for a very long time, you will need to develop political skills that would qualify most for a run at the presidency, the patience of Job, and a Buddhist approach to non-violence. Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. It is hard enough to hear them denegrate your spouse the coach and even tougher when the behavior is directed at you.Smile and be friendly to those who mistreat you...deny them what they want the most...to injure you. Do yourself a favor and don't give them the satisfaction of knowing their actions had the intended reaction. Like a wise deoderant commercial once said..."Don't ever let them see you sweat".