treatment of coaches' families

[kwright]

QUOTE(barb @ Jan 17 2007 - 01:34 PM) 826335153[/snapback]

Look this obviously isn't the case with Refchaser and she is obviously quite injured by this behavior. So maybe you should back off your "put on your big-girl panties and deal with it" attitude and realize there are still people out there that are willing to look for the best in people, even if they get their teeth kicked in occasionally.

 

I have been an angry mom a time or 2 and had some serious conversations with my childrens coaches over the years, but not once, in 25 years of organized sports with my children did I feel compelled to take my frustrations out on a coach's family...that would just be wrong.

 

Refchaser, assuming you will be married to a coach for a very long time, you will need to develop political skills that would qualify most for a run at the presidency, the patience of Job, and a Buddhist approach to non-violence. Sometimes the best defense is a good offense. It is hard enough to hear them denegrate your spouse the coach and even tougher when the behavior is directed at you.Smile and be friendly to those who mistreat you...deny them what they want the most...to injure you. Do yourself a favor and don't give them the satisfaction of knowing their actions had the intended reaction. Like a wise deoderant commercial once said..."Don't ever let them see you sweat".

 

 

Put em on and gird up tight. It's better than pulling a Britney Spears

 

Being a coach is tough. Being a coaches spouse is darn near impossible. Hope all goes well.

 

kw

[ballfanwm]

QUOTE(kbc00 @ Jan 14 2007 - 08:47 PM) 826332020[/snapback]

IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH A COACH NEVER INVOLVE THEIR FAMILY. GO TO THE COACH. THE FAMILY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DECISIONS HE OR SHE MAKES.

 

 

I agree. But neither should a coach involve a players family. My grand daughter was told on several occasions that she was nothing but s--t, that she was no good and her family was no good. And I might say to refchaser, you have put up with nothing compared to what this player did. And believe me, if this coach has any kind of conscience, he will remember this and many more things he said an done every time he pillows his head at night.

[jamieroper]

QUOTE(sum1uno @ Jan 17 2007 - 12:43 PM) 826335071[/snapback]

you are full of yourself. Time will tell if Richland is what you think they are. I have seen them play and they are fairly good but all of that is taking it a little too far don't you think? Before you start talking all of that you need to give it some time.

 

 

 

Well, shouldn't I plan big??? Especially since "If you can accept losing, you can't win." So I must believe that we can win it all or we can win nothing, RIGHT?????

[kbc00]

QUOTE(ballfanwm @ Jan 17 2007 - 02:22 PM) 826335210[/snapback]

I agree. But neither should a coach involve a players family. My grand daughter was told on several occasions that she was nothing but s--t, that she was no good and her family was no good. And I might say to refchaser, you have put up with nothing compared to what this player did. And believe me, if this coach has any kind of conscience, he will remember this and many more things he said an done every time he pillows his head at night.

 

 

if a coach wants to say things like that it becomes crossing the line. if a coach said bad things about a players family he is not much of a coach. and the wrong family could get him a black eye.

[barb]

QUOTE(ballfanwm @ Jan 17 2007 - 03:22 PM) 826335210[/snapback]

I agree. But neither should a coach involve a players family. My grand daughter was told on several occasions that she was nothing but s--t, that she was no good and her family was no good. And I might say to refchaser, you have put up with nothing compared to what this player did. And believe me, if this coach has any kind of conscience, he will remember this and many more things he said an done every time he pillows his head at night.

 

 

I would have his job, house, car, and dog over that one. I would sue him and any school official who defended him back to the stone age. Harrassment, civil rights violation, just pile it on. This person does not deserve the trust being placed in him.

[jamieroper]

QUOTE(barb @ Jan 17 2007 - 04:12 PM) 826335324[/snapback]

I would have his job, house, car, and dog over that one. I would sue him and any school official who defended him back to the stone age. Harrassment, civil rights violation, just pile it on. This person does not deserve the trust being placed in him.

 

 

 

I agree totally. If a coach did this, he needs to be carried out back the gym and showed just what he is made of which cannot be much if he would say this to a kid. Along with any school official who defended him or her.

 

And we need to stop hiding abusive behavior behind the lable "OLD SCHOOL". Tough but fair if fine. Abuse is not.

[refchaser]

QUOTE(coacht @ Jan 17 2007 - 12:05 PM) 826335016[/snapback]

I agree with you 100%. Courtesy should be extended to individuals on their own merit, not that of others. Now, if your husband decides to commit murder, or bank robbery, or run off with the secretary, I suggest you not go to the game that night.

 

 

I wasn't asking for any one's advice on how to conduct myself. I love the players and respect the parents. I am passionate about the game and make no apologies for it. When I love, I love passionatley and when I am hurt, I hurt like every one else! I have no desire to act "thick skinned" or in any other way be pretentious. I am REAL. My purpose for writing was to hopefully make some people realize that their actions are not unnoticed. Some of you are taking this thread into another planet, but that is your right to do so. This is a free country. However, I must ask: Why do you assume the coach with whom I am associated did something WRONG? Just because someone makes a decision or comment that is not popular, does NOT mean it is wrong.

[refchaser]

I need to add also that when I began this thread I was concentrating on the negative actions of one or 2---I need to concentrate on the kids and the awesome human beings including parents and other fans, with whom I otherwise interact. I was just hurt because I thought so highly of the individuals prior to the showing of their moment of lesser character. Perhaps they will have or have had a change of heart. Until then, I will concentate on the positive!

[refchaser]

QUOTE(ballfanwm @ Jan 17 2007 - 02:22 PM) 826335210[/snapback]

I agree. But neither should a coach involve a players family. My grand daughter was told on several occasions that she was nothing but s--t, that she was no good and her family was no good. And I might say to refchaser, you have put up with nothing compared to what this player did. And believe me, if this coach has any kind of conscience, he will remember this and many more things he said an done every time he pillows his head at night.

 

 

 

I am pretty sure I know who you are and I think some things you THINK he said were taken out of context. Nothing I can say will make you believe otherwise but I know the man's heart and she was in it and still is. He might have said some players PLAYED like s--- at times but that is not the same as saying a person IS s---. I know he said some of his players' parents who were good athletes had been in bad programs (basketball programs that did not get the best out of them as players) but that is not the same as putting down a family. Sometimes the best kids in the world get ticked off at school and over-simplify what a coach or teacher says. I am not saying they lie; I am saying that they misunderstand or over-simplify. I got an email from a parent a few years ago telling me how her daughter hated disappointing him and that she had a lot of respect for him. I wish I could show it to you. I also wish that you could talk to your grand-daughter 10 years from now. Just as I have changed my mind about some "crabby old teachers" I had, I think you'd hear a different view from her as well. I lost my sister at age 9 and my father less than one year later. I resented a lot of things and people for a long time. I guess it brought me some kind of comfort. If it comforts you to dislike him, then go ahead. But I swear to you he loved her, believed in her and just did what HE thought would work to motivate her. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want to be loved, does not mean they are not loving you with all they have. May God bless you and yours.

[lastone2know]

As a married couple we run & own a business together along w/ rainsing our children. We represent each other both at business and at home to those who see us all the time. As a coaches wife you might not have gotten to choose that position but it is one u inherited. people do know that u 2 talk. they hope u have some kind of influence on him so they hope any comments made 2 u will make it back 2 him and hopefully will make a change of some kind. the same goes in all situations where husbands and wifes are working together either as pd teams or as inherited team, but u r still his rock he will turn 2. good luck and remember u r representing 2 teams: your family/and your school whether u want this job or not u got it when he got his.

[Pantherbert]

QUOTE(chargeher @ Jan 21 2007 - 04:02 PM) 826340052[/snapback]

As a married couple we run & own a business together along w/ rainsing our children. We represent each other both at business and at home to those who see us all the time. As a coaches wife you might not have gotten to choose that position but it is one u inherited. people do know that u 2 talk. they hope u have some kind of influence on him so they hope any comments made 2 u will make it back 2 him and hopefully will make a change of some kind. the same goes in all situations where husbands and wifes are working together either as pd teams or as inherited team, but u r still his rock he will turn 2. good luck and remember u r representing 2 teams: your family/and your school whether u want this job or not u got it when he got his.

 

 

 

 

I can understand that to a degree but it still doesn't make it right. For all people want to wail about what is right and wrong concerning the treatment of players they seem to conveniently ignore right and wrong concerning the treatment of anybody else.

[Jumpshot007]

Some coaches, sadly, coach kids to play dirty, take cheap shots, trash talk, and cuss the other teams players,

 

I witnessed such conduct friday night. No place in high school athletics for classless coaches!!