Parent/Coach Relationship

[5-Sport Dad]

I don't really have a 'dog,' so to speak, in the playing time dilemma. My children have usually started or gotten plenty of playing time...especially when they were judged by talent, hustle and attitude and not by the local 'clique' or who liked us as their parents or not. Most of the time it's just jealousy anyway, so...

 

My question, though, would be, what about glaringly incompetent coaches that are allowed to stay on until they quit or retire? I've seen instances where they weren't ever held accountable by the admin or AD; where they weren't 'coached' themselves by superiors or expected to improve so that the program (i.e., players) has a chance at success; where they continued to do the same old things and nobody ever 'rocked the boat' and offered them any advice to help the program, even though everybody knew it and whispered it all the time...during games and at other school functions...and their program never got better and, subsequently, neither did the players. The result is backbiting on the team, in the stands and it's just not fun to play for them. In fact, some of the 'good ones' wouldn't even go out for the team because of their incompetence. All 'blame' for losing was usually laid at the players' feet and the coach(es) never accepted any responsibility. Short of transferring so they can play for a 'program,' what about these instances? Instead of just saying 'go somewhere else to play,' why can't or shouldn't partents get involved...since it's not getting done by the so-called responsible parties? It's their community and school, too. Why not call for a change in the coach for the sake of the overall program? I can't speak for everybody, but my children work hard, hustle, sweat too much...and even bleed sometimes...and care about trying to win every game than to just overlook incompetent, selfish and arrogant coaches.

[Justadad]

I think the theme of this post has been that most coaches do not talk about playing time to parents. The problem with your argument is there are a lot of parents that think a coach is incompetent because he doesn't play their kid. If there is an incompetent coach in place than parents have every right and should execute that right to complain. I am just tired of seeing parents at every level ruin sports for kids.

[bkbfan30]

There are coaches out there like this and I call them" supplement" coaches that is they are doing it for the extra pay only and the problem with this is that the administration also knows and allows this therefore any complaining will fall on deaf ears-these coaches are usually "yesmen" to the administration and as long as there is no abuse involved administration will always have their back and kid,parents,and fans alike will suffer

[66in74]

This is a good thread with good points to consider.

I especially like the coach, parent, student contract.

 

There are proper ways for a Player (parents should never ask at the high school level) about "playing time".

You don't complain.

You ask; "Coach what do I need to work on to improve my chances to contribute more to the team"? Then you go and do it!!

[5-Sport Dad]

Coach/parent/player contracts in HS are silly and not worth the paper they're written on if the 'spirit' of the so-called 'contract' never happens. And who's gonna enforce it...really? I've heard coaches talk a good game, but never 'walk-the-talk'...and still keep their jobs for years. Somewhere in there, usually, it comes out that 'we can't fire them for losing or running a crappy program because they're a teacher and we can't find a replacement because nobody wants the job' or 'they'll sue us if we fire them'...or, heck, 'we can't fire them.' That one really gets me.

 

It's the incompetents and 'I'm entitled's' of the world that ruin it for everybody. Oh, yeah...and their gutless superiors.

[riverdaleman]

I don't really have a 'dog,' so to speak, in the playing time dilemma. My children have usually started or gotten plenty of playing time...especially when they were judged by talent, hustle and attitude and not by the local 'clique' or who liked us as their parents or not. Most of the time it's just jealousy anyway, so...

 

My question, though, would be, what about glaringly incompetent coaches that are allowed to stay on until they quit or retire? I've seen instances where they weren't ever held accountable by the admin or AD; where they weren't 'coached' themselves by superiors or expected to improve so that the program (i.e., players) has a chance at success; where they continued to do the same old things and nobody ever 'rocked the boat' and offered them any advice to help the program, even though everybody knew it and whispered it all the time...during games and at other school functions...and their program never got better and, subsequently, neither did the players. The result is backbiting on the team, in the stands and it's just not fun to play for them. In fact, some of the 'good ones' wouldn't even go out for the team because of their incompetence. All 'blame' for losing was usually laid at the players' feet and the coach(es) never accepted any responsibility. Short of transferring so they can play for a 'program,' what about these instances? Instead of just saying 'go somewhere else to play,' why can't or shouldn't partents get involved...since it's not getting done by the so-called responsible parties? It's their community and school, too. Why not call for a change in the coach for the sake of the overall program? I can't speak for everybody, but my children work hard, hustle, sweat too much...and even bleed sometimes...and care about trying to win every game than to just overlook incompetent, selfish and arrogant coaches.

My comment to this is that sometimes in the real world you are going to get a boss you dont like or doesnt do a good job or is just there for the money and you have 2 options in the real world 1. Learn how to work with that boss and even though you may not agree with it do as instructed to do or 2. Quit. so what better way for a teenager to learn about real life than that I prefer my kids took the first option because in the end it all works out for the best one way or another

[tnfisher]

My question, though, would be, what about glaringly incompetent coaches that are allowed to stay on until they quit or retire?

 

As riverdale man said, that's part of life. I assure you that it will not do any good to constantly berate the coach around your child, family, or other parents. (Not suggesting you have done this) Sometimes we simply have to encourage our children to make the best of it by working as hard as they can and having as much fun as possible. In many places with a dormant program or smaller sports the administration may be telling the truth about there not being anybody else for the job. These are not highly paid college or pro coaches we are talking about, and in the losing programs or smaller sports some of these people were even talked into the job by the local administration.

[5-Sport Dad]

My comment to this is that sometimes in the real world you are going to get a boss you dont like or doesnt do a good job or is just there for the money and you have 2 options in the real world 1. Learn how to work with that boss and even though you may not agree with it do as instructed to do or 2. Quit. so what better way for a teenager to learn about real life than that I prefer my kids took the first option because in the end it all works out for the best one way or another

Not always... Also, I'm not a quitter, so I prefer to at least try to right tha wrong.

[5-Sport Dad]

As riverdale man said, that's part of life. I assure you that it will not do any good to constantly berate the coach around your child, family, or other parents. (Not suggesting you have done this) Sometimes we simply have to encourage our children to make the best of it by working as hard as they can and having as much fun as possible. In many places with a dormant program or smaller sports the administration may be telling the truth about there not being anybody else for the job. These are not highly paid college or pro coaches we are talking about, and in the losing programs or smaller sports some of these people were even talked into the job by the local administration.

This is exactly what we've done to our children and others. But, in the end, the individual players are the ones that must decide if they want to continue to endure it. Everybody has their own personal breaking point.