All Knowing Disgruntled Parents and Relatives ONLY

[LCborn]

LCborn,

You sound like you know a little baseball - why don't you coach it at the HS level and help those kids get better? Don't say you don't have the time or your job won't allow it.

JUST DO IT!!!!

Well, actually I do, from time to time. I'm working with three kids right now and I've worked with two or three others on the team. Either they or their parents often come to me (or go to one of the team Dads, who knows a lot more about baseball than I do) when the kids are struggling. Sometimes it's just for a tip, sometimes it's for some instruction. I never volunteer to help a kid because I don't want to get into challenging the coach but I don't turn a kid down when he asks me for help.

 

Sure, that's not really full-bore coaching, I know. But I enjoy instructing and I seem to see mechanical problems that the coach and his assistants don't, and to be able to help kids understand and work through some of that.

 

Now, will the coach get smarter? He would, if he listened to criticisms. He avoids them. Last year he carried on a conversation with a Dad entirely through one of his assistants--he wouldn't talk to the Dad face-to-face. He seems to take questions (much less criticisms) as challenges to his authority. But, if he did listen to criticisms, he could get better. Criticism is a form of feedback, after all. And without feedback, one can't improve.

 

When do the kids start to question a weak coach? Are you kidding? These kids aren't dopes, most of them have been playing baseball since they were 5. A few of them have been coached by college coaches and former professionals while playing for competitive teams. It doesn't take more than 1 or 2 practices for them to start wondering whether a weak coach knows what he's doing. They almost all recognize when the better players aren't playing or are playing out of position. Come on, get real, do you think some kid is going to read something on a message board and suddenly start questionning a coach?

 

So, let's turn this around a bit--what does this thread hope to accomplish by dismissing all parents' criticisms as the whining of ignorant weenies?

[GradfromtheNest]

You can be a non-faculty coach if you pass the Coaching Principles and Sports First Aid Test at the TSSAA Coaching Clinics.

 

And you have to be careful. As a coach, crticism is a very delicate topic. I can take contructive criticism from people who know a little about what they're talking about. But most of the time, the parents who know a little about baseball, or at least support the team and program concept, let the coach do his job. In my experience, it's always the parents of the kid who doesn't play, or the parents of the kid who got cut that cause the most problems. The other parents are cooperative. And my thinking is, the coaching baseball is a job. If you don't win, you lose that job. So I'm doing the best I can to have a successful program!

[GradfromtheNest]

Another thing that really chaps my hide is when certain parents say other kids are playing only because their dads or parents are always helping out within the program (i.e. working on facility, field, booster club officer, etc.). A specific instance: Last year a freshman at a certain school hit over .400 and played very well, DHed in the cleanup spot, but the only reason he played according to some was because his parents were really involved in the program. That's absurd! Supportive parents are the backbone of a successful high school athletic program, and nothing will ever change that. Maybe if some of you whiners would get out there and get involved, you'd help the program instead of being a cancer to the team by criticizing everything!

[jabstep]

My thing is....do something about it! 1.If you know so much, get your teaching degree, apply for a job, get hired and do a better. 2. Take your kid somewhere else and stop ruining the current program your child is in. 3. Make him/her quit. 4. Most important......Don't get on a gossip board and talk about it.......do something productive for everyone concerned. Or, refer to rules 1-4.

[trl]

LCBorn-

 

Just Curious. Are you interested in speaking at the next TBCA coaches clinic? Well heck, what about the American Baseball Coaches Clinic? I think you need to take over the whole program sounds like you've got it all figured out. These posts totally disgust me. Head coaching postitions "used" to be well respected positions and now all the parents care about is their kids playing and making themselves look good. You forgot about the endless hours and hard work that Coach Greene has spent in this game. TKE hit the nail on the head. GREAT POST TKE! People just don't know the complexity of being a head baseball coach in HIGH SCHOOL, COLLEGE, AND/OR PRO. You don't know till you've been there. Hang in there Coach Greene alot of people are pulling for you!

[sportsradiotn]

LCborn,

 

Yes, some parents do know about the game...I believe that you would be more of an exception than the norm. I also agree with coacht about what does it accomplish to stand on the side and gripe.

I currently coach the 16-19 year old Senior Babe Ruth/Traveling team in Union City, but coached 13-15 year old Babe Ruth for 10 years and heard from so many parents about their kids.

I never penalized a player for making an error. Example, I had a young firstbaseman miss three perfect throws to first one game and that allowed six runs to score and we lost the game. I never yelled at him nor yanked him out in the middle of the inning - something I cannot stand. After the game, we talked about the errors and how to correct it and then worked on it in practice. Do you think the parent remembered that? No, they just got upset every time he came out of the game so others could play and started griping to the other parents in the bleachers about how I didn't know what I was doing. Fact is, the player wasn't that good, but he was a good kid and deserved a shot.

The only reasons playing time would be limited on my team was for either they didn't hustle as hard as they should, missed practice, weren't on time or they weren't team players. Those that aren't as good as the others cannot get better by sitting the bench...if they played maybe they get better. But, they certainly would have something to remember their time in youth league sports by playing in games. That's something a coach must deal with and the parents will never understand.

If a kid has done everything to warrant playing time and never plays, then I can understand a parent questioning the coach and becoming a bit upset. Otherwise, I expect parents to be fans of the kids and the team and nothing more.

I have a rule that if the player or his parents are concerned about playing time then the player can talk to me about it, but not the parents. I have enough to deal with and have no time for griping parents. If the parents insist on talking with me, I'll listen to them. When they're finished griping, I tell them honestly why their kid is not playing as much as they would like. Sometimes they don't like the answer, but I could care less...I'm not there for the parents - that would be a babysitter - I'm there for the kids.

[LCborn]

If my posts truly "totally disgust" you then I think you've closed your mind to legitimate issues some of us have with our coaches.

 

I have no idea who "Coach Greene" is.

 

I have no problems with my kid's playing time. I have a buddy who is even more critical than I am; his kid has played every inning of every game. It is easy to dismiss critical points as just a parent whining over playing time but that doesn't apply to me. You'll have to find some other reason for being dismissive.

 

Sarcasm and disdain are also very easy. They are neither very helpful nor very thoughtful responses, though.

 

Head coach "positions" should not be respected past what is due to any adult working in a school system and in a position of authority. The "position" should receive no more respect than that of any other teacher. If a coach wants to get to "well respected" he has to earn that. Personally. He has to gain the respect of his players and parents through his actions and his interactions with the people in his program. It should not be granted to him as a benefit of the position nor should a coach expect such respect to automatically be given to him.

[LCborn]

To be fair, I should also add that there are some things that our coach does well. He works very hard to give the kids a nice field to play on. The program's finances seem to be in good order.

 

My criticisms are primarily that skill development and talent recognition are not done well, lineup decisions (not just playing time but positioning) and handling of the pitching staff are weak, and that communication with parents and players could be much better.

 

Sportsradiotn, I wish that I could be just a fan. During my whole youth coaching experience I had it in mind that I'd get my kids through that and then turn them over to the professionals once they hit HS. But I've found that if I want my kids to continue to progress as players I've had to resume the responsibility for their skill development. They'd get worse instead of better, if I didn't. And I don't like that.

 

Now, as far as getting on a gossip board and talking about it, well, isn't that what you've done, too, jabstep? Even if it was to provide a counterpoint? Sure, maybe I'm just venting and even whining some but, heck, if that wasn't permitted there'd be a lot fewer posts here. As far as doing something positive, I've talked to the coach, the AD, the principal, and the superintendant of schools. So have other parents. I have been specific and analytical, rather than emotional, about the problems I see. There's good and bad, and what I'd really like is for the bad to improve. Some of it has improved. Dumb bunting was way down last year and has been this year, for example--something I posted about in the past, BTW, although there's probably no connection. But if posting can give me another channel to reach our coach or other coaches out there and make them sensitive to the issues I raise, it seems to me to also be a potentially positive response.

 

As far as taking my kid somewhere else, well, I've thought about it. I've enquired at local private schools as to their tuition. We lost a kid who turned out to be all-district a couple of years ago when his parents decided to move out of the program. At least one current starter's family is thinking about moving in order to change programs. I hate to see a community disrupted that way. I'd much rather see our coach improve. He has gotten better, too. But like I said earlier, criticism is feedback, and feedback is necessary.

[moosebychoice]

Every situation is different. Sometimes the parent is right, sometimes the coach is right. This thread would be better if everyone on this thread criticizing in either direction knew all the details of every situation.

[sportsradiotn]

LC,

 

I have no disgust with your posts. Like I stated, you seem to be an exception rather than the norm. You say you know the game and with the credentials you've listed, I'd say you do. I was just pointing out some problems with dealing with parents. I do believe that you have to earn the respect of the players first, then the parents. Believe it or not, players will respect you for your knowledge of the game and your ability to teach it to them not whether or not you win. Parents equate winning with respect, but they are not the same thing. But, like I stated, the parents are of no concern to me when I'm on the field. The players come first and always will. Their learning of the game that is so dear to me is the most important reason I got into coaching...giving back to the community.

Let me say, parents like you are great to have in the stands - no two people are going to agree on everything and coaching moves are subject to debate especially by those that are qualified and understand the game, but parents who gripe just for selfish reasons are a liability. I have a great friend that coaches in the same league as I do and we do not see eye to eye and debate moves sometimes. But, we do not put each other down to others. That to me is the type of damage disgruntled parents cause.

[LCborn]

LC,

 

I have no disgust with your posts. Like I stated, you seem to be an exception rather than the norm. You say you know the game and with the credentials you've listed, I'd say you do. I was just pointing out some problems with dealing with parents. I do believe that you have to earn the respect of the players first, then the parents. Believe it or not, players will respect you for your knowledge of the game and your ability to teach it to them not whether or not you win. Parents equate winning with respect, but they are not the same thing. But, like I stated, the parents are of no concern to me when I'm on the field. The players come first and always will. Their learning of the game that is so dear to me is the most important reason I got into coaching...giving back to the community.

Let me say, parents like you are great to have in the stands - no two people are going to agree on everything and coaching moves are subject to debate especially by those that are qualified and understand the game, but parents who gripe just for selfish reasons are a liability. I have a great friend that coaches in the same league as I do and we do not see eye to eye and debate moves sometimes. But, we do not put each other down to others. That to me is the type of damage disgruntled parents cause.

Well, I'm glad you're not disgusted--some responders have been.

 

I couldn't agree with you more about kids respecting coaches for knowledge and teaching. I'd even go farther than just respect. I think that most kids will give you their hearts if they can see that you're making them better players. Almost all the kids you see on a HS field really want to be good and really want to be better, and they'll develop a lifetime affection for a coach who is helping them learn the game.

 

And I've no problem with disagreements about strategy and tactics. There are different ways to win and different philosophies. I might disagree with you, but I think I recognize a style difference versus a substantive difference. There's a big difference between saying "I wouldn't have done that" and "That was dumb."

 

I think that what you said about being a youth coach and being in it just for the kids is correct. I think, though, that a HS coach has a wider responsibility. He's part of the school system and should be, therefore, a part of the educational program of that school system. He's supported by tax dollars, after all. So, I think a HS coach has not only the players as his "customers" but also the community, including the parents of his players.

[jeffersonairplane]

I am a parent coach, wish I didn't have to. I would wish that no parent would coach their child, if we lived in a perfect world. It is normally one of two ways. The parent expects to much from their child ( which I do) or they play favorism with their child.