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No Pass, No Play


BobcatGraduate04
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Barb,

  "I could really care less what rules apply to athletes. My children need only worry about one rule... Mine...."

 

Why did you come on and dump on some coach?  Laz was right the first time.  It's terrific that you had a high school sport to hold over your son's head were able to use that sport and the coach to turn out a successful son.  It's too bad you couldn't have done something else than to deny your son and others the opportunity to work together.

 

I'm sure he wasn't coming home and watching TV and playing video games until he started playing baseball!

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I am growing very weary of defending my parenting skills. It really isn't about the sports is it? It about the fact that I would assert my own parental right to raise my son as I see fit instead according to TSSAA rules. If making my son sit out 1 season of sports in 4 years of high school was a sin then I am probably going to some parent heck run by drill seargent coaches and single minded men who think women can't possibly raise male children without screwing them up.

 

I can assure my son was always able to predict the consequences of his actions with amazing accuracy. Prior to the beginning of football practice in the fall it was made clear that at any point should his overall GPA fall below a C then he sits out until his grades improve. At 16, a young man should be taking responsibility for his actions. He did not and suffered the consequences.

 

As far as "dumping on some coach", the question Bobcat graduate posed on page 2 of the thread was whether we thought counties , schools or even coaches should set GPA requirements. This coach was more concerned with my son's athletic performance than his academic performance.He even had the audacity to question my judgement. I personally believe minimum GPA requirements should be set but I would not leave it to the sole discretion of the coaches.

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I am growing very weary of defending my parenting skills. It really isn't about the sports is it? It about the fact that I would assert my own parental right to raise my son as I see fit instead according to TSSAA rules. If making my son sit out 1 season of sports in 4 years of high school was a sin then I am probably going to some parent heck run by drill seargent coaches and single minded men who think women can't possibly raise male children without screwing them up.

 

I can assure my son was always able to predict the consequences of his actions with amazing accuracy. Prior to the beginning of football practice in the fall it was made clear that at any point should his overall GPA fall below a C then he sits out until his grades improve. At 16, a young man should be taking responsibility for his actions. He did not and suffered the consequences.

 

As far as "dumping on some coach", the question Bobcat graduate posed on page 2 of the thread  was whether we thought counties , schools or even coaches should set GPA requirements. This coach was more concerned with my son's athletic performance than his academic performance.He even had the audacity to question my judgement. I personally believe minimum GPA requirements should be set but I would not leave it to the sole discretion of the coaches.

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How could anyone argue with her logic? thumb

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I am growing very weary of defending my parenting skills. It really isn't about the sports is it? It about the fact that I would assert my own parental right to raise my son as I see fit instead according to TSSAA rules. If making my son sit out 1 season of sports in 4 years of high school was a sin then I am probably going to some parent heck run by drill seargent coaches and single minded men who think women can't possibly raise male children without screwing them up.

 

I can assure my son was always able to predict the consequences of his actions with amazing accuracy. Prior to the beginning of football practice in the fall it was made clear that at any point should his overall GPA fall below a C then he sits out until his grades improve. At 16, a young man should be taking responsibility for his actions. He did not and suffered the consequences.

 

As far as "dumping on some coach", the question Bobcat graduate posed on page 2 of the thread  was whether we thought counties , schools or even coaches should set GPA requirements. This coach was more concerned with my son's athletic performance than his academic performance.He even had the audacity to question my judgement. I personally believe minimum GPA requirements should be set but I would not leave it to the sole discretion of the coaches.

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You set reasonable guidelines...and those guidelines were not met. In the real world...kids & adults have to make those decisions every day of their lives. I think your son will know responsibility and the consequences of not living up to those responsibilities. Good for you.

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Chill Barb,

 

I think people have asked questions and stated opinions; no one has attacked you that I can see. Why do you feel a need to defend yourself?

 

Also, who mentioned your being a woman, female, or mother? I haven't seen anybody refer to that except you.

 

And as someone said, there are already minimum standards for grades; perhaps they're not high enough to suit you, or me, but that's something we all live with.

 

I also wonder, did he start watching TV and playing video games excessively when he started playing baseball?

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Chill Barb,

 

I think people have asked questions and stated opinions; no one has attacked you that I can see.  Why do you feel a need to defend yourself?

 

Also, who mentioned your being a woman, female, or mother?  I haven't seen anybody refer to that except you.

 

And as someone said, there are already minimum standards for grades; perhaps they're not high enough to suit you, or me, but that's something we all live with.

 

I also wonder, did he start watching TV and playing video games excessively when he started playing baseball?

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Perhaps you should read this entire thread CW. I have been slammed repeatedly for what had been perceived as a bad parenting decision. I have been referred to as "Babe", which is a bit out of line for a 52-year old grandmother such as myself. As far as your last question, it is really not the point. The man asked for us to opine on minimum GPA and I did.

 

I bet if I had a handle that was notobviously female such as Barbwire I would be getting congtatulations for setting such wonderful standarda for my kid.

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CW - nice try. I think your question was right on the money. The coach was to blame because the kid watched TV?

 

I don't care whether you're male or female, mother, grandmother, etc. Your approach toward withdrawing you son from the team was arrogant, and the fact that you think it's OK just shows the change in parental attitude over the last 30 years. Whatever's best for me - is OK!

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CW - nice try.  I think your question was right on the money.  The coach was to blame because the kid watched TV?

 

I don't care whether you're male or female, mother, grandmother, etc.  Your approach toward withdrawing you son from the team was arrogant, and the fact that you think it's OK just shows the change in parental attitude over the last 30 years.  Whatever's best for me - is OK!

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No, whatever is best for my son is OK. The responsibility was his and he blew it. As parents we are not just responsible for raising children. We are charged with the duty of creating functioning adults. We all have to function within set guidelines. I set those guidelines for my son and he AGREED to follow them. If it makes you feel better he lost his tv, phone, and video game priviliges as well. At 16 it is time to assume some responsibility for yourself. Time to start growing up. My son is 26 years old now. He grew up with structure and discipline. He was not coddled, micro-managed or over-extended as so many children are today. He has done military service, has 1 degree and is working on another. He works full time and owns his own home. I am sorry if you find my unwillingness to compromise my principles arrogant. I believe consistancy it the backbone of good parenting. My kids always knew when I said something I meant it. The know they can count on me to be just as unwaivering in my support of their abilities as adults.

 

I did my job and my children are ready to do theirs.

Edited by barb
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Barb...I admire your stance. thumb

 

Pulling your son off a team is not an easy thing to do especially if you know your son enjoys baseball. It sounds as if your son knew the consequences. Good parents stand behind their words and beliefs. What good are idle threats???

 

I`ll even go a step further. If your son brought home D`s on his report card, his coach should have kicked him off or at least made him stay after school and study instead of practice until his grades improved.

 

All parent`s should be more like yourself.

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greetings bard,

 

you say "52 year old grandmother" like there arent people out here who think that IS a young babe! and while i (probably) disagreed with your method, nothing trumps the fact that you cared. you would be shocked how many kids are out there raising themselves. the ultimate measure of a parent is that they are trying to do the job. you pass.

i only "probably" disagreed with your method, because i dont know how transparent it was. if you told the coach beforehand what your standards were, then more power to you. as i read the initial post, this was something that (from his end) just happened without warning.

in my experience, the coaches i have been around have always monitored the academic performance of their players. for many of the athletes it is the only person paying any attention at all. if your coach knew the "rules" and let the kid fall below standard, then he had no complaint.

as for judging you harshly for being a female. it would be the opposite. women are less likely to have exposure to sports, especially from your generation. i would not expect you to see things the same way i do.

as far as academic standards. i do not understand why athletes are eligible with ANY grade below a C. but i dont get to make the rules. i would have no problem with the daily homework eligibility the other coaches mentioned. i just think it is fair that i know what the rules are. i have always believed that pushing academics was a big part of my job. if it takes the desire to play sports to make it work, so what. the important thing is that it gets done.

 

and speaking of learning responsibility. i am due at a meeting in 10 minutes....

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greetings bard,

 

you say "52 year old grandmother" like there arent people out here who think that IS a young babe! and while i (probably) disagreed with your method, nothing trumps the fact that you cared. you would be shocked how many kids are out there raising themselves. the ultimate measure of a parent is that they are trying to do the job. you pass.

i only "probably" disagreed with your method, because i dont know how transparent it was. if you told the coach beforehand what your standards were, then more power to you. as i read the initial post, this was something that (from his end) just happened without warning.

in my experience, the coaches i have been around have always monitored the academic performance of their players. for many of the athletes it is the only person paying any attention at all. if your coach knew the "rules" and let the kid fall below standard, then he had no complaint.

as for judging you harshly for being a female. it would be the opposite. women are less likely to have exposure to sports, especially from your generation. i would not expect you to see things the same way i do.

as far as academic standards. i do not understand why athletes are eligible with ANY grade below a C. but i dont get to make the rules. i would have no problem with the daily homework eligibility the other coaches mentioned. i just think it is fair that i know what the rules are. i have always believed that pushing academics was a big part of my job. if it takes the desire to play sports to make it work, so what. the important thing is that it gets done.

 

and speaking of learning responsibility. i am due at a meeting in 10 minutes....

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Thanks Laz. I guess 52 is young to someone "raised from the dead". I am beginning to understand where some of the negativity is coming from. I guess I am not supposed to understand how guys feel about sports. Look guys, all of my kids started playing sports at 5 and 6 years old. I lived at ballparks , fields and gymnasium for the better part of 25 years. I have carpooled teams to tournaments , bought after-game ice cream, and washed team jerseys.

I listened to my son whine in Jr high when he got benched and glowed with pride when he made all-state. And through it all I tried to make him understand that participation in sports was a privilege and with privilege comes responsibility.

 

These coaches who have established minimum performance standards, whether GPA or homework(great idea), are to be applauded. However believe it or not there are still coaches out there who forget there is more to their teams than x's and o's.

Edited by barb
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