Blind at Birth?

[Uncleshreck]

Is it just me or are Parents blinded upon the birth of their children?

When a child is born, the parents and grandparents look upon this red, wrinkled,

eyes swollen shut, bald child and say ohhh how beautiful.

 

this seems to continue on thru their lives. My daughter doesn't make errors like his daughter, my daughter hits better than his daughter and it goes on and on.

Does it ever end?

 

I've seen this for years, my daughter has played ball for 12 of 16 years of her lifeand it seems to allways be the same?

 

A coach friend of mine told me once "numbers don't lie" that is a true statement.

When you add the numbers you know where you stand!

 

At a recent High School game a parent showed me again how blind we can be.

Her daughter came up to bat, she struck out on three pitches that were over her head! She made throwing erorrs, just an all around bad game! This parent is the same parent who has cornered coaches every season to blame them for the daughters bad season. "If you had started her more she would have been able to show you how good she is" my answere would have been "If she had shown me how good she was, I would have started her more".

 

I guess my question is, are we all like this, do our children do no wrong in our eyes?

I hope and pray I'm not but, do we even see it,,,, when we're like that?

 

What are your thoughts.

[statman3]

Is it just me or are Parents blinded upon the birth of their children?

When a child is born, the parents and grandparents look upon this red, wrinkled,

eyes swollen shut, bald child and say ohhh how beautiful.

 

this seems to continue on thru their lives. My daughter doesn't make errors like his daughter, my daughter hits better than his daughter and it goes on and on.

Does it ever end?

 

I've seen this for years, my daughter has played ball for 12 of 16 years of her lifeand it seems to allways be the same?

 

A coach friend of mine told me once "numbers don't lie" that is a true statement.

When you add the numbers you know where you stand!

 

At a recent High School game a parent showed me again how blind we can be.

Her daughter came up to bat, she struck out on three pitches that were over her head! She made throwing erorrs, just an all around bad game! This parent is the same parent who has cornered coaches every season to blame them for the daughters bad season. "If you had started her more she would have been able to show you how good she is" my answere would have been "If she had shown me how good she was, I would have started her more".

 

I guess my question is, are we all like this, do our children do no wrong in our eyes?

I hope and pray I'm not but, do we even see it,,,, when we're like that?

 

What are your thoughts.

 

Great post Uncle,

 

I will restate something I placed on another thread a while back. From the day my daughter was born, I lost the ability to be objective about anything to do with her. I was on the phone with my mother and she asked if our newborn daughter was pretty. I thought it over for a moment and gave her the only honest reply I could come up with...."I can't tell". I realized at that moment that I had lost all objectivity. All I can say is realizing it is the first step to controlling it.

[softballscout]

A good high School coach will stop that in it's tracks, but good coaches are hard to find. Parents will be parents and are blind at what their daughters abilty truly is, these are daughters that go from travel team to travel team, or their parents end up creating a team for them. I have actually seen these parents transfer their daughter to another high school so she can be the "big dog" on a mediocre team. Only hurts them at the end, parents should be supportive but truthful with their children.

[fcd163]

I think that all parents share this phenomenon. I also think that if you are fortunate enough to be a parent AND a coach, you are in a tougher situation. The parent in me wants my daughter to be the best that she can be and I have obvious biases concerning her performance in relation to her teammates. At the same time, the coach in me tells me to stay objective and call it like it is. The way that I handle the situation is that I drop her off at practice and I make myself scarce. That way, I'm not watching what is going on with the team. When it comes game time, I just have to trust that her coach is playing her, and the other players, when and where he thinks it will benefit the team the most.

[VTEC]

You have to be honest with yourself and your children. If you cannot be objective about your daughter's abilities then how will she ever improve. I have three daughters who played softball (one a pitcher) I explained to them their weaknesses and what we needed to do to improve their game. It is not easy and requires a lot of work for all involved. One was happy to play in high school and be done. The youngest did not want to play anymore after 12U. The middle one is a senior and just commited to play in college next year. Again be honest with yourself and your kids and do what it takes to improve their skills. Don't blame coaches, other players, parents or the system. Make the effort to improve and your child will succeed.....

[5-Sport Dad]

What a great topic. But, this ain't necessarily the only 'section' for it to be discussed. Boys' parents have this 'syndrome,' too. And if you've been around long enough, you know that's right!

 

I'm the opposite of fcd163. I try to be VERY involved, but, at the same time, I TRY to be...shall we say...'stealthy?' I WANT to know what's going on with the team (can't wait for the next game(s) as I write this) and am very cognizant that the coaches are in charge. It's not MY time. Now, I have seen some parents get crazy. They're usually control freaks and, as my Mom says, still trying to play, but through their children. Seeing their actions reminds me of how NOT to act...I HOPE! I don't ever WANT to be a stumbling block for others because I lose my mind and forget how my parents expected me to act in public. Especially around children.

 

My so-called encouragement and constructive criticism's are yelled (just kiddin'!; she's a child AND a girl, so we need to be Dad...or Mom, not a Drill Sergeant) in the car or when we get home. I've ALWAYS agreed with the adage "praise 'em in public and ridicule/correct 'em behind closed doors.' I heard Bobby Knight say the other night on his ESPN reality show that the best teachers he ever had were intolerant. Of mistakes. (Bet y'all didn't know THAT from watching him coach? )

 

Again, good topic. I'm gonna keep up with it because I think this 'hits home' with almost ALL of us...parents and/or children...aka givers and receivers.

[coachh17]

Having coached both softball and basketball, I always found the parent problem to be worse in softball. This analysis is over-simplified, but offers some food for thought. I think the nature of the two games accounts for the difference. Basketball is about skill and athleticism, and I believe it is a little easier to see who has it and who doesn't during games over a course of a season. Some parents just take a little more time than others to see it. Softball is about pitching and defense. If you have a great pitcher and catcher you can set 7 mannequins in the field and win some games 1-0. Obviously most parents think their kid should be one of the mannequins. Coaches have to put players in the field who can consistently make the throws and catches required when the ball is hit to them. It also helps that your starters have a little speed and can handle the bat. Manufacturing one or two runs is often critical in winning games that are played at a high level. In many games you can get away with slow players or players who are weak defensively, because their weaknesses are not exposed in that particular game. As the level of play increases those weaknesses will be exposed more often and cost you games. Sadly many parents are blind to these little subtleties and don't mind losing a few games as long as their child is playing. It is the coach's job to put the right players on the field and to win games. Sometimes the decisions are very close and subjective, and mistakes are made, but they are honest mistakes and the intent was still to win. For many parents, the objective is playing time and team goals are secondary.

[coachh17]

I had hoped to generate a few opinions or comments, but I didn't think I would have the last word.

[Neil]

I had hoped to generate a few opinions or comments, but I didn't think I would have the last word.

 

The pertinent points have been discussed. What more would you have someone say?

[Uncleshreck]

I had hoped to generate a few opinions or comments, but I didn't think I would have the last word.

 

Coach, you were right parents as a rule don't see their childs short comings. It is the coach's job to win games but I do see coaches putting players in that shouldn't be there (that of course is my humble opinion). My wife and I went to a recent game, parked the car and before we could make it to the field, I saw 3 errors on third base! She stayed in the game we lost, of course it wasn't that girls fault, it just added to the problem.

Parents should be proud of their child in anything they do, it's just nice to be realistic about their skills.

My daughter has played softball, along with other sports, at our school for 5 years most of those years she has won awards (we are a very small 1A). Most of the awards she won were a curse rather than a blessing. Even with this I still try to make sure my daughter understands that the team is more important than the player.

Part of the reason for the post was to blow off steam! Our Coach is new this year and I hate to see him give in to pressure from parents.

Another problem we should look at is, what do we do to the other 8 individuals playing? At our last game we had a 10-1 lead, our coach pulled the entire team minus the pitcher and catcher, after one inning he realized maybe he was a little quick to make the changes, they came back on us. The coach said to me "I just want to give everyone a chance to play", I told the coach I agree with that but, the only problem is your killing your pitcher. My point is by taking care of the other 8 he was killing 1 (mine didn't pitch that night).

I think another good post would be "Baseball coaches in Softball", Deal with PMS a while!!!

[Vultor]

Coach, you were right parents as a rule don't see their childs short comings. It is the coach's job to win games but I do see coaches putting players in that shouldn't be there (that of course is my humble opinion). My wife and I went to a recent game, parked the car and before we could make it to the field, I saw 3 errors on third base! She stayed in the game we lost, of course it wasn't that girls fault, it just added to the problem.

Parents should be proud of their child in anything they do, it's just nice to be realistic about their skills.

My daughter has played softball, along with other sports, at our school for 5 years most of those years she has won awards (we are a very small 1A). Most of the awards she won were a curse rather than a blessing. Even with this I still try to make sure my daughter understands that the team is more important than the player.

Part of the reason for the post was to blow off steam! Our Coach is new this year and I hate to see him give in to pressure from parents.

Another problem we should look at is, what do we do to the other 8 individuals playing? At our last game we had a 10-1 lead, our coach pulled the entire team minus the pitcher and catcher, after one inning he realized maybe he was a little quick to make the changes, they came back on us. The coach said to me "I just want to give everyone a chance to play", I told the coach I agree with that but, the only problem is your killing your pitcher. My point is by taking care of the other 8 he was killing 1 (mine didn't pitch that night).

I think another good post would be "Baseball coaches in Softball", Deal with PMS a while!!!

ROFLMAO Been there!

[wingman10]

Great post Uncle,

 

I will restate something I placed on another thread a while back. From the day my daughter was born, I lost the ability to be objective about anything to do with her. I was on the phone with my mother and she asked if our newborn daughter was pretty. I thought it over for a moment and gave her the only honest reply I could come up with...."I can't tell". I realized at that moment that I had lost all objectivity. All I can say is realizing it is the first step to controlling it.