Long-snappers

[gopher15]

Thanks.  Hopefully these will also brighten your day.

 

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

 

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

 

something.

 

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

 

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

 

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

 

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

 

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

 

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

 

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

 

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

 

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

 

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

 

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

 

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

 

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

 

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

 

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

 

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

 

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

 

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is

 

research.

 

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

 

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

 

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

 

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried

 

before.

 

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

 

A fool and his money are soon partying.

 

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

 

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

 

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

 

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

 

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

 

Half the people you know are below average.

 

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

 

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

 

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

you must be really smart to think of all these things up on the spot!

Great ones.

you mean that he didn't type these himself? Techmology never ceases to amaze me!!!

[Eddie Van Halen]

Thanks.  Hopefully these will also brighten your day.

 

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

 

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

 

something.

 

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

 

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

 

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

 

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

 

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

 

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

 

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

 

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

 

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

 

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

 

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

 

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

 

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

 

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

 

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

 

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

 

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

 

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is

 

research.

 

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

 

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

 

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

 

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried

 

before.

 

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

 

A fool and his money are soon partying.

 

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

 

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

 

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

 

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

 

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

 

Half the people you know are below average.

 

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

 

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

 

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

you must be really smart to think of all these things up on the spot!

Great ones.

you mean that he didn't type these himself? Techmology never ceases to amaze me!!!

I think this comes from a comedian named Scott Tillman.

[gopher15]

Thanks.  Hopefully these will also brighten your day.

 

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

 

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

 

something.

 

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

 

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

 

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

 

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

 

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

 

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

 

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

 

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

 

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

 

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

 

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

 

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

 

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

 

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

 

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

 

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

 

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

 

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is

 

research.

 

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

 

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

 

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

 

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried

 

before.

 

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

 

A fool and his money are soon partying.

 

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

 

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

 

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

 

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

 

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

 

Half the people you know are below average.

 

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

 

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

 

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

you must be really smart to think of all these things up on the spot!

Great ones.

you mean that he didn't type these himself? Techmology never ceases to amaze me!!!

I think this comes from a comedian named Scott Tillman.

I think these are scottish proverbs

[Eddie Van Halen]

Thanks.  Hopefully these will also brighten your day.

 

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

 

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

 

something.

 

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

 

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

 

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

 

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

 

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

 

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

 

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

 

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

 

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

 

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

 

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

 

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

 

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

 

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

 

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

 

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

 

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

 

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is

 

research.

 

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

 

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

 

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

 

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried

 

before.

 

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

 

A fool and his money are soon partying.

 

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

 

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

 

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

 

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

 

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

 

Half the people you know are below average.

 

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

 

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

 

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

you must be really smart to think of all these things up on the spot!

Great ones.

you mean that he didn't type these himself? Techmology never ceases to amaze me!!!

I think this comes from a comedian named Scott Tillman.

I think these are scottish proverbs

You're probably right. However, I think Scott is Scottish.

[gopher15]

Thanks.  Hopefully these will also brighten your day.

 

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

 

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked

 

something.

 

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

 

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

 

Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

 

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

 

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

 

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

 

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

 

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

 

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

 

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

 

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

 

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

 

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

 

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

 

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

 

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

 

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

 

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to be on it.

 

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

 

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

 

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is

 

research.

 

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

 

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

 

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

 

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried

 

before.

 

Change is inevitable....except from vending machines.

 

A fool and his money are soon partying.

 

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.

 

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

 

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

 

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

 

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

 

Half the people you know are below average.

 

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

 

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

 

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

you must be really smart to think of all these things up on the spot!

Great ones.

you mean that he didn't type these himself? Techmology never ceases to amaze me!!!

I think this comes from a comedian named Scott Tillman.

I think these are scottish proverbs

You're probably right. However, I think Scott is Scottish.

you're probably right

[tackle]

More Humor from Scotty McTillman:

 

If a cat always lands on its feet, and bread always lands butter side down;

What would happen if you buttered your bread and strapped it on the back of your cat?

 

The Physics class at Mt. Union tried this experiment a few years ago. They found that the bread landed on the bottom 54.73% and the cat landed on its feet 65.48% of the time. The results were inconclusive the other -20.21% of the time. Results were calculated with a margin of error of + or - 4 points.

 

PETA sent representatives to protest the experiment. They held a non-violent sit in at the Weber Science Center. Mt. Union assured them that they had used 100% all vegetable margerine rather than real butter, but the protestors remained for 2 weeks. The school felt sorry for the protesters and sent out for hamburgers to feed them.

[Davidson1]

More Humor from Scotty McTillman:

 

 

PETA sent representatives to protest the experiment. They held a non-violent sit in at the Weber Science Center.

That McTillman guy is pretty funny, but what you whackin PETA fer?

 

You some ulra-conservative? If U R I know where i can get you some

presciption pills.

[ie3]

More Humor from Scotty McTillman:

 

 

PETA sent representatives to protest the experiment.  They held a non-violent sit in at the Weber Science Center.

That McTillman guy is pretty funny, but what you whackin PETA fer?

 

You some ulra-conservative? If U R I know where i can get you some

presciption pills.

obviously you been takin' some!

[Eddie Van Halen]

More Humor from Scotty McTillman:

 

 

PETA sent representatives to protest the experiment.  They held a non-violent sit in at the Weber Science Center.

That McTillman guy is pretty funny, but what you whackin PETA fer?

 

You some ulra-conservative? If U R I know where i can get you some

presciption pills.

You obvioulsy don't know tackle as I know him. He is anything but ultra-conservative. He is the president of the local chapter of Football Enthusiats for Condoning And Loving All That is Liberal (FECAL-ATL). He loves Clinton. Voted for him in '92, '96 and even wrote him in the ballot in '00. Hwen Clinton was governor of AR tackle actually moved there just to be closer to the man. He has tattoo on his right calf of the ACLU and their entire mission statement (he has big calves). He has a poster on his office wall of a life sized Jesse Jackson and his entire family (he has a big office). He hates Limbaugh, Roy Moore and David Starr.

[bigjohnson4wh]

Best long snapper last year had to be Blake Webster from white house tn....I went to kicking/ longsnapping camp with him at mtsu and he snapped one that knocked Jeff Hall flat on his butt.....did I mention he plays for ut now? :justwrestle:

[KTownJackets]

Someone mentioned the AC long snapper earlier in this thread. Well, he may not be as great as you think. He quite possibly cost them the game against Kingston last friday. The snap was great...if your punter was 13 feet tall. It went over his head and rolled for ~15 yards giving Kingston the field posision the need to win the game

 

The best huh?

[hsfball]

Someone mentioned the AC long snapper earlier in this thread. Well, he may not be as great as you think. He quite possibly cost them the game against Kingston last friday. The snap was great...if your punter was 13 feet tall. It went over his head and rolled for ~15 yards giving Kingston the field posision the need to win the game

 

The best huh?

825367093[/snapback]

Hey man, I hate to break it to you, but this whole thread is a joke. Take it from the guy that started it.