Coaches Humiliating Players

[sls]

As a player several years ago, I was not playing up to my potential. I thought I was. I was out there just not trying to make a mistake, proud to be on the floor, and I thought doing my best. My coach who has now passed away, called a timeout. In friont of a packed house, he ate me alive. ref came over and said coach time is up. He called another one and told the ref, just put the timeouts on automatic until I am done. He wore me out. I am a pretty big and tough fellow by a lot of folks stds. . I was embarressed, humiliated, etc, etc. I loved that coach. I still think of him every day. There was nothing he would not do for me. I would not be the person I am today without his influence. Ididn't like it at the time, but I led the team in rebounds, assists, steals, blocks and scoring after he eat me out. And I had never scored or gotten a rebound in high school before that.

Now I am older and had a son that played high school basketball. He was all district, all region. He had a coach that in my mind did him wrong. I dislike that man today. My son nor his teammates felt my son was treated fairly. Why I don't know, but my son as bad as they disliked each other at the time, is the assisant coach under his high school coach now and they get along great. I nor anyone else can belive it. I never confronted my sons coach. Believe me I wanted to and it would not have been pretty had I done it. Now even though I still belive he did not treat my son fairly, evidently it was not as bad as it appeared. It is tough on us parents, so just hang in there, it will work out.

[philtenn]

As is often the case, the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle - the coach probably needs to apologize for losing his temper and the player's self-esteem probably did not shrivel up and die. The coach needs to get some control over his temper and if the player did get psychologically hurt and cannot recover, then he/she may need to get some help so he/she can handle the stress of playing a competitive sport. If a wild-eyed saliva spewing "adult" is someone that the player will allow to lower his/her self-esteem (permanently), then imagine the humiliation and psychological damage he/she would feel when he/she fails at something that really matters (competition-wise) - like missing both free throws when your team is down by one with no time left. In fact, if the player is that fragile, could he/she even have a chance at being successful under such a circumstance?

[coachgat]

A good coach is a person who prepares his team for the upcoming game during practice. Practice is a time to discuss/teach/go over every possible thing that might happen during the upcoming game. Most good coaches that I have seen do not have to hardly get off his seat during a game. If he does have to yell, then it is yelling over the crowd what defense/offensive play to run. A good coach does not have to yell necessarily at any individual player, that is, if he/she has does their job during practice.

A coach who has to yell at individual players have either not prepared them for the game or the coach has already lost respect from that particular indidivual player.

 

I'm sorry but this isn't always the case. I know of a coach that coaches like what you described but he always gets his team prepared. He has an 86% win percentage in his 17 years as a head high school boys coach in Mississippi. He has 8 State titles. He develops talent like noone I've ever seen at this level. He coaches in 4-A basketball. Thomas Billups. Name sound familiar? He as a nephew that plays for the Pistons, Chancey Billups. The winning tradition didn't stop there. He has a son that played for him when he was in high school. His son actually coached against him in the State tournament a couple of years ago.

[sum1uno]

That is what is wrong with the world today....No one can take criticism from a coach, even if it is to make you play harder. We pamper our children today and give them every thing they want and then wonder why someone other than us scolds them for something. If parents can't hand out tough love, then maybe the coach should. Mom and Dad ain't always gonna be there for them....Look at it this way..Basketball or any other sport does help children learn respect and discipline if it is taught correctly. Don't always baby your child. Sometimes what happens to your child will only make them stronger. They must grow up sometime....

[DevilSpirit]

That is what is wrong with the world today....No one can take criticism from a coach, even if it is to make you play harder. We pamper our children today and give them every thing they want and then wonder why someone other than us scolds them for something. If parents can't hand out tough love, then maybe the coach should. Mom and Dad ain't always gonna be there for them....Look at it this way..Basketball or any other sport does help children learn respect and discipline if it is taught correctly. Don't always baby your child. Sometimes what happens to your child will only make them stronger. They must grow up sometime....

 

There's a difference between taking criticism and being treated like a dog.. When I constantly have someone I look up to and listen to telling me that i'm not any good and am a stupid ballplayer, it makes me nervous and makes me feel like i'm not capable of being good. On those nights I usually don't play my best game. But when he yells at me for not giving effort, or not paying attention, it makes me want to prove to him that I can.. No one ever plays perfect games, so for players to get hovered over and humiliated because of one mistake is pointless. Last night my coach was complimentary and helpful and we blew a district team that we were tied with out of the water.. While last Friday we never heard any positive feedback for anything, just negative comments and a coach that seemed to give up on us because he got so angry. It helps to feel like someone you look up to believes in you.. I know most of these posts are from parents looking in, I just thought I'd send a player's point-of-view.

[sum1uno]

There's a difference between taking criticism and being treated like a dog.. When I constantly have someone I look up to and listen to telling me that i'm not any good and am a stupid ballplayer, it makes me nervous and makes me feel like i'm not capable of being good. On those nights I usually don't play my best game. But when he yells at me for not giving effort, or not paying attention, it makes me want to prove to him that I can.. No one ever plays perfect games, so for players to get hovered over and humiliated because of one mistake is pointless. Last night my coach was complimentary and helpful and we blew a district team that we were tied with out of the water.. While last Friday we never heard any positive feedback for anything, just negative comments and a coach that seemed to give up on us because he got so angry. It helps to feel like someone you look up to believes in you.. I know most of these posts are from parents looking in, I just thought I'd send a player's point-of-view.

I'm not talking about being treated like a dog. My quote was if taught correctly. Honestly you probably don't know what being treated like a dog is. And please don't go with armed forces after school. They also like to break you down and then build you up. As far as your coach believing in you, I'm sure he does..You're still on the team ain't you...

[papatiger]

That is what is wrong with the world today....No one can take criticism from a coach, even if it is to make you play harder. We pamper our children today and give them every thing they want and then wonder why someone other than us scolds them for something. If parents can't hand out tough love, then maybe the coach should. Mom and Dad ain't always gonna be there for them....Look at it this way..Basketball or any other sport does help children learn respect and discipline if it is taught correctly. Don't always baby your child. Sometimes what happens to your child will only make them stronger. They must grow up sometime....

 

There's a difference in corrective criticism and being a coach who motivates his players, even if he yells at them. But there still is NO place for humiliation for a child under ANY circumstances. That's not pampering, that's the truth.

[sum1uno]

There's a difference in corrective criticism and being a coach who motivates his players, even if he yells at them. But there still is NO place for humiliation for a child under ANY circumstances. That's not pampering, that's the truth.

Was the child or parent humilated in this situation? If the coach is out of his or her control with the players then go to the Athelitic Director or Principal with the situation. I've been on both ends..Player and Coach. Sometimes attitudes with the players will push you to the end of your rope. A good coach will maintain control even if he has to step on a few parents toes along the way. If he is verbally abusing the players then higher authorities will step in. As far as humiliating goes though Pat Summit probably humiliates some of her players in someones eyes but that don't mean she isn't a great coach of the game...

[kbc00]

was the player humiliated yes he was. the first question asked has this happened before. yes it has.

[larry]

Rule No. 1: Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.

 

Rule No. 2: The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as much as your school does. It'll expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself. This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)

 

Rule No. 3: Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won't be a vice president or have a car phone either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.

 

Rule No. 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait 'til you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.

 

Rule No. 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity. They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.

 

Rule No. 6: It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a baby boomer.

 

Rule No. 7: Before you were born your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way paying your bills, cleaning up your room and listening to you tell them how idealistic you are. And by the way, before you save the rain forest from the blood-sucking parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your bedroom.

 

Rule No. 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers. Life hasn't. In some schools, they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)

 

Rule No. 9: Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summers off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we're at it, very few jobs are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)

 

Rule No. 10: Television is not real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.

 

Rule No. 11: Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

 

No, this list didn't originate with Microsoft head Bill Gates. This list is the work of Charles J. Sykes, author of the book Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write, Or Add.

 

There are actually three more rules:

 

Rule No. 12: Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.

 

Rule No. 13: You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.

 

Rule No. 14: Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.

Edited January 7, 2007 by larry

[JPW4Heisman07]

Nice stuff,but good news:not all kids follow this stereotype.Trust me,I coach Middle School Basketball and Baseball,I know.The bad news:some kids are,and the way we can discipline them is the way our parents did.Most of the time when I'm upset as a coach,its bad play and acting like they've never played before.Yes,I get red faced and can have blown the top and yelled at the half to make some kids cry but I've came back the next day and personally,calmly told the kids what they've done wrong and why I was so upset.One thing some of you would understand is,is that most of the time,parents ruin us coaches job.Remember,we aren't volunteering in the Rec League at the Y,this is our job,we do it for a living.We don't come to your work place and tell you how to do your job,same applies for us.

[kbc00]

The frustration of the high school coach starts with the middle school programs. In our area the middle school keeps to many kids on the team and dont take the time to teach the fundementals of the game. When they arrive at the high school and the coach takes the new players they are not fundementally sound.

 

I have had coaches tell me in high school they dont have time to teach fundementals. They say that they need to get ready for the season. Fundementals should a major part of practice every day. So if a coach humiliates a player for doing something wrong and has not taught them the correct way to do it shame on him. And as far as a coach telling me they dont have the time to teach fundementals then they are in the wrong sport.