Where's the MORALITY?

[Rebelsman]

I do not feel the problem is limited to the student section. When we went to school the administration would not allow the immoral behavior. Acting like that would get you thrown out of the gym and disciplined at school. When Momma found out it was "Katy bar the door".

 

This problem extends way beyond the gymnasium. The media is who I point my finger at. Movies, video games, and this internet are the culprits.

 

My Father-in-law was recently disturbed when he took my ten year old to Blockbuster and let him rent the video game "Grand Theft Auto". When I told him what a violent game it is, he was visibly shaken and very apologetic. Of course he didn't know.

 

The point is that kids have total access to immorality. We adults have seen so much of it that we are even somewhat numb to it.

 

Thanks for starting this thread Stokomo. Maybe some kid will read it and take heed.

[coachinhoops]

I agree with whoever said that it goes much deeper than the walls of the gymnasium. As a teacher in an extremely rural area one cannot help but notice the general decay of ethical life. Most, but not all children learn life's lessons, not from mom and dad, but from video games, television, movies, and the internet. Combine these lessons with those learned from each other and we are moving ever closer to a disasterous generation. Maybe we can reverse this trend before it is too late.

[khopkins]

Just in case one needs to know the actual definition of morality, this is from Merriam-Webster dictionary:

 

1 a : a moral discourse, statement, or lesson b : a literary or other imaginative work teaching a moral lesson

2 a : a doctrine or system of moral conduct b plural : particular moral principles or rules of conduct

3 : conformity to ideals of right human conduct

 

and the definition of moral is:

1 a : of or relating to principles of right and wrong in behavior : ETHICAL b : expressing or teaching a conception of right behavior c : conforming to a standard of right behavior d : sanctioned by or operative on one's conscience or ethical judgment e : capable of right and wrong act

 

I definitely think we cannot limit our blame/concerns to the student sections. There are many adults who display VERY poor sportsmanship. I've talked with a few TSSAA referees who don't like to go to some gyms because of the way the parents act. That is sad.

 

Through life, we immitate what we see. The question is, what are our students seeing in the behavior of us, the adults? More importantly, how can we change?

 

"One man practicing sportsmanship is far better than a hundred teaching it." Knute Rockne

[GovMan]

Here's a good example of how frustrating--and gullible--administrators can be. Many may have read one of my previous threads concerning one of William Blount's players who got his girlfriend pregnant last year. Against both Maryville and Bearden last season, when this player would touch the ball, the student sections would chant "daddy."

 

(interjection) This happened last year ... neither school's student sections have chanted "daddy" this year.

 

Anyway, both times it happened, someone from W.B. went to administrators from these other schools immediately to let them know what was going on. Maryville administrators immediately nipped it in the bud. Against Bearden however, an administrator was informed of what was going on-I have no idead of who she was-and she went over and talked to the students. When she returned, we (concerned WB fans) were told, they are not chanting "daddy" they are chanting "dough-dough" or something to that effect. I just had to scratch my head. Number one, why would student section chant "dough-dough" and number two, why only when this specific player had the ball?

 

I believe that a.d.'s and principals, assistant-principals, other teachers, coaches ... someone (with a clue) needs to stay close to student sections and make sure the students don't go "out of bounds" with their behavior. It works pretty well at W.B.

 

Also, parents (when applicable) play a crucial role. At William Blount vs Maryville football this year, I sat close to a William Blount player's dad, who had his 5th grade son and wife sitting with him in the stands. On several occasions I watched as he stood and yelled, "you stink ref ... you stink!" Now, what do you expect his fifth grader to be like as he grows up? I know, I know ... someone's gonna say, "stink" is just part of the vernacular (sp?) today. Well, it's not for my kids ... call me old fashioned.

 

GovMan

[CoachD33]

I give you a Good Mark Govman for not accepting "you stink" as appropriate at ballgames. I agree that compared to some language this is mild but in a crowd full of young, impressionable kids and older folks who are very offended I think it's unnecessary.

[Cubmom]

I agree! It is disturbing when not only the student section but also the parents yell ugly things. There is even a team that we play that has a teacher in their student section and unfortunately they are one of the worst about yelling inappropriate things at the opposing team- aimed specifically at certain players. It would be nice if everyone would sit in the stands and cheer for their team without any personal attacks on anyone- coaches, players, referees, other parents, etc. Unfortunately, that's not the way it is but we can still do our part in making it become that way- maybe it will be contagious.

[ELA]

I agree with everything you have said but I don't think this thing will go away anytime soon. I heard MTSU's former head football coach, Boots Donnelly, say one of the reasons he retired from coaching when he did a few years back was because he could no longer accept the type of behavior that is now common with student athletes. This is a problem that is systemic within our society. Boys and girls are allowed to say things in school and do things that heretofore were unacceptable. Even the NFHS has amended some of their considerations regarding inappropriate language. It seems to me you notice it more in basketball because of the close proximity of fans to players within the gym, but it is just as bad in football. Recently, I had an experience I have never had in coaching. A parent pulled his kid off the team because I confronted the student (and several others) for attending a party where alcohol, drugs, and other inappropriate activity was taking place. The parent in question thought that school representatives didn't have any business telling players what they could or couldn't do outside of school. I've really struggled with this concept because I fear this is where we are headed in society. We (coaches/teachers) used to be a part of the social community, and as such, we were all responsible for helping parents "raise" and cultivate moral, and ethical citizens. I have always considered this one of the most important aspects of coaching. Now, I just don't know if there are too many people who want us to play that role. It is a fact of life and I truly understand what you are saying. Too many people accept the decline of morality and ethics in society. We see it in music, art, sports, and every other aspect of our culture. Where does it end?

 

Let me end my part of this thread by saying, "My hat's off to coaches who will put their jobs on the line to do what is right." If we are not teaching ethics and being true to ourselves, then we have no business coaching. In my humble opinion, it is about more than winning games!

[Stokomo]

Excellent points!!! Good mark for you!! Now to answer your question about when it will end. It is a systematic problem that CAN go away. But it takes someone to start the trend. The decay of good morals had to start somewhere. So now we must start if we want to change things for the GOOD again. I am trying to do my part, first within, and then with my two daughters. My girls are 4 & 2 years of age. They already know what I expect of them. They are very polite to others. They do not disrespect adults. My girls really don't say much to other adults unless I okay it. I believe too many kids today are in adult conversations at too much of an early age. Some may say I'm to hard on them, but I was brought up that kids were not allowed in grown-folks conversations. We went to another room to play. It goes far beyond that illustration but those are some of the things that each person can do. Start within and work within your family. We may not see a significant change in our society, but someone has to start. I try my best to do right by others without getting taken advantage of. One person at a time can make a difference.

[DeepBall]

Most of what everyone has talked about is never going to change. Its just a fact now days. And being a student athlete I would like to see more coaches crack down on players that think they can do whatever they want just cause they can play. We need to show those kinda kids who is boss and let someone who is willing to do anything for the team play.

[swish1]

ELA and Stokomo, Im not trying to turn the tables here, I agree with everything you said. However I want your honest opinion of how it should be handled if a coach screams at one of his players......in the presences of the entire team......at a game.......yea you guessed it......"you stink" he then repeated the kids name and said it again! Tell me who gets involved here? administrators? Parents? No one? Does the kid confront the coach or just accept that at least in his coaches eyes.... he is no good?......and not only that, but if he is going to play basketball at his school he must play for a coach with QUESTIONABLE morals? Tell me how should it be handled??? Signed: a former coach

[ELA]

Your asking the wrong person... I spent too much time in the U.S. Army. I may not like that approach, and we may both agree it is not very effective, but that student must obey his coach or walk away. At no time can he talk back to the coach or make a public stand that involves shouting back or violence. Some coaches use words as a means to an end. I have said things to players in practice that I thought would motivate them... sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. I don't believe a coach should CURSE OUT A PLAYER at any time, but some do and are effective coaches. I think those types of coaches either get by with that "style" of coaching because they win, or because they have won in the past. EVERY COACH I HAD IN SCHOOL yelled, screamed, cursed... but that was over twenty-five(+) years ago. Today's coaches must use a variety of tactics to get what he needs out of his players. The point is I can't stand in judgement based on a single example. The greatest football coaches in history (Lombardi, "The Bear" etc.) all cursed on many occasions. Who can say what is appropriate for a coach to do today. I would turn it around on you and ask what brought about the coach's outburst (on second thought, don't tell me)? I doubt it was just one single incident. From my own experience, I have had players curse me, my assistants, their parents, other players, fans, referees, and the school administration. Then they are angry when you tell them to go to the locker room, sit down on the bench, or remove their pads and go home. Furthermore their parents will turn matters around on you (the coach) and blame you for how their children act. IT IS A QUESTION OF RESPONSIBILITY ALL THE WAY AROUND. As coaches, we are responsible for how we conduct ourselves in public and private. School administrators are held accountable for how their coaches and teachers act. Parents are responsible for how their children act. I think it is a growing problem that is "fed" by our pop culture. I am always shocked when I ask boys to provide me with songs for the weight room or pre-game music. I tell them the songs must be edited and appropriate for all ages. Every year, boys bring me songs with lyrics that are full of language I never heard or used in the Army. They listen to this all day long and think nothing about it. I then have to go back and ask them for the "Wal-Mart (edited)versions" before I can even consider listening to them. Our culture is under attack and we as teachers and coaches are on the forefront of the battle lines. I'm afraid we are losing the war, one battle at a time. Sometimes I feel like a character in a C.S. Lewis novel. If I can help a few young boys make the transition into manhood by teaching them dignity, character, ethics, and a sense of civic morality; I have done my job. If we can win a few games along the way... it's even better.

[ELA]

Stokomo... you are right about what our response must be. We can either roll over and accept what happens or we can take a stand and fight for what we believe. However, we must always understand that taking a stand may cost us our job. I know of some coaches who have been fired because they took a stand. My best advice is to "pick and choose our battles" carefully.

 

As for my family... my oldest son has made me very proud. He has never been in trouble with the law (except for a couple of speeding tickets). He is a Junior at West Point and plans to attend law school after he completes his service obligation. My youngest son has never been in trouble and is a scholarship student at Tech. There are still good kids out their who do not get drunk, high, or disobey authority. You just have to look a little harder to find them today!