Atlanta Braves

[Phoenix]

You are right and they did bring a few guys up from the minors last year to help fill that void in the bullpen. I think that they will be much improved.

[Wildcat 1970]

I copied this out of the Atlanta Braves forum on the Braves web site last year. This was then about the Braves bullpen and their troubles. Some guy made this up. Enjoy!

 

Wildcat 1970

 

Many in Braves Bullpen put on DL

Washington Sep. 11, 2005.

For Immediate Release

 

The Atlanta Braves today announced that several of their bullpen pitchers have been placed on the Disabled List. "This was a hard thing to do", said Braves skipper Bobby Cox, "but it's obvious that they are disabled". Cox continued, "In this game you are either able or you are disabled. These guys have shown themselves to be disabled".

 

None of the pitchers involved in this action have ailments which are tradtionally used for DL status, but the Braves felt that their maladies were serious enough for a stint on the DL. "I'd be surprised if any of them 'got well' before November. I think their disabilities are just too serious", said Cox.

 

While this will be a blow to those pitchers hoping to contribute in the stretch run and possibly in the post season, the Braves did issue each of them a handicapped sticker for thier car that they can use on their days off. "We wouldn't want any of them to further injure themselves with a long walk into a store." said a Braves spokesman. "We figured that if they got all tired out by walking in from the bullpen, they could use this help. It's the least we could do, really".

 

Placed on the disabled list today are:

John Foster has been disabled with "Mad Run Disease". A close relative to mad cow disease, which manifests itself by the loss of control of limbs by the sufferer. Typically, the worst effects are felt in the left arm. "I thought about trying him right handed", said Cox, "but it probably wouldn't do any good - he's just plain disabled". The Braves do offer hope that Foster may recover.

 

Christ Reitsma is down with "closebutnocigaritis". According to medical professionals, this is a disease of the mind in which the sufferer can almost fully perform a task, but always finds a way to fail in the end. "When Chris was always going 0-2 or 1-2 and then failing, we knew he had to be a head case", said Cox.

Jim Brower has been put on the DL with a case of the Runs. "This is not a very pretty disease", said a medical professional, "just when you are ready to perform a task, you find you have the runs - and Jim has had them often this year. Every time we think he's cured, he comes down with another case of the runs."

 

Dan Kolb is the last member of the pen who has earned a stint on the DL. His malady is perhaps the most serious of all the Braves and has not been known to medical science until now. While doctors are still searching for the cause, they have named this new disease Kolbzheimers. The disease causes a general cluelessness and lack of motor skills in the sufferer. "We really don't know if their will ever be a cure", said one doctor who has been studying this problem. "Dan may be a lost cause. We do hope he'll consent to being studied intensively in a lab." The lastest research has raised the possibility that this disease may be contagious and so in addition to being placed on the DL, Kolb has been relocated to an isolation chamber until at least November. "I hope this keeps our other pitchers from getting this horrible disease", said Cox.

 

The remainder of the Braves bullpen will be expected to take up the slack, but the Braves did announce that any fan who could throw more than 80 MPH at the "fast pitch" game outside the stadium would be given a tryout. "It's worth a try", said Cox, "I saw a fan the other day throw back one of Kolb's home runs. He had a pretty good arm".

As he walked away, Cox was heard to mutter, "they can't be any worse than this bunch".

[gotmilk?]

Anyone else see the rookie catcher hit the walk off three run blast?

 

http://atlanta.braves.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/n...t=.jsp&c_id=atl

[Gerry Bertier]

Anyone else see the rookie catcher hit the walk off three run blast?

 

http://atlanta.braves.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/n...t=.jsp&c_id=atl

 

Saw him play for the Myrtle Beach Pelicans last year, he and McCann are studs behind the plate. Plus I love his last name.

[gotmilk?]

Saw him play for the Myrtle Beach Pelicans last year, he and McCann are studs behind the plate. Plus I love his last name.

Yea, but I am not sure I am pronouncing it right yet?

[coach15]

going for 15th division title.....have a chance to get to 16 with Bobby and John both signed contract extensions through 2007

[muffin]

Renteria will pick up the slack left by Furcal

 

Yea, it will be fun to watch Francoeur, Howard(Phillies), and Wright(Mets) go at it for years to come!!!

Where did Furcal end going?

[Bledsoebtheboys]

Where did Furcal end going?

Dodgers....

[polk_wildcat]

What does everyone think about them this year, will they win another Division title???

 

Even though everbody doesn't think it will happen, I'm going out on a limb and saying that they will make it 15 in a row

[bballer13]

Even though everbody doesn't think it will happen, I'm going out on a limb and saying that they will make it 15 in a row

I think they will make 15 in a row too...

[15 NWTF 08]

They have a great Defensive catcher with a great arm and pop time. I dont know about offensively, i didnt get to see him bat.

[gotmilk?]

If that bullpen can get it done this year, I dont see no reason why they cant win the WS!!!