South Pittsburg vs Sale Creek (The Captain against that Cox man)

[Southtowner]

Dearest Mother- 

  I was so filled with exuberance upon hearing of your care package arrival that I immediately jumped into the river and swam from New Hope to Battery Hill to retrieve it.  The squirrel butter along with the possum cakes have kept me healthy and strong during this new assignment The Captain has dispatched me on.  I've been tracking small panther prints along the banks of the Tennessee river for many a mile.  I have now scaled the scenic Lookout mountain gazing down into what is their camp using the spyglass Poppa gave me as a small lad.  As I'm peering through my spyglass, my ears are distrubed by a plaintive wail coming from the hog trough valley. I turn my attention and spyglass towards said wailing and my vision spots none other than Captain Fear Beard himself! I must make mental notes and report to Captain Victorious at once.-

                       Sergeant Southtowner 

 

P.S.  Send more squirrel butter.  The Captain ordered me to spread most of my squirrel butter on that injury report list that Bass man had and made him eat it. Lest it fell in enemy hands.

[Roy Dillard]

What kind of mess is this? I garuntee you I didnt think I was ever gonna make it back.  I was up there at that Tucker mans field last year watching that championship game and that durn orngnblack man took me to one of them college bars and got me some of that Tennessee whiskey.   I thought he was going to take me back to that Tucker mans field.  I garuntee you that was a bunch of mess.  Next thing I knew he had me loaded up and took me back to Greenback and held ole RD hostage. These durn Greenback people wouldnt even give me my fudge rounds and red bull.  They made me eat twinkies. They got real mad at me cause I said that durn Ryan man cheated on that sideline play.   I garuntee you it made me real mad.  I offered to give them Greenback people my Murphy Fair book collection if they would let me go.  I couldnt even look at Murphys new pole and Murphy couldnt give me my new Murphy Fair book.   They took be to that durn CAK game at that Ryan mans field and tied me up to a chair in the back of one of them durn pickup trucks.  I felt like aunt Edna from the durn Griswalds.  I told that orgnblack man that I had to go use that Ryan mans bathroom and he let me go.  I slipped out that durn gate and was looking for my billy goat to ride home.  They had done turned him loose to.  I started walking and some man picked me up near that Vonore place and gave me a ride to Chattanooga.  I immediately found me a Murphy Fair book at that durn cleaners place so I could read about our boys.   Let me ask you a question.  Why is Grider already being lazy and giving our boys two weeks of not playing a game?  I am going to try to come watch our boys this Friday against this Cocks man if I can come up with enough money to get in Griders stadium.  I spent all my money getting back home from Greenback since I couldnt find my goat to ride.  Then I went and seen that man at Foodland today and spent all my money buying fudge rounds and Red bull.  This is a bunch of mess. You think im joking but im not.

[TheAmbassador]

3 minutes ago, Roy Dillard said:

What kind of mess is this? I garuntee you I didnt think I was ever gonna make it back.  I was up there at that Tucker mans field last year watching that championship game and that durn orngnblack man took me to one of them college bars and got me some of that Tennessee whiskey.   I thought he was going to take me back to that Tucker mans field.  I garuntee you that was a bunch of mess.  Next thing I knew he had me loaded up and took me back to Greenback and held ole RD hostage. These durn Greenback people wouldnt even give me my fudge rounds and red bull.  They made me eat twinkies. They got real mad at me cause I said that durn Ryan man cheated on that sideline play.   I garuntee you it made me real mad.  I offered to give them Greenback people my Murphy Fair book collection if they would let me go.  I couldnt even look at Murphys new pole and Murphy couldnt give me my new Murphy Fair book.   They took be to that durn CAK game at that Ryan mans field and tied me up to a chair in the back of one of them durn pickup trucks.  I felt like aunt Edna from the durn Griswalds.  I told that orgnblack man that I had to go use that Ryan mans bathroom and he let me go.  I slipped out that durn gate and was looking for my billy goat to ride home.  They had done turned him loose to.  I started walking and some man picked me up near that Vonore place and gave me a ride to Chattanooga.  I immediately found me a Murphy Fair book at that durn cleaners place so I could read about our boys.   Let me ask you a question.  Why is Grider already being lazy and giving our boys two weeks of not playing a game?  I am going to try to come watch our boys this Friday against this Cocks man if I can come up with enough money to get in Griders stadium.  I spent all my money getting back home from Greenback since I couldnt find my goat to ride.  Then I went and seen that man at Foodland today and spent all my money buying fudge rounds and Red bull.  This is a bunch of mess. You think im joking but im not.

Holy Toledo Batman. All is right in the world again. Good to see you back Roy. Sounds like you had quite a debacle. Did you hear dueling banjos in the background? Just what all did those Greenback boys do to you? 

[Southtowner]

3 minutes ago, Roy Dillard said:

What kind of mess is this? I garuntee you I didnt think I was ever gonna make it back.  I was up there at that Tucker mans field last year watching that championship game and that durn orngnblack man took me to one of them college bars and got me some of that Tennessee whiskey.   I thought he was going to take me back to that Tucker mans field.  I garuntee you that was a bunch of mess.  Next thing I knew he had me loaded up and took me back to Greenback and held ole RD hostage. These durn Greenback people wouldnt even give me my fudge rounds and red bull.  They made me eat twinkies. They got real mad at me cause I said that durn Ryan man cheated on that sideline play.   I garuntee you it made me real mad.  I offered to give them Greenback people my Murphy Fair book collection if they would let me go.  I couldnt even look at Murphys new pole and Murphy couldnt give me my new Murphy Fair book.   They took be to that durn CAK game at that Ryan mans field and tied me up to a chair in the back of one of them durn pickup trucks.  I felt like aunt Edna from the durn Griswalds.  I told that orgnblack man that I had to go use that Ryan mans bathroom and he let me go.  I slipped out that durn gate and was looking for my billy goat to ride home.  They had done turned him loose to.  I started walking and some man picked me up near that Vonore place and gave me a ride to Chattanooga.  I immediately found me a Murphy Fair book at that durn cleaners place so I could read about our boys.   Let me ask you a question.  Why is Grider already being lazy and giving our boys two weeks of not playing a game?  I am going to try to come watch our boys this Friday against this Cocks man if I can come up with enough money to get in Griders stadium.  I spent all my money getting back home from Greenback since I couldnt find my goat to ride.  Then I went and seen that man at Foodland today and spent all my money buying fudge rounds and Red bull.  This is a bunch of mess. You think im joking but im not.

What is this mess. 

[TheAmbassador]

1 minute ago, Southtowner said:

What is this mess. 

Tell me about it!

[Roy Dillard]

6 minutes ago, Southtowner said:

What is this mess. 

I garuntee you it was a bunch of mess.  I have been trying to read about our boys first two games.  I saw you made our websites but since im back im the official website maker.    You think im joking but im not. 

[Southtowner]

How much did it cost you Bass to buy Roy's password.  

[TheAmbassador]

Just now, Southtowner said:

How much did it cost you Bass to buy Roy's password.  

I haven’t bought it. I’m glad he’s back though. I was starting to worry about him.  I still think he heard dueling banjos while he was held hostage. 

[Southtowner]

5 minutes ago, Roy Dillard said:

I garuntee you it was a bunch of mess.  I have been trying to read about our boys first two games.  I saw you made our websites but since im back im the official website maker.    You think im joking but im not. 

I've been trying to hold things together Roy. In fact we all have.  I even used your profile pic all last week. No joking. 

[TheAmbassador]

Just now, Southtowner said:

I've been trying to hold things together Roy. In fact we all have.  I even used your profile pic all last week. No joking. 

This is true Roy. Southtowner is telling you the truth. He used your photo as his own last week. 

[Roy Dillard]

9 minutes ago, Southtowner said:

I've been trying to hold things together Roy. In fact we all have.  I even used your profile pic all last week. No joking. 

 

9 minutes ago, Southtowner said:

I've been trying to hold things together Roy. In fact we all have.  I even used your profile pic all last week. No joking. 

Im not falling for your mess. You would have to sign in my durn name to get my picture.  You think im joking but im not. 

[piratetom]

31 minutes ago, Roy Dillard said:

 

Im not falling for your mess. You would have to sign in my durn name to get my picture.  You think im joking but im not. 

Glad you are back Roy. Or are you ?