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Salem

Transfer Thread - Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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1 hour ago, haweanbula said:

I'm personally a fan of allowing a high school kid one free transfer without moving into a new zone. Any future transfer after that, and I think they should have to move into the new zone. 

I was hoping that measure would have passed last year by TSSAA. Similar concept as school vouchers getting a kid out of a poorly performing school. When students (or athletes) have options then it can encourage those in control  get their act together. 

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On 5/2/2019 at 10:13 PM, tradertwo said:

There's another lesson to be learned from this. In your own post you described a positive experience with your son and his team, even though they weren't that great. Now, you say that you'd recommend grandson transferring to a better team... what changed? Will your grandson have a better experience, or will he subconsciously develop the attitude of cutting and running to a "better" situation when the going gets tough? High school sports today, and adulthood tomorrow... marriage, employment, and life in general can be a series of tough times and great ones in the aftermath... if you work through the tough ones.

"cutting and running to a "better" situation when the going gets tough? Go ask Michael Stroup that. 

Point is, there's no more loyalty in sports. Now, it's starting to tricker down to the high school level. Stroup, McConnell, Marty Wheeler, Tyler Turner, Rick Rice are all high school football coaches that have to pursue a different job within the last 5 years. Turner and Wheeler's teams went to Cookeville and bounced, Stroup and McConnell had program-best (or near program best success) and left. Rice's team was always a deep playoff team. And that's just high school football coaches I can think of on the top of my head.

I see a lot of time that a lot of parents (especially old schoolers) that criticize the heck out of high school athletes for transferring to a new school. But coaches do the same exact thing, right? Why are we giving kids heck for doing what's best for them?

Kids are only in high school for four years. Imagine being the kid that grew up being successful and loving the sport that he/she grew up playing and then hate the sport when he/she gets to high school? Because, now I am noticing a trend of that. 

In addition, there are kids that don't talk to their high school coaches when they turn the tassel. So if a kid graduates high school, do we give the high school coach credit? When a kid graduates college, do we give the high school credit? When an adult gets a job promotion, do we give the high school coach credit?

Am I saying that coaches that focuses purely on winning are jerks to the players? No. I do believe that y’all kind of went out of proportion going back to my post on this thread. Times have changed, these kids want to win. They didn’t sign up to play high school sports to be better individuals. I know there are a lot of athletes that believe they have the potential to play in college at what sport they’re playing at. If they transfer in order to see there’s a better chance at obtaining that goal, then why criticize them? I never bought into the hold “play out your high school career at the school you started. Don’t leave when you’re not getting what you want” talk. It’s better to let go and start fresh somewhere else then to hold on and hurt yourself more. Teenagers these days are not as bad when it comes to "quitting when times get rough" as the old-school people perceive them to be.

The "everybody gets an award" quote that I see a lot. It's the parents that gives the kids the award, not the kid.

Edited by TryNotToSuck

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1 hour ago, TryNotToSuck said:

"cutting and running to a "better" situation when the going gets tough? Go ask Michael Stroup that. 

Point is, there's no more loyalty in sports. Now, it's starting to tricker down to the high school level. Stroup, McConnell, Marty Wheeler, Tyler Turner, Rick Rice are all high school football coaches that have to pursue a different job within the last 5 years. Turner and Wheeler's teams went to Cookeville and bounced, Stroup and McConnell had program-best (or near program best success) and left. Rice's team was always a deep playoff team. And that's just high school football coaches I can think of on the top of my head.

I see a lot of time that a lot of parents (especially old schoolers) that criticize the heck out of high school athletes for transferring to a new school. But coaches do the same exact thing, right? Why are we giving kids heck for doing what's best for them?

Kids are only in high school for four years. Imagine being the kid that grew up being successful and loving the sport that he/she grew up playing and then hate the sport when he/she gets to high school? Because, now I am noticing a trend of that. 

In addition, there are kids that don't talk to their high school coaches when they turn the tassel. So if a kid graduates high school, do we give the high school coach credit? When a kid graduates college, do we give the high school credit? When an adult gets a job promotion, do we give the high school coach credit?

Am I saying that coaches that focuses purely on winning are jerks to the players? No. I do believe that y’all kind of went out of proportion going back to my post on this thread. Times have changed, these kids want to win. They didn’t sign up to play high school sports to be better individuals. I know there are a lot of athletes that believe they have the potential to play in college at what sport they’re playing at. If they transfer in order to see there’s a better chance at obtaining that goal, then why criticize them? I never bought into the hold “play out your high school career at the school you started. Don’t leave when you’re not getting what you want” talk. It’s better to let go and start fresh somewhere else then to hold on and hurt yourself more. Teenagers these days are not as bad when it comes to "quitting when times get rough" as the old-school people perceive them to be.

The "everybody gets an award" quote that I see a lot. It's the parents that gives the kids the award, not the kid.

Lot's of difference in earning a living for your family and doing what's best for them, than playing sports in high school. I have no problem with parents and kids deciding what's in their best interest, but I do believe that transferring from one school to another solely for the purpose of winning isn't the best of life lessons. If I were in the situation of sending my kid to my alma-mater, or to a better academic and/or athletic option, I would absolutely try and make the best choice for him... if we'd talked it over and decided on one, then two years in the other school looks like a championship contender, we're staying put. Lot's of variables could change that... mistreatment or academic failure would warrant consideration, but this thread was intended to debate the prospect of transferring after enrolled at one school just for the purpose of joining a better team, period.

   I can't speak about other coaches situations, but for the first one you brought up, I can. Coach Stroup built our program from a shambles and laughing stock, to respectability, then into a contender in four years. In doing so, he was named coach of the year, and garnered interest from some high profile programs... one of those was USJ, and they "made him an offer that he couldn't refuse". As a die hard SH fan I was sick to hear that they had contacted him, but as a friend I  told him that he'd be crazy not to accept their offer... his wife's family is in Jackson, he got a substantial pay increase, and his children will receive an education from one of the very few schools that exceed what we can offer at Scotts Hill. I don't exactly call that cutting and running to a better situation... I'd call that having his priorities in order.

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4 hours ago, tradertwo said:

Lot's of difference in earning a living for your family and doing what's best for them, than playing sports in high school. I have no problem with parents and kids deciding what's in their best interest, but I do believe that transferring from one school to another solely for the purpose of winning isn't the best of life lessons. If I were in the situation of sending my kid to my alma-mater, or to a better academic and/or athletic option, I would absolutely try and make the best choice for him... if we'd talked it over and decided on one, then two years in the other school looks like a championship contender, we're staying put. Lot's of variables could change that... mistreatment or academic failure would warrant consideration, but this thread was intended to debate the prospect of transferring after enrolled at one school just for the purpose of joining a better team, period.

   I can't speak about other coaches situations, but for the first one you brought up, I can. Coach Stroup built our program from a shambles and laughing stock, to respectability, then into a contender in four years. In doing so, he was named coach of the year, and garnered interest from some high profile programs... one of those was USJ, and they "made him an offer that he couldn't refuse". As a die hard SH fan I was sick to hear that they had contacted him, but as a friend I  told him that he'd be crazy not to accept their offer... his wife's family is in Jackson, he got a substantial pay increase, and his children will receive an education from one of the very few schools that exceed what we can offer at Scotts Hill. I don't exactly call that cutting and running to a better situation... I'd call that having his priorities in order.

Well said bro. 

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This is my two cents on this matter.  Having kids that transferred.   Everyone thinks its always about the sports part (I'm sure that is the case for a lot of people and is a big part ) however, when the school administration is toxic and does not tell the truth I would say leave.   Some schools staffing becomes filled with the good ole boys staff that they are blind to other students/athletes and only focus on one core group (which usually is their own) it's time to leave as well.  We thought long and hard about leaving a system we grew up in and loved at one point.   We talked to the kids (one actually came to us and asked if they could transfer) It has worked out for sure and wished we would have done it earlier.  Yes my kids are 2 sports athletes and have flourished at the other school.  I am just glad that they where given a second chance where they could make things happen on their OWN  not who's parents are yours or living in a certain neighborhood so we could all be buddies.  

Edited by Tencfan74

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3 hours ago, Tencfan74 said:

This is my two cents on this matter.  Having kids that transferred.   Everyone thinks its always about the sports part (I'm sure that is the case for a lot of people and is a big part ) however, when the school administration is toxic and does not tell the truth I would say leave.   Some schools staffing becomes filled with the good ole boys staff that they are blind to other students/athletes and only focus on one core group (which usually is their own) it's time to leave as well.  We thought long and hard about leaving a system we grew up in and loved at one point.   We talked to the kids (one actually came to us and asked if they could transfer) It has worked out for sure and wished we would have done it earlier.  Yes my kids are 2 sports athletes and have flourished at the other school.  I am just glad that they where given a second chance where they could make things happen on their OWN  not who's parents are yours or living in a certain neighborhood so we could all be buddies.  

Very good post!This goes on at alot of schools.

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12 hours ago, Tencfan74 said:

This is my two cents on this matter.  Having kids that transferred.   Everyone thinks its always about the sports part (I'm sure that is the case for a lot of people and is a big part ) however, when the school administration is toxic and does not tell the truth I would say leave.   Some schools staffing becomes filled with the good ole boys staff that they are blind to other students/athletes and only focus on one core group (which usually is their own) it's time to leave as well.  We thought long and hard about leaving a system we grew up in and loved at one point.   We talked to the kids (one actually came to us and asked if they could transfer) It has worked out for sure and wished we would have done it earlier.  Yes my kids are 2 sports athletes and have flourished at the other school.  I am just glad that they where given a second chance where they could make things happen on their OWN  not who's parents are yours or living in a certain neighborhood so we could all be buddies.  

The big word below is likely the single biggest problem in many of the smaller and more rural middle and high school programs today. It trickles all the way down to the playing fields and courts. 

nep·o·tism

/ˈnepəˌtizəm/

noun

  • 1.the practice among those with power or influence of favoring relatives or friends, especially by giving them jobs:

 

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I am kind of surprised at some of the answers here. Let me answer the questions with some questions of my own. 

1. Why should a kid stay at a crappy school? Why? The reasons so far, and don't take this the wrong way, are LAME

2. Why should a kid be forced to play for incompetent loser coaches? WHY?

3. Why does it only warrant a transfer if "immoral" lessons are being taught? And what would that even be? Headhunting? To me it's immoral to play a kid out of position, sit him, waste him, etc. 

Finally, and this might, I say MIGHT be somewhat unrelated, but WHY DOES SUMMERTOWN GET TO HOST FOOTBALL GAMES IN A COW/CORNFIELD?

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  • 155 posts

An open letter to all the dads with current or future ballplayers:

  

 Gentlemen,

 YOU are the CEO of Your Son Inc. This position bestows on YOU an enormous weight and burden. There is no one to help you with your decisions, YOU are an island. The decisions YOU make will be part of the formation of YOUR son for the rest of his life. YOU are the wind in his sails YOU are his navigator most importantly YOU are his rudder to steer him in calm seas and gales as well. He is blessed with all the knowledge YOU have shared with him. His heart and mind are strong and his eyes are clear. He looks up to YOU and observes and stores away to the tiniest detail of YOUR actions. He will certainly be the man YOU form him to be.  He has generally only four years of High School eligibility. As the CEO of Your Son Inc. YOU MUST guide him YOU MUST put him in the best situation to be successful! Anything less is abject failure. If YOU decide to stay in an abysmal situation then throw away your scabbard and stay and FIGHT for him to your last breath. If YOU decide to journey to a different land, run don't walk. They're are great adventures to be experienced on the other side of the mountain. YOUR young warrior will be welcomed by the army there.

 The sand in the hour glass ebbs away even as YOU read this. Make haste make a plan. Make the decision that ensures YOUR son, YOUR flesh and blood the best opportunity to be successful. Listen not to the fools that would call YOU a coward. Remember, The weak and the timid will stay back and defend the past while the brave and aggressive charge headlong into the future.

 

I wrote this post some moons back on another thread. It is relevant here as well I feel.  Hope this helps with YOUR decision.

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3 hours ago, GeneralAmerigha said:

I am kind of surprised at some of the answers here. Let me answer the questions with some questions of my own. 

1. Why should a kid stay at a crappy school? Why? The reasons so far, and don't take this the wrong way, are LAME

2. Why should a kid be forced to play for incompetent loser coaches? WHY?

3. Why does it only warrant a transfer if "immoral" lessons are being taught? And what would that even be? Headhunting? To me it's immoral to play a kid out of position, sit him, waste him, etc. 

Finally, and this might, I say MIGHT be somewhat unrelated, but WHY DOES SUMMERTOWN GET TO HOST FOOTBALL GAMES IN A COW/CORNFIELD?

"Because if they transfer to a different school, then we are not teaching them valuable lessons in life. We would rather force them to stay at a school and be miserable than transferring somewhere else and be happy."

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The school my son transferred from is now on their third coach in three years and have only won 2 games the last 2 years.  It was/is in complete disarray and everyone pointed the finger at someone else, coaches and players.  We didn't leave because of playing time as he was playing both sides of the ball the whole game as a sophomore and rarely came out but I could see that he wasn't learning about the "TEAM" aspect of the sport or how to be a "WINNER".    I watched fights on more than one occasion among teammates during games while he was there and arguments among coaches not to mention the AD.   I didn't make him leave but we did give him that option and the only regret we have is that the move wasn't made sooner.  Most all his friends(teammates) were happy for him when he left and some wanted to come but didn't have the means.

He learned more about football and playing as a team before the season started than he did in the two previous years.  I want my son to be able to recognize when he is in a bad situation and that he don't have to stay in it.  It wasn't about individual goals for us and he showed that by playing out of position all year because his coach told him the team would be better if he did, so he complied willingly and got to learn a new position and different aspect of the game.  

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